Kill a dream

Granted, you die in your sleep.

I wish for world peace.
 
Granted, the world is now filled with peas

I wish I had a giant burger with BBQ sauce and onion rings.
 
Granted,you have now a tofu burger

i wish i had a nice track bike
 
granted, pity it's a train track bike and you get squished by the 7.20 out of Eastern Townships
(and excuse my ignorance of rail areas in Canada)

I wish for better nails
 
Granted. You get pulled over and the police find a severed hand in your glove box.

I wish for cooler weather.
 
Granted, but now the temperature is 0 kelvin, molecular energy is minimal and everything dies.

I wish for football (Handegg if you prefer)season to arrive quicker.
 
Granted, welcome to the NEL (National Egg League).

I wish I could eat an ice cream without digestive repercussions
 
Granted, but you soon discover that you're diabetic.

I wish I lived on a rural-sized property in suburbia with no immediate neighbours (such places exist!).
 
granted, but you discover you suffer severe hayfever from phalaris grass and it is growing all over your property and resists all attempts at control or removal.

I wish for feet that aren't hurting
 
granted. You accidentally fell into it instead. Boiling hot coffee which is for some reason in your bath tub. You skin is now starting to peel off!

I wish for fields of green and red roses
 
Granted, here is your half salad of field greens with designs of red roses on the bowl's porcelain lining.

I wish I could fly.
 
Granted, you are intercepted by F-16s, escorted to a secure facility and dissected.

I wish liquor was cheaper.
 
Granted, but because of the new affordable prices you become a degenerate drunk.

I wish Big Brother wasn't watching me.
 
Granted, you live in a shack in Montana.

I wish I wasn't a degenerate drunk.
 
Granted, but once sober you'd be able to reach your full potential and become the next Hitler.

I wish I had a Jack and Coke right now.
 
Granted, here is Jack the Ripper and a mountain of cocaine. Have at it!

I wish I could eat the cheese pizzas at the hospital cafeteria without feeling guilty or gaseous
 
Granted, no gas our guilt but there is a heavy dose of E.Coli

I wish I could be a freshman in college again.
 
Granted but you would be attending DeVry.

I wish I could unwatch Gone with the Wind.
 
Granted, but the Hannah Montana movie will be implanted in your mind forever

I wish I had perfect teeth and didn't have to wear a retainer anymore.
 
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