Portal 2 [Contains spoilers, you've been warned!]

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:lmao:
 
My first thoughts... (as is often the case, I intended to write one or two things and ended up with an essay.) I finished the game in two goes this morning, because I got stuck at one point.

There's not a huge amount ruined. Well, the end is, and other important stuff. In fact I'd say most of it is ruined. Don't read this if you don't want it ruined, that's my advice.

Wheatley grew on me. I was very unsure about him when I saw the trailers... I'm still not sold on him, and I completed the game this morning. Steve Merchant's voice acting is very expressive and entertaining, but he's not exactly stretching himself with the type of character Wheatley is. That's not a huge criticism. You can't blame Valve for going for someone who can do that character reliably, and you can't blame Merchant for taking a good gig, but there are points where the character seems too ready-made. They could have taken lines from Extras and turns of phrase he's used on the Ricky Gervais Show to construct the dialogue, that's what I mean. Lazy's not the right word to use but it springs to mind.

Nor am I quite sold on the constant testing. I think what Valve are getting at is that Aperture Science is the least well-run company on the planet, and their products never make it to market, instead just going through a perpetual process of testing and retesting for no good reason. And that's why GLaDOS 'loves to test', and why Wheatley gets an itch when he doesn't test - it's part of the mainframe's programming that testing is the be-all and end-all of the company. I'd say that's meeting Valve more than halfway though (if I'm at all correct), because there aren't very many clues to this, and for that reason I think the testing seems futile for long stretches. Similarly, I don't think it's especially clear why Wheatley comes to wake you up and escape with you at the start of the game. He makes mention of power running out, I think... and everyone else being dead, so presumably Chell's his only hope. Still, I don't think the initial motivation to go forward is clear enough.

The puzzles are tremendous though, some instantly obvious and others getting you to that point where you're just about to give up... but still need to complete it! The moments of clarity at which you figure out the answer and everything clicks into place are as satisfying as in the first game, if not more so, given the increased complexity provided by the new items.

Although the gels worked better in Tag, they would never have worked if you'd had a separate paint gun in Portal 2. It would have ruined the elegance and focus of having a single item in your hands (weapon's the wrong word there). I think the use of pipes to deploy the gels complements the portal mechanic well. They did lead to the one moment where I got stuck and gave up for half an hour though, when you're given the white gel that creates portal-friendly surfaces, and you need to get onto a ledge to continue. The only method I could see to complete it was a series of increasingly fast flings, but they were haphazard and it seemed to be a matter of chance whether I made it to the ledge in question. Valve said that they wanted to avoid puzzles where you knew the answer but had trouble actually performing the actions required. For the most part I think they did that, but on this bit I don't, and it really pissed me off.

The writing, as before, is very funny and sharp. With Wheatley being a motormouth, and playing it on a second run, I'm taking the opportunity to stand still and do nothing when he tells me to do something, just to see what dialogue he might come out with to further urge me on. He's got some very funny, well-delivered lines.

I was worried when I saw all of the potato bring your daughter to work day stuff, because I don't like wackiness and the potato sack had me worried. GLaDOS being turned into one worried me further, but it did lead to the nice bit where you come across her in a nest. I got used to it, and it was certainly an interesting way of getting you to team up with her.

The old facilities were beautifully designed and gave me one of the bits that made me laugh out loud - when you get a colossal metal door to slowly open... revealing a normal wall, with a normal-sized door at the bottom. Brilliant! I liked the different designs through the decades, particularly the Fifties. It proved that not only Bioshock and Fallout can take advantage of the past for comedy. And it proved that you can be just as funny doing it for 30 minutes as you can basing an entire game on it. (Nothing against Bioshock or Fallout, those games are good and the design is superb, but I liked seeing it for just half an hour before finding myself in the Seventies, surrounded by beige.)

The stuff about Caroline/GLaDOS/Cave Johnson/Chell... I don't know. Not sure I care given that it's impossible to work out. People seem to be all over Steam trying to figure out what the history of this lot is, whether Bring Your Daughter To Work Day was where Cave Johnson and Caroline left their infant daughter Chell in the facility, whether GLaDOS is Caroline's digitised brain... frankly, either Valve deliberately gave us bugger all to work with in the interests of keeping it vague, which makes them dicks because it's impossible, or they did a shitty job providing us with enough clues to figure it out, which is just poor writing. (On playing it a second time, it makes much more sense, given that I'm tuned into little lines of dialogue that I didn't pay any attention to at first. Still, I would say that playing the game once left me confused about it all, and while I'm not asking to be spoon-fed, to place enough emphasis on such a plot point but not go all the way to divulging what it actually is, is poor.)

When Wheatley took over and made the disfigured turret/boxes... eeeurgh. I shivered so much. They were so creepy. They helped the atmosphere a lot but man they made me shiver. I just wanted to euthanise them. You know in films when the experimented-upon half-human half-something else weakly mutters, 'Kill me'? I felt so sorry for them.

I should have felt sorry for Wheatley too. He wasn't a bad egg, it was the system that corrupted him. I'd feel drunk with power too if I could move walls. But he'll be perfectly happy in space.

Talking of which, that was such a great ending. Balls-out insane, and I loved it. Valve could have gone for something like the first game, just making sense. Nah, let's fucking portal to the Moon. So bombastic.

Seeing the rooms from Portal again was wonderful. It was rather like in Portal when you break out and see a few rooms again, from the perspective of someone who shouldn't be there. You could see it coming a mile off, but it didn't make it any less exciting. Your first experience of them being back in the relaxation chamber was an especially nice touch. I also adored the very opening where you're told to look at art and go back to sleep. And then Wheatley asks you to talk and gets confused when you jump. A superb opening to the game.

All the cinematic bits... yep, they were all good. I liked the bit where you escape from GLaDOS and she offers the final room to you. I immediately went in expecting to die, and did. Dooi!

I also love the fact that Portal's probably the only hugely popular and successful FPS where nobody talks about the graphics. Sure, they're good, but everyone talks story, writing, gameplay. That's exactly the way it should be. All Crysis has going for it is graphics, because the rest is a sack of balls, and this proves it.

I probably have heaps more to say but I'm going to eat chicken wings and pizza now.
 
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Currently...

I'm trying to work out what the fuck to do in the factory once you've blown up the template turret. Stephen Merchant ain't much help either. :lol:
 
Oh, another thing.

Good song at the end too. Not as good as Still Alive, but good. The idea's fantastic, that a story's antagonist is just giving up and doesn't want you around any more because you cause trouble. I pissed myself at the lines, 'Go make some new disaster/That's what I'm counting on/You're someone else's problem'.

Nice pizza too.
 
Matt2000:

look around, do you see anything bright red?
 
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I won't know until I play again tomorrow but thanks for the hint.
Only red thing around at the moment is the light on my keyboard, it looks worryingly like the light on a turret.
 
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K, so I'z stuck on one part of this level in chapter 8 and I'm wondering if i could get some asseeeestaaance.

Will take screenies and post under spoilers.

Edit: Never fucking mind I figured it out. I'm just an idiot

Edit2: Beat the game! :D
 
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This has to be one of the few games to live up to hype. The entire thing by valve, the ARG, the clues, was... brilliant.
 
This is why I now consider myself an idiot for pre-ordering it at GameStop instead of on Steam (Sisters were buying games for themselves, figured I'd take the opportunity to pre-order), as I won't be able to pick it up until later today, or Thursday.

That, and it turns out I get charged full price.

To quote the Heavy: "STOOPID STOOPID STOOPID!"
 
ok i could use some help here. i'm planning on getting Portal 2 since i loved the first one. However i can't for the life of me decide which version to get. I wouldn't mind the PC version since that one would be graphically superior. But i usually prefer console version since i get to play with a game pad and well, my usual gaming method is that of a console.
 
ok i could use some help here. i'm planning on getting Portal 2 since i loved the first one. However i can't for the life of me decide which version to get. I wouldn't mind the PC version since that one would be graphically superior. But i usually prefer console version since i get to play with a game pad and well, my usual gaming method is that of a console.

PS3 version comes with a free PC copy. Don't get the 360 version -- you can't co-op cross platform. :(

I don't understand the appeal of using a tiny joystick in what is essentially a FPS though. So much less accuracy.
 
Currently...

I'm trying to work out what the fuck to do in the factory once you've blown up the template turret. Stephen Merchant ain't much help either. :lol:

catch one of the broken turrets and place it there. And scan yourself for achievement
 
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