Poem about Cars and speed

[xmurrx]

In my english class we got an assingment to write a poem about anthing we wanted but it had to be 15 lines and have on example of a simile, a metaphor, and personification. I thought this was the worst assingment in the world. While i was procrastinating and watching top gear instead of doing my assingment, it hit me, i sould write a poem about cars. So after coming up with a poem right off the top of my head, i am impressed with the results. I got a 90 on it. So i thought i would share it here.

?Speed?

The key is turned, gas begins to burn
The pistons start to pump, the wheels begin to turn
The driver drops the clutch
The car needs that soft touch
The tires screech as smoke appears
The driver gets his ultimate fear
The car speeds away like a fighter jet
The speed poses a huge threat
A corner comes up, the breaks get hit
The tiers scream to find their grip
The brake rotors glow
To make the car slow
At the exit of the corner the car get loose
The suspension takes heavy abuse
The cars exhaust is a lion?s roar
The experience is anything but a bore

p.s. sorry if this is in the wrong section i did not know to put this here or in off-topic

 

[shad_68]

12 of 15 lines begin with "the", and you got 90% for it? Really?

 

[SirEdward]

I can see why he got a high note. The work is done with passion, it shows attention to detail, it's creative, imaginative, it surprises you with some good ideas, it's not ordinary (I don't think many students write poems about cars), it brings the reader something. So I agree witht the evaluation. It's an encouragement.

On the other hand: yes, there is a serious lot of work to do: from "breaks" (brakes) and "tiers" (tyres) to some overly-abused metaphors, from the stumbling metric to a serious sense of repetitiveness.

If you enjoyed writing this, keep on writing!

 

[LeMans GTR]

In my english class we got an assingment to write a poem about anthing we wanted but it had to be 15 lines and have on example of a simile, a metaphor, and personification. I thought this was the worst assingment in the world. While i was procrastinating and watching top gear instead of doing my assingment, it hit me, i sould write a poem about cars. So after coming up with a poem right off the top of my head, i am impressed with the results. I got a 90 on it. So i thought i would share it here.

Hold up, you're assignment was just to write a 15 line poem? I envy you...my Polar Coordinate assignment and Poetry Analysis is making me cringe. Not to mention my upcoming EEI.

Anyways your poem does remind me a little of

BMW's It's only a car