Kill a dream

Granted. He now has chicken pox.

I wish that one wish would come true
Granted I have arrived to your bedside.

I wish I had not wrote the above.
Granted. You chiselled it into your forehead with a nail instead.

I wish that there really was magic
Granted but that magic is used to turn you into a toad.

I wish that Alaska's beaches were warm.
Granted. They are covered in bubbling lava.

I wish that the air conditioning was working at the office.
Granted but only in the heating setting.

I wish I was not so perfect in every way.
Granted. You are now very imperfect and end up institutionalised because no one wants to deal with you.

I wish that I was pain free
Granted your dead

I wish we could do a Viking funeral for Ash.
Granted. But the boat you need is quite huge, and you end up having to get a steel ship, and it doesn't burn. Ash then rises from the dead and eats your brains.

I wish that success was easier
Granted success has been made easier but just for Alaskarat

I wish ash would not have ate my brians.
Granted. There were none to eat so she went out for Italian.

I wish that the hell would stop.
Granted hell stoped (???) but no ones knows what the hell you are talking about.

I wish I had a real cool speed boat.
Granted. You go to drop the anchor and accidentally bump the throttle that knocks you overboard. You can only watch as you slowly drown as your boat covers the mile to the beach, rams into the pier, and launches into the boathouse and shop. Your last view is of the fireball rising from the devastation

I wish that this month had been better.
Granted but it was me who had the better month not you.

I wish I owned a snow plow.
Granted. It's rusting out the front of your house. The neighbours are up in arms because it's an eyesore and dangerous, the council are fining you every day that you have it there, and you can't find anyone to take it away.

I wish I had the magic touch.
Granted everything you touch turns to gold meaning when you touch food it turns to gold so you starve to death.

I wish ash knew that in Alaska no one cares what is in your front yard.
Granted. But that is just your impression. The neighbours are currently making complaints about yours.

I wish that I had clarity of purpose.
Granted, your purpose is now a suicide mission.

I wish I had more monies.
Granted. But the clam shell currency of the Greater Northern Malayan Morseas sect is not going to be much use outside of the four people in the sect.

I wish that the shower had better water pressure.
Granted but the water pressure is so great that the water spray pierces your skin and kills you.

I wish that I did not have to re-line my favorite salmon rod.