I know a lot of what you said is opinion, but some things I can refute with Facts!
There are many more words in the English language than the French language. Wiki suggests 600,000, this link
here suggests many more. The French language has less than 100,000 words. So if you were of a third nationality and wanted to be fluent, on paper French is easier. Plus I have found that it is more the case that English needs 3 words for French's 1 rather than vice versa.
Furthermore the French grammar system is - at least in theory - less complex than English. English is a language full of irregulars and minirules and exceptions. French, less so. Somewhere around here I have a CIA published list of how difficult languages are for beginners to learn. English is, I believe, a 3 or a 4, whilst French is a 2. Where 1 is easiest and 5 is hardest. Russian is a 4, I believe Arabic or Chinese were at 5 (although I am not sure I remember right on that bit; just English, Russian and French stuck in my head).
The French have had more military victories than you give them credit for. They ruled fair chunks of England for a while, and with Napoleon had a fair chunk of Europe in it's grasp. Until his defeat, yes. They also, despite many invasions, have the largest European country in terms of landmass (excluding Russia).
Waitwaitwait. Since when did the Irish hate the Scots and vice versa? I thought - due to both Celtic connections (as in descended from the Celts, not the football!) and mutual hatred of the English - they were relatively pally.