New Year resolutions for F1...

EsPpY

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Courtesy of PlanetF1... pretty funny so I'd thought I'd share..

F1 Drivers
Be nice on the radio in 2009. From now on, everyone will be able to hear you. Let's not have any more Juan-Pablo moments broadcast on the world TV feed; as in "F***ing Raikkonen!" (Though the plan to make all radio traffic available might go the same way as the televised driver briefings we were going to have...and never got).


Jenson Button
Find some interesting new hobbies just in case that mythical Honda buyer never shows up. As you've got a beard all you need to go trainspotting now is a notepad and an anorak.


Lewis Hamilton
Don't say things like: "Nobody overtakes me round the outside!" because when it happens at the very first corner of the very next race, you look a bit of an arse.


Luiz Antonio Massa
Wait for the result before you start to celebrate.


Robert Kubica
Lose some weight, chubby, that single chocolate you had at Christmas has really tipped the scales.


Felipe Massa
Green doesn't necessarily mean Go under the Ferrari pit light system. (Though we suspect you've figured this out).


Flavio Briatore
Ferrari passed their good engines on to Toro Rosso, Flav, so do the same with Renault engines for Red Bull. It's the least you could do as you nicked their engine cover.


Mark Webber
Watch out for the 4x4...


Luca Montezemolo
If it comes down to a Ferrari vs McLaren scrap in the last race of 2009, mount the TV on the wall at a minimum height of 1.3 metres, so you can't easily get your foot up to it. Oh, and try not to present Bernie Ecclestone with the opportunity for Sports Quote of 2008 by comparing the Singapore GP to a circus. (Bernie's riposte was that if Singapore was a circus, we have to be greatful to Ferrari for providing the clowns.)


Bernie Ecclestone
Get your wad out Bernard Charles, 2009 is going to be expensive. Slavicia wants the yacht and the house and FOTA want the shop.


Max Mosley
Don't go down to the cellar, Max. Or should that be 'in' the cellar...


Michael Schumacher
Look, if Lance Armstrong can come out of retirement to ride the Tour de France...


Nelson Piquet Junior
Try a bit harder in 2009. But not too hard that Fernando gets worried. By the way, the hair's still looking lovely, the L'Oreal contract can't be far off now.


David Coulthard
Good luck on your new career as BBC's F1 pundit. Now, you might as well get it over with and call the BBC's football/NFL/ F1 presenter Jake Humphry a vacuous, talentless, gawky tw*t in the first programme. You're going to be thinking it all spring and all summer so you might as well get it out of your system.











And, I didnt know this but, in 2009 all radio traffic can be heard by everyone ?! :blink:
 
Luiz Antonio Massa
Wait for the result before you start to celebrate.

this one's a bit harsh... I think he celebrated 5 seconds too soon....
 
^ some of those are pretty funny.

I'm convinced that 2009 is going to be one of worse seasons in F1 history. :(
 
^^Maybe in terms of racing, yes. But it will be nice to see the driers slide the cars a bit more with slicks...and as long as Lewis wins, I'm happy :)
 
^ some of those are pretty funny.

I'm convinced that 2009 is going to be one of worse seasons in F1 history. :(
Yup...


*on the radio* preparing to overtake [inset driver name] !

*flicks switch to adjust angle of wing*

*presses GO GO BABY button* - extra 80hp swells up the car

*engine roars louder*

*driver looks at overtaken driver*

*radioes* COWA BUNGA MUTHA FUCKA !


;)
 
^^Maybe in terms of racing, yes. But it will be nice to see the driers slide the cars a bit more with slicks...and as long as Lewis wins, I'm happy :)
Slicks on wet = HOLY SHIT.

I mean it. I just tried like some worn slippers which were totally no grooved and flat, on a toilet that was just washed.... WET.


DAMN. I nearly understeered into the gravel trap yo!
 
I mean it. I just tried like some worn slippers which were totally no grooved and flat, on a toilet that was just washed.... WET.



:lol::lol::lol:
 
Slicks on wet = HOLY SHIT.

I mean it. I just tried like some worn slippers which were totally no grooved and flat, on a toilet that was just washed.... WET.


DAMN. I nearly understeered into the gravel trap yo!

LOL if this was a reference to a cat litterbox you're getting +repped :D
 
F1 Drivers
Be nice on the radio in 2009. From now on, everyone will be able to hear you. Let's not have any more Juan-Pablo moments broadcast on the world TV feed; as in "F***ing Raikkonen!" (Though the plan to make all radio traffic available might go the same way as the televised driver briefings we were going to have...and never got).

Um, am I the only one here that wants to see real emotion from these guys? The more the press intrude, the more they have to restrain themselves and the more boring they seem to be because they have to double check everything they say. Not a good thing while racing.

And televised driver briefings? Who the hell ever wanted that? I'm glad that didn't go through. Driver briefings are boring as shit, even if you're a driver.
 
And televised driver briefings? Who the hell ever wanted that? I'm glad that didn't go through. Driver briefings are boring as shit, even if you're a driver.

You wouldn't have to watch it though if you didn't want to. I'm sure a lot of people would have been interested.
 
Michael Schumacher
Look, if Lance Armstrong can come out of retirement to ride the Tour de France...
Oh, I wish...

Yup...


*on the radio* preparing to overtake [inset driver name] !

*flicks switch to adjust angle of wing*

*presses GO GO BABY button* - extra 80hp swells up the car

*engine roars louder*

*driver looks at overtaken driver*

*radioes* COWA BUNGA MUTHA FUCKA !

:mrgreen:
 
Yup...


*on the radio* preparing to overtake [inset driver name] !

*flicks switch to adjust angle of wing*

*presses GO GO BABY button* - extra 80hp swells up the car

*engine roars louder*

*driver looks at overtaken driver*

*radioes* COWA BUNGA MUTHA FUCKA !


;)

Not quite actually, KERS will not bring that much of an advantage. Also what's stopping other driver from pressing the same button?
 
Also what's stopping other driver from pressing the same button?

- The RED car wont have it,
- The BMW will electrocute the driver everytime he presses it,

so that leaves us with one more top team and the rest of the midfields to the backmarkers.


Hmm. ;)<_<
 
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