The best ever Clarkson,Hammond and May Quotes

[Blind_Io]

JM: I can multitask.
JC: You can multitask.
JM:Yeah.
JC: Yeah, I've seen you, putting your make-up on.
JM: Yep.
RH: And driving.
JC: And driving.
JM: I've seen you multitask and driving.
RH: No, you can't talk about that on telly!
JC: And that's not in the highway code....I mean 'wank'.
RH: It doesn't say anything about wanking in your Lambo?
JC: Sometimes on a long voyage there's nothing else to do. *fake yawns*
RH: To pass the time. 'Should I have a coffee or...?' *cracks up* We may have got slightly sidetracked there, sorry.
JM: Yeah, but the people who wrote the highway code thing, the ones who say 'if you feel tired pull off at the motorway services'--
JC: Pull off! *cracks up*

What episode was that one again?

 

[Labcoatguy]

What episode was that one again?

That was the very first news uncut...S10E01. Sounds like somebody hasn't been rewatching his old episodes enough.

Actual clip here: [YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZML7OTl-N54[/YOUTUBE]

 

[robybobey]

I couldn't stop laughing at the filming of that! .........although the high pitched scream that you can hear everytime the audience laughs is not me:lol:

 

[Dieter Cabral]

I love the one about speeding from series 10, episode 6.

Clarkson's rant about speeding "speed has never killed anyone... suddenly becoming stationary that's what gets you"

LOL!

 

[Dsemaj]

I'm extremely fond of Clarkson's Real men don't go home at 7.
But then again, May makes amazing quotes, too. Which have all been said.

If he?d wanted to impress them he should have abandoned the show, gone home, sold his heartwarming story to OK! magazine, and spent the next six weeks watching Love Actually with his cat.

:lol: Great stuff!

 

[Dieter Cabral]

LOL

LOL

Actually if you're mentioning the Prius the best one there was "Look left, look right, look left, listen, walk, wonder as you go through the windscreen why the hell you never heard it coming".

That really is the best

 

[ladora]

I love the one about speeding from series 10, episode 6.

Clarkson's rant about speeding "speed has never killed anyone... suddenly becoming stationary that's what gets you"

LOL!

You got that the other way around, it's series 6, episode 10!

 

[Autobahn]

Loved this little snippet from one of the news segments on hydrogen cars, after talking about how close it is to becoming a reality:
JC: "And if you're watching this in Saudi Arabia..." *points at the camera and laughs*

And from the London to Oslo race:
JC: "Tallest race on earth now, the Dutch. Mind you, they DO take a lot of drugs. Hello little dutchies" *waves to the camera* - short pause - *waves to the camera with the most hilarious face pose*

 

[leviathan]

The tractor challenge, 09x05:

RH: "...we wanna get the plowing done well, not quickly. Which is why I have brought this!"
*the mammoth tractor appears*
JM: "That's a bloody tank, you idiot!"
*pause*
RH: "It didn't look that big on my computer, to be honest!"

 

[Archie411]

Loved this little snippet from one of the news segments on hydrogen cars, after talking about how close it is to becoming a reality:
JC: "And if you're watching this in Saudi Arabia..." *points at the camera and laughs*

To be honest i didnt get that part of the joke
Can someone explain it to me?

It seems that I have gone a bit think

 

[ladora]

To be honest i didnt get that part of the joke
Can someone explain it to me?

It seems that I have gone a bit think

Saudi Arabia is rich in oil. If hydrogen cars go big, there'll be no more need for their oil...

 

[Pippin]

From series 11, episode 2:

JM: Actually, I have been tossed by a squirrel like that at...

RH: I'm sorry?

JM: I mean head-butted. Not tossed. Head-butted.

JC: (laughing) Not tossed.

JM: That is the technical expression.

RH: I wouldn't be surprised if one of your clubs offered squirrel-tossing.

 

[capra]

I couldn't stop laughing at the filming of that! .........although the high pitched scream that you can hear everytime the audience laughs is not me:lol:

You're sure?

Ah, who am I kidding, if I had been there, it might have been me!

 

[capra]

From series 11, episode 2:

JM: Actually, I have been tossed by a squirrel like that at...

RH: I'm sorry?

JM: I mean head-butted. Not tossed. Head-butted.

JC: (laughing) Not tossed.

JM: That is the technical expression.

RH: I wouldn't be surprised if one of your clubs offered squirrel-tossing.

I love the look on James' face when he realized what he had just said. :lol:

 

[Sovereign001]

Jeremy: My name... is Jack Bauer. And this is the most economical 24 hours of my life.
hahaha!

 

[Soup?]

Loved this little snippet from one of the news segments on hydrogen cars, after talking about how close it is to becoming a reality:
JC: "And if you're watching this in Saudi Arabia..." *points at the camera and laughs*

JM: "It's back to carpets for you"

Marvellous!

 

[Rhitick]

Personal favs

James: And now for the news, and this week it's been officialy announced that Jeremy Clarkson is an ass.

Jeremy: LooooOOOOOooOOseeeEEEr

Just the way he says it is hilarious

 

[Maarre]

In the American Roadtrip episode when Jeremy is talking about his car:

"Dent on the roof...that was caused by a cow"

:lol: I love it!

oh, and of course the classic:

James: Do you know what to do with it?
Jeremy: Well, we got to-
Richard: Peel it?
*laughter*
Richard: I'm not peeling that!
*more laughter*

 

[Origin]

JC: "You never forget how to sew...."
*starts sewing*
Camera cuts to RH and JM at the Espace
JC: "Oh, DAMN and BLAST!"
RH: "What? What've ya done..?"
JC: "I've sewn myself to the machine...."
*everyone starts laughing*

 

[iam-nobody]

I wonder if he learned to sew making Paddington Bear for his mums firm.