essentialatom
Well-Known Member
My friend has had a full beard since he was 16. It proved beyond any shadow of a doubt his manliness, but yesterday he made the heart-wrenching decision to remove his person of all face fungus. Bear in mind that few of his friends had seen him without a full beard - certainly nobody he knows at university, and not too many from school either. He did it for a mask party he went to last night simply for the joke of wearing a papier mach? beard and revealing a clean-shaven face to his unsuspecting friends. Which is awesome. Doing anything for the sake of a joke, even if it only amuses you, is a great way to live your life.
As we go to the same university, he came over to my halls so that I could supervise the operation. Of course, we couldn't just take it off at once. That would be a waste. If beards only have one purpose, it's to provide a canvas for amusing shapes on one's face.
Thus commences the delicate procedure of creating humour through hair:
Sam, plus beard. A good chunk of hair to get rid of.
I'd like to make it clear that he used a ladies' razor. So what if he got it free somewhere? It's still woman apparatus. Tsk.
The shaving begins.
See! The Venus Divine in action. How poetic the image, a feminine device emasculating the male as he complies, wilfully giving up his Y chromosome... [/Freud]
See how he cries! The male, realising his mistake, has no option but to complete the procedure. [/Freud again]
Actually, he looks pretty good.
The sculptor at work, forming his beard's next shape.
Sexy.
High five!
The next shape was one I suggested. He didn't end up looking like the American-style trucker I'd imagined, though. The result was way cooler...
... a sheriff!
At first this moustache made him look like a dad (anyone's dad, really), but the addition of my glasses made him look like a Gumby (from Monty Python's Flying Circus).
My brain hurts! My brain hurts!
All of this nonsense, of course, was merely foreplay. What we were really in this for was...
The Hitler.
He was scared to do the real salute because the curtains were open and people might have seen us. That would have been weird.
He did a proper goosestep though.
"One hundred... BILLION... dollars!"
I don't want to tell you what we'd been doing just before I took this photo. Suffice it to say that we were both very relaxed.
As we go to the same university, he came over to my halls so that I could supervise the operation. Of course, we couldn't just take it off at once. That would be a waste. If beards only have one purpose, it's to provide a canvas for amusing shapes on one's face.
Thus commences the delicate procedure of creating humour through hair:
Sam, plus beard. A good chunk of hair to get rid of.
I'd like to make it clear that he used a ladies' razor. So what if he got it free somewhere? It's still woman apparatus. Tsk.
The shaving begins.
See! The Venus Divine in action. How poetic the image, a feminine device emasculating the male as he complies, wilfully giving up his Y chromosome... [/Freud]
See how he cries! The male, realising his mistake, has no option but to complete the procedure. [/Freud again]
Actually, he looks pretty good.
The sculptor at work, forming his beard's next shape.
Sexy.
High five!
The next shape was one I suggested. He didn't end up looking like the American-style trucker I'd imagined, though. The result was way cooler...
... a sheriff!
At first this moustache made him look like a dad (anyone's dad, really), but the addition of my glasses made him look like a Gumby (from Monty Python's Flying Circus).
My brain hurts! My brain hurts!
All of this nonsense, of course, was merely foreplay. What we were really in this for was...
The Hitler.
He was scared to do the real salute because the curtains were open and people might have seen us. That would have been weird.
He did a proper goosestep though.
"One hundred... BILLION... dollars!"
I don't want to tell you what we'd been doing just before I took this photo. Suffice it to say that we were both very relaxed.
Last edited: