LP needs a motorized horse-drawn cart


Your Brown Banana for Scale
Apr 24, 2006
East-Timor, USA
206 HP N/A washing machine
Hai I need car halp plz bye.

Ok but on the real, here is my situ: I lost my Subaru. I was taking my friends on a trip to Taco Bell before one of our friends left for Germany. We were doing 30 on a 25 and on a blind hill this car was in the middle of the intersection of the blind hill and I hit her from behind. Her bumper was barely scratched and my car was completely totaled. Yes I was doing only 30. I tried to brake before hand but to no avail, and I couldn't dodge it left or right. I was put as at-fault. It was probably the worst driving incident of my life.

In 10 years of driving in Cali I never had one single accident or major incident (Just had two light taps in a parking lot, both of which weren't my fault). In no time here in Baltimore I've had all these incidents. Anyways. I'm a terrible driver probably but I'm not gonna think like that and I'm gonna just go forward and be more safe. I've literally stopped driving on that road since the incident and have taken a longer but relatively safer way to get home. I've almost completely stopped using my phone when I drive except to choose a song when I'm at a red light. I set the navi before I go. I drive a lot slower now, leave larger gaps between me and the car ahead and try not to drive too late at night if possible or when inclement weather sets in.

Anyways now I need car.

Thing is, I'm taking care of my parents right. My dad had multiple strokes and a brain aneurysm and my mom is a three time cancer survivor. They needed a place to stay to become financially more solvent before they moved back to India and I thought I would look after them during that time. My dad had his car and I had my car. They finally collected their money and started going back to India this October. I went with them. I came back and decided to drive my dad's car (since he's obv not using it when in India). But he's gonna want it back when they get back at the end of this month. They're gonna be here for 6 months and then go to India in October again.


I was originally thinking of a used car from $10k to $24k. I saw some nice used Lexuses and Audis. I thought of doing it that, with 5k down from the subaru's total loss, finance the rest. When I had the scooby, she was $26k ($30k after all the taxes and whatnots), and I put down $12k (from the Honda that I lost) and financed the rest. I felt originally like doing another car with a sticker of $30k but not sure I can financially manage that. I did find a lexus Is 350 F sport with < 40k miles on it for that much, so it's tempting.

However, I feel like financially speaking this is a dumb idea. I would be paying for two cars, regardless of whether they are here or not. This would only work if the car was cheap (less than $10k) and I could pay it off quickly or immediately. I would still have to pay insurance for two cars like before.

A thought occurred to me (after having the seed implanted by a non-car-bro friend) that I could try to find a 6 month lease for a car. It would hopefully not be super expensive, and I could return it in the winter months and drive my dad's car instead during those times.

I think that might work best in my current situation as they figure out what they want to do with their lives.

Regardless of the mode in which I am obtaining a car, here are some of the requirements I have:

So requirements:
  1. 4/5-seater/4-door
  2. FWD or AWD Actually scratch that, all the drive modes are fine with me
  3. No manual (dad should be able to drive the car if we're taking it on long road trips, and no his brain cannot handle learning to drive stick)
  4. Monthly fee of no more than $350-$400.
  5. Rearview Camera
  6. Doesn't look like the lovechild of Steve Buscemi and a neanderthal (looking at you 2018 Honda Accord)
Options I would love but wouldn't mind if unavailable:
  1. Sunroof/Moonroof
  2. Nice stereo
  3. Adaptive Cruise Control, Blind spot monitoring, Lane Keeping assistance, Pre-collision sensors and braking
  4. More than 4 cylinders, but in a pinch I could do a turbo-4.
  5. Keyless access/remote start
  6. Some other shit I cant remember.
Thoughts? Takes? Opinions?
Last edited:
I want to know why a horse drawn carriage needs to be motorized.
^^^ has same question actually, unless the horse itself is motorized maybe?
On topic look at V6 Maximas, if you wanna go used G
sedans are plentiful, cheap and quite nice to be in. Bonus is that they can be had with an RWD biased AWD so you get some fun dynamics but also a bit of help in the bad weather
Last edited:
Ford Fusion? You can get those with radar cruise control. Yes, it’s not very “car guy” but, it’ll meet your needs. Pretty sure you can get those for less than 30K. Heck, around here you can pick up one in Sport trim for less than $30k from time to time.
What about a Hyundai Genesis?
^ oh yeah, you can get the Equus as well if you want full blown back seat luxury on a budget.