Here, have a vacuum cleaner to clean the sand out of your vagina. It's even called the Dirt Devil, to put ya in the holiday spirit!
But do you participate with your family on All Saints day and All Souls day? I know you are devoutly Catholic, and Catholics that I know treat (no pun intended) halloween like Fat Tuesday before the coming of Lent. Commercialized or not, it is a day for people to let loose.
Dude, it's Halloween. It's the one time of year you can can dress up and not feel like a complete moron. It's also a good excuse to eat shit tons of candy and get plastered.