Stupid Driver Stories

the Interceptor

I LUV MY PRIUS!!!
Joined
Feb 22, 2005
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6,041
Location
ze Vaterland
Car(s)
VW Diesel of Death
Had a nice one yesterday. I was going from work to my parent's house, which is 50 km sharp, with 45 of them on a three lane Autobahn. "Nice!", I thought, "I can give the old girl a good fast run.". Or so I thought...

While warming up the engine on the first few meters of Autobahn, I was passed by a number of cars on the fast lane. The last one was a Dutchman in some kind of minivan thingy, possibly a Skoda Roomster or something. Then, I spotted an Opel Zafira OPC (240 hp) coming onto the 'bahn and obiously not fooling around: he positioned himself at the end of the left-lane-convoy right away. I, having my car warmed up nicely, then got behind him (with a perfectly fine distance I might add, I was not tailgating or anything) to wait for the fast lane to clear and give it some stick.

All cars of the convoy then did clear the left lane ... except the Dutchman, who just stayed there. The Zafira behind him was clearly waiting for him to make way, but he just didn't, ignoring the huge gaps on the middle and the right lane. Then, the Zafira guy decided to let me have a go and moved over for me to clear the road. I then closed up and followed the Dutchman for some time, observing whether I had overlooked somebody in front of him or overestimated the gaps he could jump in. But I hadn't. At times, it seemed to me that he was at the limit of what his car was able to give, so he thought we would be, too.

On the next free bit, I shortly turned up my high beams to kindly signal that I'd like to pass - nothing! In my mirror, I still spotted the Zafira waiting behind me in the middle lane, at a proper distance I might add, for the road to clear. Then, I saw a pair of headlights quickly apporaching from the back: a Nissan 350Z. Obviously, he also wanted past. Thankfully, this guy also had some sense, immediately seeing that I am being held up as well and thus not tailgating me. After a minute or so, I thought I'd let him have a go at the still-blocking Dutchman.

So I pulled over to the middle lane in a huge gap and let the 350Z past - an invitation he didn't refuse. So he positioned himself behind the Dutchman to make him free the fast lane - to no avail. I meanwhile got behind the 350Z, still having the carefully observing Zafira behind me. Then, after 25 km of following the ignorant lanehugger, he finally decided to make way and change into the middle lane. He did that at a stupid moment though, since the gap he got into basically was eliminated when not too far in front of him, someone pulled from the right to the middle lane. The Dutchman had to brake hard, since the 350Z, the Zafira and I already had taken the opportunity to finally fly by.

Still, I couldn't feel sorry for the guy, since he brought that onto himself by not using the boat-load of opportunities to get out of the way he had had earlier. Also, I found our triple team to be epic: no tailgating, proper respect and perfect teamwork of three guys who never had met before and never even exchanged a glance.
 

MacGuffin

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DONOR
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Mar 29, 2008
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8,294
Location
Wilhelmshaven, Germany
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'17 Ford Mustang GT Fastback
That story sounds familiar, experienced it many times. First the idiot blocks the left lane for an eternity and then chooses the wrongest moment imaginable to pull over to the right.

I even have such a guy on one of my videos of my car reviews - but didn't put it online, because I forgot the open mic and shouted a bit ;)
 

FleeceLINER

Active Member
Joined
Jun 5, 2009
Messages
444
Location
Irvine, CA
Oh fuck. I got harassed by a douche in a bright red Lexus SC430 today on the freeway.

The feg with his autobox luxo-cruiser cut across three lanes and slowed to 40 mph in front of me. I flashed my blinkers, and he pulled away. Then he came back, half-in my lane. The feg waved to me. Yes, I would've raced him. No, I wouldn't have won. The road had no curves, all straightaways - and my generic Avalon wouldn't have survived. So, I do what large sedans do best - Barrel on ahead.

Fool thinks he can drive with a LEXUS. Sure, you'd win a boat-race, but how about competing on land?
 

prizrak

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Apr 2, 2007
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No, sleep, till, BROOKLYN
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11 Xterra Pro-4x, 12 'stang GT
Oh fuck. I got harassed by a douche in a bright red Lexus SC430 today on the freeway.

The feg with his autobox luxo-cruiser cut across three lanes and slowed to 40 mph in front of me. I flashed my blinkers, and he pulled away. Then he came back, half-in my lane. The feg waved to me. Yes, I would've raced him. No, I wouldn't have won. The road had no curves, all straightaways - and my generic Avalon wouldn't have survived. So, I do what large sedans do best - Barrel on ahead.

Fool thinks he can drive with a LEXUS. Sure, you'd win a boat-race, but how about competing on land?
It's "fag" just pointing it out :p

Got one myself I was getting onto a highway behind some dumb bitch who was going entirely too slow so as soon as we hit the part of the on ramp that allows me to merge onto the actual highway I punch it. The retard tries to merge in right into me (no blinker or anything either) I got nowhere to go cuz on the other side there is an ambulette van thing. One of those small buses kinda like an ambulance car but to drive old/disabled people to doctors. So I honk at her (on ramp is really long there btw) so she gets all pissy and starts honking her horn at me. I was tempted to slow down and block her dumbass on the on ramp to force her to try and merge into moving traffic from a stand still but I had better things to do so went on my way. She proceeded to go like 40 in a 50...
 
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Clegko

Well-Known Member
Joined
Oct 8, 2007
Messages
1,655
Location
Gaithersburg, MD
Car(s)
2016 Chevy Colorado, 1968 Mercury Monterey
Just a couple from yesterday.

First, I was attempting to merge onto the highway behind a geriatric driver. She STOPS at the end of the very short on ramp, and waits for the largest gap ever to merge over. Needless to say, by the time I found an opening, I was very pissed off and ended up burning most of the rubber off of my back tires while attempting to get up to highway speed in about 5 feet. I hate old drivers.

Second, I was cruizing down the highway in the far left lane, going faster than everyone else, when some cockbag pulls out in front of me and procedes to go only 50. I have to slam on my brakes to avoid rear-ending him, and I can't get around him because everyone else was now passing us. I hate slow left lane hogs/vigilante drivers.
 

katwalk

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Apr 1, 2008
Messages
10,342
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2003 VW Beetle, 2017 Abarth Fiat 500c
Wayyyy too many people stop at the end of the ramp here, people go about 70 on the highways and my car has an 11 second 0-60 time. It is not very fun.
 

katwalk

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Apr 1, 2008
Messages
10,342
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2003 VW Beetle, 2017 Abarth Fiat 500c
Pack a jet engine in thar.
Not only do you go fast, you melt the cars behind you!
When I have money I will do a buy the beetle turbo kit, which will give me 280 bhp. :lol:
Unfortunately I will need to also do a manual transmission swap, because crappy slushbox will break appart from the powwweeerrrrrr.
 

Paco

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Joined
Jun 12, 2007
Messages
843
Location
Pittsburgh, PA
Car(s)
MKV VW R32
Here is a crap intersection leading into a shopping plaza.

Yesterday, I was at the front of the leftmost lane of the two turning lanes turning left on a green arrow. People turning right have a yield sign, but nobody ever slows down or looks out for traffic if they don't see a stream of cars going through making them stop completely.

The light turns green and I head through the intersection into the left lane. I can see a lady with GIGANTIC sunglasses in a minivan in the right turning lane at the same time. The guy in the rightmost turning lane is going pretty slowly so he's about a carlength behind me when the woman in the minivan breezes through the yield sign and sweeps across two lanes with no turn signal to cut me off in the leftmost lane. I had to hit my breaks and gave her a horn blow and a flash of lights for her to even know I was there. I could see her in her mirror saying "OH MY GAWD!!" like a dumbfounded ditz when she realized she almost had a crash. If I hadn't slowed down when I saw her getting ready to turn right, correctly assuming she was going to jump across two lanes despite our lanes having the right of way, she would have plowed right into me.

This intersection is terribly designed because they wanted to snarl traffic heading into the plaza and make the hill less steep. So you have these meandering, uphill S curves with people changing lanes without checking around them. And they use them at every shopping plaza around here, so it's the same deal every time you head out to the shops.


We also have the largest retaining wall east of the Mississippi. But we won't for long because the construction company didn't set the ground properly so the whole area is failing to the point where all of the stores can no longer be built except for the one restauraunt at the front they already finished. My city was built by retards...
 

thevictor390

Teen Wankeler
Joined
Mar 9, 2007
Messages
11,892
Location
Massachusetts
Car(s)
'17 Mazda MX-5 RF, '89 Toyota Blizzard SX5
Wayyyy too many people stop at the end of the ramp here, people go about 70 on the highways and my car has an 11 second 0-60 time. It is not very fun.
It is because of people like this that I learned that my car makes a noise near max RPM to warn me to shift up. Except I have an auto.

Route 2 is especially evil for those of us in the wimpy 4-banger club. And there's a section of 146 that has STOP SIGNS at the top of on-ramps...
 

katwalk

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Apr 1, 2008
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2003 VW Beetle, 2017 Abarth Fiat 500c
It is because of people like this that I learned that my car makes a noise near max RPM to warn me to shift up. Except I have an auto.

Route 2 is especially evil for those of us in the wimpy 4-banger club. And there's a section of 146 that has STOP SIGNS at the top of on-ramps...
mine will start at about 4k RPM, that is also, as I discovered when the torque kicks in. I thankfully CAN shift it so once it hits that torque spot I shove it into sports mode and it will go for me.
 

prizrak

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Apr 2, 2007
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No, sleep, till, BROOKLYN
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11 Xterra Pro-4x, 12 'stang GT
mine will start at about 4k RPM, that is also, as I discovered when the torque kicks in. I thankfully CAN shift it so once it hits that torque spot I shove it into sports mode and it will go for me.
You can just have it in sport mode to begin with it won't really upshift till redline if you got the hammer down.

On separate note a 1.8 N/A bug having a sport mode is somewhat funny.

Saw a woman parallel parking today in a minivan. She goes backwards onto the curb and unlike "normal" drivers who would just pull forward of the curb to straighten out (she had plenty of space for that) she kept going backwards. With the curb no longer being able to warn her she backed right into a sign post left a nice dent in the bumper. Laughed my arse off.
 

KaJuN

Disco Inferno
Joined
Jul 31, 2006
Messages
9,745
Location
Dayton, Ohio
Car(s)
Mini Cooper S, Landy Series III, Vulcan 900 Custom
My level of respect for Skylines and their drivers has just plummeted because my little Swift was almost taken out by that dynamic duo of dumb. I was pulling up to a red light with two lanes on my side, both of which continued forward through the intersection. The Skyline was in the left most lane and had two cars in front. I was flying solo in the right lane. The light was red as we were all coming up to it so it was obvious we would have to stop. Apparently the idiot in the Skyline didn't want to be behind two cars at a red light so he suddenly cut over into my lane literally inches away from my bumper. If I hadn't been paying attention and slammed on the brakes as soon as I saw his car twitch over we would have swapped paint.

Then once the light turned green he drove away at the speed limit while the cars he just had to get around sped on ahead of him. I hate people.
 

Buffy_09

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 23, 2009
Messages
2,251
Location
Limerick, Ireland
Technically not driving as such, but basically this one in Rathfarnham Shopping Centre is just a fine example of how NOT to park.



Her defense is that she thought the car was in reverse but it was in 4th and she gunned it...:rolleyes:


 

hajj

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Mar 29, 2005
Messages
2,952
Location
Hamburg
In 4th? From a standstill? No the engine should stall! Also reverse is at the top left in an A4.
 

Buffy_09

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Jan 23, 2009
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2,251
Location
Limerick, Ireland
In 4th? From a standstill? No the engine should stall! Also reverse is at the top left in an A4.
Note the :rolleyes: for the sorry excuse for an excuse...

That's what she said in the paper about it anyway. I'm guessing that means it's an Automatic?
 

hajj

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Joined
Mar 29, 2005
Messages
2,952
Location
Hamburg
That could make a bit more sense, but that A4 automatic should not have a selection for 4th gear which would be overridden anyway. Lame excuse in the end. :rolleyes:
 
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