Hm, turns out I haven't made a post about my newest rental adventures. Those that frequent the hellpit also known as IRC have more than once heard me moan and complain about it though.
The Captur was a size bigger than what my employer was paying for, so it was only temporary, until they had something in my class again. So on dec 3, they took away the Captur and presented me with the new rental....
A... wait for it... Opel Corsa 1.2. Because the 1.4 was clearly far too dangerous for me to handle with its gigantic 100hp engine, they saw fit to provide me with the 83hp strong 1.2l engine, which was hopefully closer to my capabilities as a driver.
Let's start of with the good.
The throttle response is far better than the 1.4's. The engine is eager to respond to inputs from the driver.
There. That's taken care of.
The bad then. After that initial response, nothing happens. You know that feeling when you have the gearbox in 4th, you're doing 90kph, you've got your foot buried in the carpet, yet due to a slight incline (we're talking highway onramp material here) the car won't accelerate? No? Well, thanks to the Corsa, I do. The engine is PA-THE-TIC. Even though it repsonds eagerly to your inputs, it has nothing to respond with. If you're stuck behind a lorry and want to quickly get back to cruising speed, get ready to drop it to 3rd gear, because nothing will happen in 5th or 4th.
Then there is the consumption. A small, slow engine might be almost acceptable if it at least is economical. Well, are you of luck. Not only does GM Europe see fit to fit the most pathetic engine I have ever encountered (which says a lot, coming from a guy whose first car was a 45PS VW Polo), but the amount of fuel it needs to deliver that staggering lack of performance is downright criminal. I slagged the 1.4 in the Corsa for needing too much fuel for too little performance. This is even worse. It doesn't move, at all, even when prodded with a burning stick teeming with pissed off fire ants and terminally ticked-off scorpions, yet it feels fit to need almost 7l/100km for fucking highway driving. That means getting to 120kph and staying there.
Then there's the rest. Where the previous Corsa felt like a blast from the past, it at least made up for it with some nice creature comforts. Creature comforts which this one lacks, apart from the climate control. Gone are the heated seats and steering wheel that roasted your backside and heated only the parts of the steering wheel you don't use. Gone are the automatic wipers that get confused by sunlight, and require 10 full seconds to realise "oh shit, it doesn't rain in tunnels". Gone, too, are the automatic headlights that were even slower to react to changing conditions than the wipers. Also gone are the headlights that turn with the steering with their wonky wiring that made the left one work only once in every 4 days, and turned itself off in left turns to turn itself back on when turning right. None of these fantastic features. Instead, you get wipers that feature the most useless interval ever, because it's too slow, even in dry conditions. Fantastic, working, non-swiveling reflector headlights that are a true blast from the past with their H4-type lighting patterns and performance.
Where I wondered how the hell Opel was still in business after driving the previous Corsa, I now seriously doubt the sanity of every single person who has ever willing bought an Opel product. Seriously. How can you make cars as shitty as this and still find idiots willing to pay you large amounts of money to endure such a torture willingly. It is beyond me. If I never have to experience anything made by GM ever again, it's too soon.
Seriously Opel, go fuck yourself.
so far I haven't found the wing mirrors lacking.
