Kill a dream

Blind_Io

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Granted, but then the rest of the world would run out of jokes about England.

I wish I had more hours in the day to goof off and play video games.
 

ashspet

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Granted. You are walking down the street when a Morris Marina passes a little too close to you and you accidentally get caught in the resulting accident when Careless Air, coincedentally transporting a piano at the time, has a mishap resulting in the aforesaid Morris Marina being crushed by the aforeindicated piano. The result is a broken leg, some minor upper torso bruising, a non-serious but slightly bleeding head laceration and some splinters in unmentionable places. As a result, you are now confined to the couch, cannot go to work and now goof off all day.

I wish that I could have 'some' today...
 

salle

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Granted but you got a yeast infection and then can't get "some" more for a few weeks.

I wish my freezer would have some popsicles in it (cola ones kkthxbai)
 

ashspet

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granted. Your shest freezer is now full of CHERRY-cola, making the largest cola popsicle in the northern hemisphere. You realise that the roast that you promised to cook for dinner is located at the bottom of the freezer and you need to get to it ASAP. You now have to lick your way to the bottom of the freezer.

I wish for the old-type smarties (not the new animal friendly ones)
 

Porsche Liebhaber

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Granted. Stuff that full of sugar are bad for your teeth :p

I wish the sun goes down at 5 PM not 8 PM.
 

Blind_Io

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Granted, but the Snickers bar carries a terrrrible curse. (that's bad)
But it comes with a free Frogurt! (that's good!)
The Frogurt is also cursed. (that's bad)
But it comes with your choice of sprinkles! (that's good!)
The sprinkles contain Sodium Benzoate.
.... that's bad.

I wish I had a better way to kill that last dream.
 

ashspet

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granted. You are issued with a 'Dream Killer' bazooka (patent pending). With the flick of a switch, it automatically zeros in on the nearest dream and destroys all molecules associated with said dream. Unfortunately, it backfires and destroys all your dreams.

I wish for more gherkins.
 

ashspet

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granted. You are now waiting and waiting and waiting. The spiders move in and cover you in cobwebs, the dust settles and makes you sneeze uncontrollably and no one wants to go near you. As you age, your brain cells die at an alarming rate and you are unemployable. In the end, you are in the gutter watching the world pass you by.

I wish I was warm
 

salle

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Granted you're now so hot everything around you starts to burn, and it turns into charcoal and ashes within mere seconds. And the only place you don't feel cold in is the centre of the earth.

I wish I didn't have to go clean up this bowl.
 

ashspet

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granted. You drop it instead and cut your foot open. It then gets gangrene and you end up having a below the knee amputation. Unfortunately the surgeon screws it up, and you finally end up with an above the knee amputation....of both legs.

I wish for rocky road ice cream
 

ashspet

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Granted. But then it turns to nothing.

I still wish for rocky road ice cream
 

Buffy_09

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Limerick, Ireland
Granted, but it is horribly unsatisfying. The disappointment leaves you severely depressed and you kill yourself.

I wish I was able to play the guitar.
 

darkshark0159

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He does, right before he was going to call you up and pay you 100 million to write or star in his new film.

I wish for 100 million rupees.
 

ashspet

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granted. But the market crashed, so it's now worth US$0.0000000000000000000000000000001

I wish to have Tuesday again
 
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