• The development of any software program, including, but not limited to, training a machine learning or artificial intelligence (AI) system, is prohibited using the contents and materials on this website.

Roman ever tried this? Turkey Parachuting

pdanev

Forum Addict
Joined
Oct 4, 2004
Messages
5,645
http://meltingclocktimes.com/turkeyparachuting.htm
:lol: :bangin:

turkeyparachutist1.JPG

turkeyparachutist2.JPG

gettingreadytojump.JPG

jumpingoutplane.JPG


Breaking Turkey News! Friday, November 18, 2005!
New Sport Craze: Live Turkey Parachuting!

A new sport is sweeping the nation. Skydivers are jumping out of planes without parachutes. They are attaching themselves to a string of live turkeys. Apparently the turkeys go nuts and flap their wings and act as a parachute. And with live turkeys going for less than a dollar a pound it costs a lot less than a parachute which can cost over a thousand bucks.
?Turkey parachuting is really opening the plane door for a lot of skydivers who normally would be put off by the high price of parachutes,? says skydiving instructor Nebold Einacracker. ?Since turkeys are cheaper than parachutes we offer lower prices now for skydiving lessons and jumps. People also like jumping from a plane using natural live turkeys, not an artificial petroleum based parachute.?

A few turkeys have freaked out and had heart attacks, died and plopped down to earth. ?But turkey parachuting is very safe? added Eincracker. ?If you string up 20 turkeys there is a very small chance that they will all freak out and not flap their wings.?

?Turkey parachuting only has one disadvantage over traditional parachuting,? explained turkey jumping enthusiast Jabbo Yokinhowl. ?Jumping out of a plane at 10,000 feet scares the shit out of the turkeys. So I usually wear an old rain jacket.?

The United States Military as well as skydiving sports enthusiasts are raving about turkey parachuting. According to US Army General Curtus Ebenezzer McPeacock, ?We will be using turkey parachutes in the US military by mid 2006. Turkeys will be a vital strategic implement in future combat operatives. Often times when enemies shoot down planes the pilot and crew parachute to safety and end up in remote areas. It can be weeks before rescue crews find the soldiers. Turkey parachutes can give downed air crews the added advantage of providing thanksgiving meals while they wait for rescue personnel. If air crews are downed in cold climates they can also sleep with the turkeys for warmth. Although the US Military does not condone sex with turkeys, or with any animals, we plan on implementing a, 'No ask, no tell' policy for extreme situations.?

But not everyone is happy about turkey parachuting. Elvid Dohocker, a PETA spokesman who specializes in turkey rights said, ?This outrageous new sport is cruel and an endangerment to the lives of these beautiful turkeys. How dare they force turkeys to jump out of airplanes! Would you force your child or pet dog to jump out of an airplane? We are especially appalled by the US military's plan to force turkeys into combat. Turkeys are a peace loving animal. We are lobbying congress to prevent the military's use of turkeys and to outlaw the terrible sport of turkey parachuting.?

According to economist Dr. Kazut Yaddolboid, who tracks the poultry industry for the Rand Corporation, ?With the growing popularity of turkey parachuting and the military utilizing turkeys we will probably see a healthy stimulus in the poultry sector of the economy. However, there may be a downside to this. By next Thanksgiving you can expect the price of turkeys to go up by as much as 50%.?

:lol:
 
Re: Roman ever tried this? Turkey Parachuting

pdanev said:
A few turkeys have freaked out and had heart attacks, died and plopped down to earth. ?But turkey parachuting is very safe? added Eincracker. ?If you string up 20 turkeys there is a very small chance that they will all freak out and not flap their wings.?

:lol:

....and how much is that :|

:lol: :lol: :lol:
 
I want to see evidence :D (Can't see the pics :( )

Where did you find that Bullsh*t??
 
:lmao: Too funny.
 
?Jumping out of a plane at 10,000 feet scares the shit out of the turkeys. So I usually wear an old rain jacket.?

:lmao:

but that must be bullshit, just can't be true


and i heard if you drop a chichen out of a plane, it falls down to earth, and at about 50m it starts flapping like hell and lands safely
what i heard...
 
^ So the question really is then what smells worse, chicken or turkey shit? :lol:
 
^ :lmao:
 
hahahah Roman you know it's the best time to do it, before Christmas the turkeys haven't been killed yet :p
 
:shock:

Oh my good God.

:lol:
This is all so wrong in so many ways. :bangin:

I do hope none of you believes any of this sh*t, right.

:lol:

Who thinks of inventing such stupid things ?! :lol:


I'll keep my canopy, thank you. 8)
 
Roman said:
I do hope none of you believes any of this sh*t, right.
Same here. It almost sounded like a couple of people who posted above actually thought it was real! :lol: Noobs.
 
duh.. people who thought it was real are really stupid and never heard of photoshop
 
LOL, funny stuff ... would be funny if they actually convince a couple of idiots to actually try that.
Jumping out of a plane with turkeys sounds interesting though, I'd be interested in what the birds will do, they can't fly, but would they flap their wings and for how much ?? :think: Would be even more interesting if I can convince someone to jump with me and the turkeys... Roman, what do you say ? Care for a little experiment ? ( not that any dropzone would let you bring turkeys in their plane with you, let alone drop them from the sky on someone's house ... but who knows I might get lucky :lol: )
 
lol, sadly chickens do not land safely no matter how much flapping they do. A local radio DJ tossed one off a parking garage to test this theory, it died and the station got sued by eco-mentalists.
 
Roman said:
Renesis said:
/me bets that Roman is posting this link on all his skydiving forums :lol:
You're free to check, link to my home DZ under
icon_www.gif
.
I honestly thought about it and then decided it was way too stupid to post.

:? it was just a joke..

damn you seem uptight lately Roman..
 
Top