Stig Introduction Competition

Some say he's a national icon in France, and that if you lick him, he'll make you hallucinate. All we know is hes called the stig!

OR

Some say he spawned from the tears of environmentalists, and that every time he clocks a lap, an angel gets his Ferrari. All we know is hes called the stig!
 
Some say, only squirrels can hear him speak and that his skin will last for a thousand years... All we know is, he's called The STIG!

Some say that he was the reason the Titanic sank, and that he is the love child of Damon Hill and Mother Teresa... All we know is, he's called The STIG!
 
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Some say he ate Top Gear Dog, and if you get close to him you can hear her scrabbling about inside ..... all we know is he's called the Stig!

Some say that if you say his name three times, he'll come and kill you in your dreams - or that he's befuddled by books .... all we know is he's called the Stig Stig Stig :p
 
Some say...if he could be bothered, he can solves a 5x5x5 Rubik's cube in 43 seconds................all we know is he's called the Stig!
 
Some say that in London he has to pay the congestion charge, for breathing, and that enviromentalists burst into flames at the sight of him....

Some say that he runs on Mac OS 10.5 and that Bill Gates once tried to copy him, but ended up with Michael Schumacher (MS haha)...

...All we know is, hes called the STIG!!
 
Some say that he is considered a WMD by the CIA, and if you took off his helmet, the resulting explosion would take out half of Chelsea...

...All we know is, hes called the STIG!!
 
Some say that there are photos of him on the internet that reveal his hoof and that if you throw pennies into him your wish will come true.

Some say he's composed of 90% hydrogen and 10% helium - others say those people are likely confusing him with Jupiter.

Some say that he appeared in over 150 films during the silent era and that he holds the world record for dwarf tossing.

Some say that he's photosynthetic and that his likeness once appeared on a tortilla.

Some say that each month he is provided with two comely lasses of virtue true and that he steals most of his material from Conan O'Brien.

Some say he knows the Colonel's secret recipe and that if he ever sneezes it will destroy the universe.

Some say he's an expert at origami and that he once shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.
 
Some say that he once outdragged a muscle car in a Mercedes-Benz truck... and that he has attempted to run over all the Parliaments of the world in the Caparo T1 after visiting Romania. All we know is... (cue Jezza here)
 
Some say he is to Chuck Norris what kryptonite is to Superman, others say he IS both. All we know is, he's called The Stig.
 
Some say his teeth is whiter than Richard Hammond's

and that his hair is longer than James May's

All we know is, he's called THE STIG!
 
Some say he's an escaped Russian experiment....and he can detect sonar...

Some say Jedi mind tricks won't work on him...and he's the last of a mysterious human subspecies..

Some say that he could drift the earth itself... and that his helmet can be used in exorcisms.. but all we know is, he's called The Stig!
 
Some say that he is the secret lover of James... And that they got a kid called Top Gear dog... all we know is, he's called The Stig!
 
Some say that he is the ruler of Stigbadia, and that he can type with his racing gloves on... all we know is that he's called Strong Stig!
https://pic.armedcats.net/2007/12/26/stigemail.jpg
https://pic.armedcats.net/2007/12/26/stigemail2.jpg

(for those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, go to http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail.html and waste an hour or so)
 
Some say that his feet have their own odometer, and that his dreams have a rating of 1.2 g. All we know is, blah blah!
 
Some say the women are all wild for him and that he's good in bed...

(Next intro) Some say he's on the run for owing millions in child support, and that if not stopped, his children will crowd every racetrack for years on end. All we know is...
 
First post :D

Some say that he is distantly relatated to a trout... and if he sees the letter Q, he will implode... All we know is... He's called the stig
 
Some say he wears size 20 cotton knickers,,,, and that he was born during a handbrake turn... All we know is he's called the stig.
 
Some say that instead of a .... he has a USB cable, and that if you plug him into the internet he will automatically set the fastest lap times on all racing games in the world, simultaneously... all we know is...
 
Some say that the numbers scrolling down his view represent telemetry data from all 22 cars on the F1 grid at the same time, and that everything he touches with bare skin turns into carbon fibre. All we know is... he's called the Stig!
 
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