But the issue is, they’re not that smart, I worry I am burning the clutch on my work Golf Alltrack when slowing rolling such as rolling into the automatic car wash that pulls you along, or backing up.
You have a wet-clutch DSG, right? It isn't an issue in those, that's what the regular fluid and filter changes are for. Volkswagen decided to reinvent the automatic. If you can't put it in D and drive normally without things breaking, that's VW:s fault and not yours. Besides, you're not footing the repair bill so why do you care?
The dry-clutch dsg found mated to the smaller engines is a different thing altogether. They don't creep nearly as nicely as the wet-clutch boxes, and that's partly because they're programmed to keep clutch wear to a minimum. As far as I know you can make them lose drive and throw an error on the trip computer if you "abuse" them by doing things like backing up with a heavy trailer, etc.
So I was driving about today on one of my automatic cars when I came to ponder something. In the olden days, automatic transmissions needed ATF because they were essentially mechanical computers with hideously complex patterns that needed precise and predictable fluid dynamics to function. But they have computers now and don't need those anymore, so why don't we make them simpler, closer to manuals, and then they can be as reliable as a dumb manual transmissions and not need unicorn tear ATF.
It is at this moment that I realized that I had invented the DCT
The car industry tried their best to replace the slushmatic. "Robotized manuals" used to be a thing and they can be found in Smart cars, various Opels, Toyotas, Peugeots and Citroens and Mercedes Sprinters and that's just off of the top of my head and not counting the exotics. I guess they wanted to give (mainly) European customers an option that would rob less power and fuel than the automatics available at the time.
What you got was fuel economy like in a manual, but you also got slow gearshifts and dim-witted behavior. What you didn't get was that smooth slushmatic creep that's so nice when you just want to roll forward another car length or two.
DCT:s have been a thing for a long time now and they do shift as good or better as normal automatics while on the move, but they're not simpler and certainly not less prone to failure. They might not use ATF, but they do have their own special kind of unicorn tears that need changed every 60.000 kilometers or so. There are lesser "maintenance free" DCT:s like the dry-clutch DSG I mentioned above but that only really means that it'll need an expensive and complicated clutch replacement at some point, and that they won't be as comfortable or as quick-shifting as the better DCT's even when they're working as they should.
Have you ever been in a robo-matic Peugeot that decided to shift gear while taking a roundabout at speed? I have. You lose drive for a second which shifts the entire weight of the car to the outer front wheel, and as a passenger you're wondering wtf is going on until you realize what car you're in.