Something that women rarely understand about men, or at least Kevin Smith and I.

MattD1zzl3

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I was listening to SModcast the other day and kevin smith was talking about something that really resonated with me, that women seem to be baffled by.

As we all know women almost always desire neat and clean men, dont smell bad, brush your teeth, get a haircut, wear matching colors, facial hair is rarely desirable, at least put forward a tangible effort to look neat and nice. In my relationship this extends into sexual attraction, i'm apparently physically more attractive when wearing nice clothing. (Which baffles me, i'm sort of in the frame of mind "But i'm the same person", but it makes sense.)

On the other hand, men like me, (and silent bob) seem to find women the most attractive first thing in the morning, when there is no makeup (if women wear it), hair isnt "done", hell, dont even bother to brush your teeth i just wanna get bu-isy :). Dont get me wrong, i've been knocked on my ass by my girlfriend entering the room in a little black dress looking nice as much as the next guy, but for pure, primal sexual attractiveness, the frumpy, "First thing in the morning" look really resonates with me. A pair of comfortable pyjamas turns me on as much or more than a tight-fitting cocktail dress.

So i think this poses several interesting questions. Am i crazy? Do you guys feel this way? Are all women as confused by this as my girl is, and does it make all that effort seem counterproductive (It shouldnt, for one thing it still looks very nice, for the other we know that looking nice is as much for you as it is for us, if not more so). Thank you for reading, and discuss. :)
 
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ryosuke

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i don't get makeup either, it looks disgusting more often than not. and expensive haircuts often look just ridiculous, as do elaborate dresses. i don't get the whole business, girls are better without any of it, guys too.
 

eizbaer

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On the other hand, men like me, (and silent bob) seem to find women the most attractive first thing in the morning, when there is no makeup (if women wear it), hair isnt "done", hell, dont even bother to brush your teeth i just wanna get bu-isy :). Dont get me wrong, i've been knocked on my ass by my girlfriend entering the room in a little black dress looking nice as much as the next guy, but for pure, primal sexual attractiveness, the frumpy, "First thing in the morning" look really resonates with me. A pair of comfortable pyjamas turns me on as much or more than a tight-fitting cocktail dress.

So i think this poses several interesting questions. Am i crazy? Do you guys feel this way? Are all women as confused by this as my girl is, and does it make all that effort seem counterproductive (It shouldnt, for one thing it still looks very nice, for the other we know that looking nice is as much for you as it is for us, if not more so). Thank you for reading, and discuss. :)
if you're crazy, then i am too :p so yeah, put me into that same bag.
i think a big part of the problem is that somehow girls don't feel all the work they put into looking nice is being appreciated, when we like them just as much in their pyjamas and 'morning hair' etc...

i don't get makeup either, it looks disgusting more often than not. and expensive haircuts often look just ridiculous, as do elaborate dresses. i don't get the whole business, girls are better without any of it, guys too.
i prefer girls who don't wear any makeup, too. or at least as little as possible, so you don't really see it's there.
elaborate (inside reasonable borders!) dresses can look great, but most of the time: the simpler the better ;)
 

spicysaurus

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You're sort of talking about different things here. We like when you boys get dressed up, but we like you in your shorts too. I can't imagine that anybody really likes poor personal hygiene: someone who smells and/or tastes bad is not very appealing.

What you're saying about "don't brush your teeth, let's just get busy" has more to do with the level of desire rather than the level of hygiene. It's the idea that "I'm so hot for you I can't even wait the 5 minutes it would take to brush my teeth to get naked together".

And I would say, from everyone's standpoint, someone in clothing that fits them well and shows off their best features will generally look good. There's also an element of "making an effort" which is very important in a long-term relationship. It's a lot about not taking for granted that your partner desires you and ensuring that you're inspiring desire in them rather than expecting it.

So imagine this: would you think your girl was attractive if you and she went out to dinner and then a party and she wore sweats and didn't brush her teeth or her hair, or would you rather she were clean and in decent clothing, maybe even a nice dress? Conversely, if you were going to bed and she came out of the bathroom with her hair up, wearing heels and a teddy, would you rather she were in her old ratty PJs?

Keep in mind, though, like I said: we do like you boys in your shorts. There's something very sexy about waking up next to your man and having nothing between the two of you but your underwear (and maybe not even that). And I greatly prefer a boy with his hair clean and messy vs. all full of product and hard to the touch.

Incidentally, this thread may be better suited to the NSFW section. I can see this going places that aren't appropriate in the general forum (with me leading the way, as usual). :)
 

2Billion

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I don't get excessive makeup, or some of the bizarre things women do - plucked eyebrows, eaaagh! - but I'm not on the extreme where first thing in the morning is best either, and sometimes makeup can enhance if smartly applied. Pyjamas are the biggest turnoff in the world for me, makes even the sexiest lady look bovine - robes can be pretty awesome though. Women look better in well chosen clothes which look good on their body, even if it's not fancy per se. A well chosen sweater is honestly the sexiest article of clothing on a girl I think.

Of course, I don't put much effort into my personal appearance at all. I'm of the "if you can't see my nipples or genitals, I've done my job" school of dressing. So I'm a hypocrite.
 
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ryosuke

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So imagine this: would you think your girl was attractive if you and she went out to dinner and then a party and she wore sweats and didn't brush her teeth or her hair, or would you rather she were clean and in decent clothing, maybe even a nice dress? Conversely, if you were going to bed and she came out of the bathroom with her hair up, wearing heels and a teddy, would you rather she were in her old ratty PJs?
brushed teeth and a shower are really the only thing that kind of matters. coming out of the bathroom in heels would be amusing at best. i don't get heels, lingerie or anything like that. simple pants and regular footwear can't really be beaten by any of the elaborate stuff. actually i hate it. hygiene is nice but i don't take dressing up serious. thats not what i would understand for making an effort.
 

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I'm with You. Women in the morning with their messy hair and all natural are the most beautiful sight. :)
 

wooflepoof

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I think that for a lot of women makeup is a self esteem thing. If you feel pretty, you're likely to be more confident and extroverted and (at least in theory) be more like-able and approachable, among other things.
 

MattD1zzl3

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I'm with You. Women in the morning with their messy hair and all natural are the most beautiful sight. :)
This was really more my point than "I like bad hygiene".

But i tell her this and shes like "You're crazy", almost developing to the point where "I dont quite believe you, and the compliment doesn't work as a result". I brushed it off until i heard the smodcast yesterday, and he says the same thing! Im not crazy! ;)
 
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Interrobang

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Are all women as confused[...]
yes.

But so are we men, just in other ways. It?s perhaps easiest to simplify this down to all women trying to live up to being a princess/or modern equivalent of that ... and men try to live up to being the knight ... the hero. Never wrong, never weak ... also not healthy and "sane", but in a totally different way ...
There?s this famous quote about men being from Mars and Women being from venus ... wich is bullshit. Men try to be Martians because they think that?s what they should be ... and Women try to be Ven... uh ... beings from venus because they think that?s what they should be. But we?re actually all from earth, trying to be something we?re not ... wich is pretty sad when you think about it.
 

ryosuke

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I think that for a lot of women makeup is a self esteem thing. If you feel pretty, you're likely to be more confident and extroverted and (at least in theory) be more like-able and approachable, among other things.
i understand that, but what i do not understand is why so many of them make a huge effort only to become less pretty in the process... ;)
 

2Billion

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i understand that, but what i do not understand is why so many of them make a huge effort only to become less pretty in the process... ;)
Remember not everyone thinks they're less pretty.
 

flydiscovery

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i understand that, but what i do not understand is why so many of them make a huge effort only to become less pretty in the process... ;)
Because they have been told by their mothers their entire life if they don't "put a little effort in" that "no man" will ever be interested.
 

Jay

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I believe the other reason is that women dress up to show off to other women, much like men and cars.
 

Cobol74

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I'd go with Jay on that too.

But there is a fundamental point that men need the physical to feel loved (depends how you girls do that bit - with me I needed something and was not getting it then figured out why I was having some odd feelings after 7 years of marriage, intellectualised it and got over it) but wife's need the spiritual and relational to feel loved. Wanting to share themselves with their partners is actually a much more intellectual journey than for a bloke. Well that is how I have been treating the Mrs for the last 25 years (oh and I am a abject coward too - well with her - so if she wants something she gets it usually).
 

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Because they have been told by their mothers their entire life if they don't "put a little effort in" that "no man" will ever be interested.
But some put a litte bit too much effort in it. It's like with cars. You can't have too much torque because it will just spin your wheels.

I also listened to this smodcast and I think he has a point with this. Sometimes less is more. Not less hygiene but less fanciness. I don't like those girls all dressed up as they're about to walk the streets. BUT at least most of those girls finally grow into it and take less for good when they grow older. I really think this is more a problem of age because young girls are doing this (using a shovel for putting their makeup) more often than grownup women. And I'm also with Jay on the fact that they want to be the prettiest one is the pond, that they stand out of the crowd but as I just said most of them fail by putting too much effort into it.
I like my girl not fancied up with but with just a litte bit of makeup, a nice bit of a decollete and no high heels
 

MattD1zzl3

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There is no such thing as too much torque. Soften the suspension and buy wider, softer wheels with less tread :)
 

Richmondgal

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I don't like wearing makeup, but only when there it's a special occasion. Anytime else, I just brush my hair and that's it. Everyone else insists on making cake faces of themselves for school, which is pointless because you're not going anywhere else other than school. And besides, why do you want to impress boys at school when you should be doing work?

Yeah, I don't get my own gender either.
 

MattD1zzl3

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If thats like, a parts shuttle for a racing team it would be awesome. Its still tacky and horrible, but there are certain situations when that is ok, and its a GULF LIVERY!
 
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