Stupid Driver Stories

argatoga

Can't Start His Wank
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Seattle
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Quick, name some stupid things people do while driving?

Talking on the phone?
Texting?
Shaving?
Putting on makeup?
Eating?

Try scrapbooking. Yes, fucking scrapbooking!
For those of you who don't know this, scrapbooking is a quaint little hobby that involves the adult application of pre-school cut-and-paste skills to make ornate and pointless picture albums.

I was sitting at a stop light and looked over to see some woman in a Ford minivan with her two crotch-droppings strapped in the back seat. She was using serrated scissors and cutting up construction paper so it would have a frilly edge and be all pretty or something.
"Well," I said to myself, "that's a new one. At least no one is possibly dumb enough to drive around with scissors between their chest and the explosive airbag that can deploy at speeds 320 kph, which would probably impale you nicely on your own shears."
But she did. Driving a minivan with her loin-spawn in the back, weaving around while trying to use both hands to cut paper. It took me about a block to fully come to grips with my newly decreased faith in humanity - and since this is me, you can imagine how little I had before - finally I just lay on the horn until she decided that arts and crafts hour should not be done while driving.

I swear, it's a good thing I don't own a gun.

... oh wait.
Did you piss off a witch doctor at some point of your life? Shity drivers seem to be attracted to you. At least this scrapbooker didn't run you over.
 

bone

"bangle for president"
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i've had a few times - you'd figure i would learn, but no :) - that i'm driving along, and suddenly a car or lorry is standing still in front of me, so i indicate, and pass him...and just when i'm about to pass, they turn the wheel and turn into a sidestreet, driveway, whatever.

i've been lucky though, each time i've managed to escape a colision
- once i managed to drive up a driveway and come to a hold before i hit the house
- once there was a wide seperate cycling-trail where i could manouve my car in
- and once the sidestreet arrived on a very wide angle, and i managed to also turn into the street (opposite direction, but no traffic comming)

writing it down makes you think though, my mood kinda changed from the ":)" i used in the beginning of the post :|
 

NooDle

Ik ben niet alleen lekker met kaas!
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except the car in front still needs them.

What we need is a system that uses something like GPS to automatically track idiots and warn nearby drivers.
Do what I do. Just automatically assume that EVERYONE is an idiot who's trying to kill you... then adjust your driving style accordingly
 

katwalk

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he lives in MA. You have to do that here or you will be dead.
 

brydie76

Viva Las Clarksonistas!
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Mental note to the drivers of Newcastle- there's been this new-fangled invention on your cars for some time now- they're called indicators. You see, they are used to let other people know when you are going around a corner/into another lane so they don't smash into you.

I seriously saw all of this stuff happening within 20 minutes today:
- somebody thinking they didn't have to indicate if they merged into another lane right when the old lane ended/the new lane began. They indicated every other time, just not then.
- not indicating into a driveway which was downhill, just suddenly braking and nearly causing a 20-car pileup
- people thinking that because their lane obviously had the turning direction on it, they didn't have turn their indicator on to tell other too, because that would be overkill
- people forgetting to cancel their indicators ater merging/turning when the indicator didn't auto-off and driving along merrily for minutes with their indicator blinking.

I'm surrounded (mostly) by idiots :(
 

EyeMWing

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Many things, none of them working.
Eh. I don't indicate to move into a lane that just starting, or to move out of a lane that is clearly marked as ending (unless there's plenty of traffic), and I won't signal when I'm in a non-ambiguous left turn lane (unless I creep into the intersection to wait for an opening)

I also don't indicate AT ALL when there's no traffic to interfere with.

In other words, if there's no chance of my interfering with other traffic, or it should be DAMN CLEAR to anyone who has any business driving what I'm doing, I'm not going to put any wear on the bulbs.
 

DarkReaper

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Eh. I don't indicate to move into a lane that just starting, or to move out of a lane that is clearly marked as ending (unless there's plenty of traffic), and I won't signal when I'm in a non-ambiguous left turn lane (unless I creep into the intersection to wait for an opening)

I also don't indicate AT ALL when there's no traffic to interfere with.

In other words, if there's no chance of my interfering with other traffic, or it should be DAMN CLEAR to anyone who has any business driving what I'm doing, I'm not going to put any wear on the bulbs.
Same here, I just can't stand leaving the indicator on while standing on the left turn only lane. The clicking annoys me too much. Always turn it on before I start moving though.
 

Interrobang

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Rant coming up!

What I really can?t stand are people who indicate when it?s too late. Changing lane on the motorway ... they have already changed the lane with 80% of their car and THEN tip the indicator once. Alibi-indicating I call it because they want to be able to tell the cops "but i did indicate" in the case they do get pulled over. They don?t get at all what indicating is about (or don?t care- wich is even worse)
[...]I'm not going to put any wear on the bulbs.
[...]The clicking annoys me too much.
:blink:

I always joke around with friends that people who don?t indicate have such stupid reasons for not doing it. I never thought I?d actually come across people who actually think that way. My other Joke-theory is that a lot of people seem to be awfully paranoid about letting other people know where they?ll be steering their cars in the next 10 seconds like they are constandly chased by the FBI. Anyone here like to confirm that as well?

Indicating is communication. It?s pretty much the only communication device available with other drivers apart from emergency-signals like flashing your lights and using your horn. If you don?t indicate propperly and on time, you are not communicating with the other drivers. I?ve been in plenty very dangerous situations at high speeds that could easily have killed me because some Jerk didn?t want to put any wear on the bulbs or doesn?t like the clicking. I always indicate, and indicate as early as it makes sense as a form of communication. Even on an empty road at 4 in the morning. It?s become an automatism for me, like putting on a seatbelt, using the clutch-pedal, turning on the lights when it?s dark or turning your head to look for others in your mirrors dead spots. If I forget to do any of those, i will be in big trouble and not indicating propperly does that as well. I have no sympathy for people who don?t communicate while driving around, generating quite some scary Momentum of wich you basically don?t know what those Nm are going to do the next second. You are not alone on the roads. You are not a lone wolf in the woods. If you don?t want to cause accidents you have to communicate about what you are about to do with your car. COMMUNICATE!!!! It?s as easy as putting a little lever up or down ...
 

Interrobang

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Yesturdays highlight:

A traffic light turned yellow right before me. I could have theoretically stopped if I would have really stepped on the brake with full force but didn?t (also because I didn?t want the driver right behind me to smash into me). The driver behind me, did slow down to stop. The driver behind him (a white Sprinter-van), pulled onto the oncoming lane, stepped on the gas and overtook the car that was behind me to rush the light.
If that would have been seen by a cop, he would have been fined for speeding (he was than behind me and come closer extremley quick - I?m guessing he was up to 80 were 50 were allowed), running a red light, crossing the solid white lines in the area of a junction and (prop) for reckless driving. And it only took him 2 or 3 seconds to break all these laws. I wonder how many offences he adds up in a day ...
 

NooDle

Ik ben niet alleen lekker met kaas!
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new one : just slam the car in the left lane. No indicating, no "well I'll speed up so I can merge here", no smooth merge in, just yank steering wheel and go infront of me, causing me to stomp on the brakes.
Continue at 100 kph in the left lane for a few km, then do the same move in reverse

wat?
 

Doctor Blade

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How about no. There are plenty of dangerous roads in this country that are not lit and you NEED highbeams. Every time I visit my cousins in northern NH on the trip down we go down a highway that is pitch black unlit, with sheer drops on the side.
Do you remember to dim them when oncoming traffic is coming by? I haven't met many people who recall they're supposed to do that. I've got plenty of exciting country roads here, and I mange them fine with moonlight, headlights, and careful driving. If it's raining, I can still manage without highbeams.
 

prizrak

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Rant coming up!

What I really can?t stand are people who indicate when it?s too late. Changing lane on the motorway ... they have already changed the lane with 80% of their car and THEN tip the indicator once. Alibi-indicating I call it because they want to be able to tell the cops "but i did indicate" in the case they do get pulled over. They don?t get at all what indicating is about (or don?t care- wich is even worse):blink:

I always joke around with friends that people who don?t indicate have such stupid reasons for not doing it. I never thought I?d actually come across people who actually think that way. My other Joke-theory is that a lot of people seem to be awfully paranoid about letting other people know where they?ll be steering their cars in the next 10 seconds like they are constandly chased by the FBI. Anyone here like to confirm that as well?

Indicating is communication. It?s pretty much the only communication device available with other drivers apart from emergency-signals like flashing your lights and using your horn. If you don?t indicate propperly and on time, you are not communicating with the other drivers. I?ve been in plenty very dangerous situations at high speeds that could easily have killed me because some Jerk didn?t want to put any wear on the bulbs or doesn?t like the clicking. I always indicate, and indicate as early as it makes sense as a form of communication. Even on an empty road at 4 in the morning. It?s become an automatism for me, like putting on a seatbelt, using the clutch-pedal, turning on the lights when it?s dark or turning your head to look for others in your mirrors dead spots. If I forget to do any of those, i will be in big trouble and not indicating propperly does that as well. I have no sympathy for people who don?t communicate while driving around, generating quite some scary Momentum of wich you basically don?t know what those Nm are going to do the next second. You are not alone on the roads. You are not a lone wolf in the woods. If you don?t want to cause accidents you have to communicate about what you are about to do with your car. COMMUNICATE!!!! It?s as easy as putting a little lever up or down ...
I agree with everything you said. To add to that I hate when people double park and don't turn on their hazards. It's fine if you need to double park to run into your house to get something or drop someone off or pick someone up, I understand that this is a big city and w/o your own driveway there are too many situations that don't warrant a half hour looking for parking. However I DON'T understand why you can't turn on the hazards to tell others that you are stopped and are not going to move.

As a corollary to it why in the world do people go 5mph to double park? Obviously I'm not expecting anyone to slam on the brakes from 30-0 all of a sudden but what is the problem with slowing down gradually a few feet away from your intended spot?
Do you remember to dim them when oncoming traffic is coming by? I haven't met many people who recall they're supposed to do that. I've got plenty of exciting country roads here, and I mange them fine with moonlight, headlights, and careful driving. If it's raining, I can still manage without highbeams.
Always do actually.
 

SirEdward

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Do you remember to dim them when oncoming traffic is coming by? I haven't met many people who recall they're supposed to do that.
Easy; flash yours, even annoyingly if it's needed, and slow down a bit. The other car WILL notice. If you have xenon highbeam, the thing is way more effective.

I've got plenty of exciting country roads here, and I mange them fine with moonlight, headlights, and careful driving. If it's raining, I can still manage without highbeams.
Every road is manageable without highbeams, IF you go slow enough. But if you want to (and you are allowed to) go faster, highbeams are necessary.

-------------------------

On blinkers: I have developed an automatism with indicators, it is triggered by other cars. I indicate everything I do when I am in traffic or where there are many cars around me or when I don't know if there is someone else in the blind spot.

So, when I can actually see that I have no vehicle behind or beside me or when I am way faster than them (aka, they won't be reaching the area behind my car in time even if they should hit the metal), then my indicators stay off.

But, my indicators turn back on fully functional when I want to communicate something to some car in front, like "I am overtaking you", "I am turning right so you can merge in because our two ways are not colliding", "don't even try to take that last precious free parking space, I saw it and turned my indicator on before you did" or "I want to turn left and you are going right but you still occupy the leftmost lane, so get the heck out of the way, ".
 

Buktu

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I can't stand people who don't indicate. It seriously is a minimum of effort, and if you're not able to do that, you shouldn't be driving. Because you're basically a selfish ass.

For me, it's really rooted deep within me to indicate every time I have to. I can barely make myself change lanes without indicating, even if it is at 4am, with no cars anywhere near. I just feel like I'm doing something wrong, the same feeling I get if I run a red light at 4am with no other cars around.

It's ridiculous to drive into a turning lane, and not indicate.. Untill you're in the middle of the intersection, THEN you start.. Why the hell not just put them on when you're supposed to? It makes life easier for all the rest of us.
 

bone

"bangle for president"
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I can't stand people who don't indicate. It seriously is a minimum of effort, and if you're not able to do that, you shouldn't be driving. Because you're basically a selfish ass.
i'm the first one to agree, behind the wheel i am an ass!

i am driving and all the others need to get out of my way!
 

Clegko

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It's ridiculous to drive into a turning lane, and not indicate.. Untill you're in the middle of the intersection, THEN you start.. Why the hell not just put them on when you're supposed to? It makes life easier for all the rest of us.
Why should I indicate in a lane that is marked "Turn Only"? Really, the only thing I could legally be doing is turning, there is no need to blind the poor chap behind me with my blinker.
 

thevictor390

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I pay very close attention to people in turn-only lanes with no indicators, because more often than not they just plow on straight. A better question is why shouldn't you indicate. No one is going to be 'blinded' by a turn signal. More communication is never a bad thing.

Besides, it's not always clear from other sides of the intersection that your lane is turn-only.
 
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