"Open Letter To The Guy Who Stole My 11 Year-Old Piece-Of-Junk Car"

argatoga

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http://www.burbia.com/node/1337 said:
Open Letter To The Guy Who Stole My 11 Year-Old Piece-Of-Junk Car

Dear Sir:

I don't know what attracted you to my car from the hundreds surrounding it in the Long Island Railroad commuter parking lot. Maybe it was the glimmer of metallic silver popping out from beneath the flaking bits of black paint. Perhaps it was the large piece of electrical tape covering the thin strip of what used to be plastic between the driver-side front and rear doors.
Whatever it was, something about my 1993 4-door Honda Civic with the deep dent above the left wheel well called out to you. You needed it, so you took it.
And that's okay. I'm sure I maintained my dignity walking around the parking lot trying to look like I knew where I left my car for over half an hour. When I finally realized it had left the premises without me, I became concerned because, as I'm sure you've realized by now, the car has some -- well, let's just call them "quirks" -- that you, as new owner of the piece-of-crap car, will have to deal with.
For starters, the head gasket blew just last week. Now I'm no mechanic, but, as I've been told, that's the reason why the temperature gauge shoots past the "H" and you get that nice hissing sound when you turn off the engine after a particularly hot ride. It costs about $1,100 to fix, but shop around. Maybe I was just getting hosed.
Oh, and you can't just put the key in and start the car (not that you have a key). You see, the gear lock sticks for some inexplicable reason -- alright, I never had it checked -- so you need to stick the key (or whatever you're using) in the gear release to shift out of park.
I'm sure that all of this means nothing to you because you probably just took it to some chop shop for the valuable decade-old Honda parts - assuming, of course, that the shop was local enough for you to make it without overheating.
If you do find yourself stuck on the side of the road, dig through the glove compartment -- I think my current AAA card is still in there. Maybe they can tow you the rest of the way.
So, in closing, enjoy your new possession, which I understand is now legally 9/10ths yours, and may it provide you with the cash to hold you over until you work up the nerve to steal a nice car.
I would, however, like my CDs back.
Sincerely yours,
Anthony Savona
Long Island, NY
:lol:
 

argatoga

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Top Geek

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Parts and labour for replacing a head gasket on a four-banger should cost around $500.
 

blazer

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haha im looking around that craigslist site, some of them are absolute top drawer!
 

thedguy

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Sounds similar to my way of ridding myself of horrible cars.

I used to have a pile of crap 1989 Toyota Tercel. We finally just took the plates off of it, popped the vin plates off, and abandoned it on the side of the freeway. It's the state of California's problem now.

edit: I lied about the vin plates.
 
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Viper007Bond

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Sounds similar to my way of ridding myself of horrible cars.

I used to have a pile of crap 1989 Toyota Tercel. We finally just took the plates off of it, popped the vin plates off, and abandoned it on the side of the freeway. It's he state of California's problem now.
Ah, how nice. The California tax payers must love you.
 

thedguy

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Ah, how nice. The California tax payers must love you.

Hey! I paid enough in taxes and useless fucking ticket fines to pay for the tow truck that hauled that thing off.

edit: Given their hatred of old (smoggy) cars they were probably glad to take it away.

In all seriousness, I did send a couple of friend to retrieve it but it was gone before they could get it.
 
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Made In the USA

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selfish prick
 

KaJuN

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When my Disco dies I finally admit defeat, I want to get it up to Lake Erie, load it onto a small barge, point it at Canada and send it off. In the windshield will be a big sign reading "Thanks for the cold fronts! This is payback." :p
 

Zuhaib

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Sounds similar to my way of ridding myself of horrible cars.

I used to have a pile of crap 1989 Toyota Tercel. We finally just took the plates off of it, popped the vin plates off, and abandoned it on the side of the freeway. It's he state of California's problem now.

:blowup:

I should send you a bill behalf of CA tax payers!
 

argatoga

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When my Disco dies I finally admit defeat, I want to get it up to Lake Erie, load it onto a small barge, point it at Canada and send it off. In the windshield will be a big sign reading "Thanks for the cold fronts! This is payback." :p

For a second I thought you were going to give it a viking funeral.:p
 

JipJopJones

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I might be being stupid... but what is a nissan Skirmish Buggy?
 

thedguy

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I might be being stupid... but what is a nissan Skirmish Buggy?

It's actually a Nissan Sentra. I call it that because it's the chosen vehicle to go do battle when we don't want to risk harm to any other car in the house (i.e. it's the beater). We also have a tradition in my family of naming reliable, but otherwise junk vehicles, after some kind of war time vehicle (battle wagon and battle cruiser were a couple of others).
 

tigger

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... and abandoned it on the side of the freeway. It's the state of California's problem now.
:lmao: When my brothers Mazda pickup shot a rod through the block on the interstate outside of Topeka, Kansas, we just left it there. Took the plates, battery and anything of value inside it. Then we left the door unlocked and keys in the ignition. We got a letter a week or two later saying it had been towed, but never any fine. That still makes me laugh :D.
 
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