Kill a dream

Granted. But they are all damaged beyond repair and just sit rusting on your front lawn.

I wish that I had a better response
Granted but Alaskarat stole it away from you before you could use it.

I wish I could pass my Aveo off to neutron.
Granted. As neutron goes to drive away from the exchange, he accidentally knocks it into reverse and it drives over your foot. Then over the roses. Straight through the front of the house. Then out the back wall.

I wish that it was Saturday.
Granted it is Saturday in Alaska but that makes it Sunday in Australia.

I wish all Februarys were this warm.
Granted. However, all Januarys are twice as cold, and with unrelenting sleet and snowfalls.

I wish that I could find the magic lamp.
Granted but it is a Black Magic Lamp and turns you into a zombie.

I wish I was fishing
Granted. Your Ace is now Armed and due to detonate in 3...2....1

I wish that I had a self cleaning and self servicing car.
Granted but it also a self cleaning oven and you get confused sometimes when using it.

I wish we had a BMW dealer in this town so I could buy one.
Granted but you never have time to deal with it.

I wish I had a banana split.
Granted. But it's a split of the banana that is found in your pants, and it's rather painful.

I wish that I had some smarties.
Granted but they expired in 1864.

I wish that the laundry was done.
Granted. You have more interactive dolls from the "My Little Prostitute" adult sex toy brand.

I wish I didn't procrastinate so much with all this work.
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Granted. It has been marketed as the male dildo to surpass all male dildos. And your parents watched you unwrap it.

I wish that there was 10 hours for sleep right now.
Granted. Your neighbor is a near deaf Ark Music Factory products enthusiast.

I wish my brother would move out of the house.
Granted. But my still-living-at-home brother moves in to take his place.

I wish I had a nice home of my very own.