Kill a dream

Granted. For numerous reasons. And because of those reasons, that wish I am granting.

I wish that I was smarter
 
Granted you are just slightly smarter than the mentally deficient kids at that one school. You know the one.

I wish my shins would stop aching.
 
Granted. They are now gone. You have nothing below the hip.

I wish I could find the fortitude to hold my tongue today
 
Granted. Your fingers are superglued to your tongue.

I wish .
 
No!

I wish I could eradicate all memory of and negative impacts to my soul and character by my ex-girlfriend FFS.
 
Granted. You lose all the good stuff too.

I wish that the weather was less rainy
 
Granted, it's hailing, bigguns. And they're spiky.

I wish we were permitted an hour or 2 hour nap at work.
 
Granted. Have some snow and subzero weather instead.

I wish people would stop getting ready for Christmas so damn early.
 
Granted. It's now off the calendar for good. No Yuletide cheer for anyone!

I wish that I wasn't such a chickenshit flyer (though the turbulance wasn't too bad thank heavens)
 
Granted. You're a chickenshit driver.

I wish I could manage my time efficiently.
 
Granted. No more forums for you. They are time suckers

I wish that I had a clue of where I had to be
 
Granted. It's never where you actually want to be.

I wish I could fly.
 
Granted. But now your arms are wings and you have no hands. Your feet and legs are also gone, so you have to take off and land backwards on your butt.

I wish that there was less day to get through
 
Granted, you're now dead!

I wish I could drive a manual
 
Granted. You are now able to flip pages of a book!

I wish that I had finished my jobs for today.
 
Granhted, but your boss gives you a new job, one that is much more difficult.

I wish there was a handsome man, who is feeling horny in ash's bed waiting to pounce and ravish her.
 
Granted but like It's a Wonderful Life, a guardian angel comes to Earth, he shows you just how much you not being there affects your family and friends, so change your mind.

I was Paperbiro had not changed the wish I made for ash.
 
Granted. You're still Edward Cullen.

I wish I somewhere else, having the time of my life.
 
Granted but then you die.

I wish I still had both of my legs.
 
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