The best ever Clarkson,Hammond and May Quotes

Buffy_09

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Christ, you aren't a Provo are you?

Seriously that pic is from the V8 Blender segment and I'm pretty sure he's actually saying it in that pic.

Well ACTUALLY that was one of Jezza's faces when James was trying to stop his face from turning inside out :p

I do like it though! :)
 

gaasc

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JM: Hammond, have you seen THIS
RH: oooooohhhhhhhhh oohh it's a Zonda

just cracks me up every time

from when they showed the titbon Zonda
 

Cobol74

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At this rate, you would not be allowed to call an idiot who's Scottish and one-eyed a "one-eyed Scottish idiot".

Jeremy, in the latest column on TG.com
http://www.topgear.com/uk/jeremy-clarkson/clarkson-system-2009-10-08
The best bit. ...

"Just last week, while filming for Top Gear, the car I was testing suffered a terrible accident. I won't say more than this because you won't have seen it yet and I don't want to spoil the surprise. Whatever, to have continued with the filming would have been stupid. There were jagged bits of metal everywhere and a worrying smell of fuel. Every health and safety man in the land would have ordered me to step away from the vehicle and go home.

But if I'd done that, the shoot would have been over, and thousands of pounds of licence payers' cash would have been wasted. So in I got and off I set... into a world populated only by pain and lashings of blood. I could sue. But I'm not going to. It's not the way of the gentleman. It's not the way of Top Gear either.

And if anyone wishes to call me the worst word in the world, feel free. I am to be found in my paddock teaching my 10-year-old daughter how to do a hand-brake turn in her ?50 Ford Fiesta."
 

47

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going back in time: yes, I ment 'hole', typo! :D

another one from the same ep

JM: She's effectively saying 'You've given me the baby, now get in the back'
*Jeremy bursts into laughter*
JM: NO!!

I didn't get it at first but it's a great line! :D
 

flydiscovery

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going back in time: yes, I ment 'hole', typo! :D

another one from the same ep

JM: She's effectively saying 'You've given me the baby, now get in the back'
*Jeremy bursts into laughter*
JM: NO!!

I didn't get it at first but it's a great line! :D

I don't know how much they rehearse the news, but the evolution of the expression on Jeremy's face in that scene is positively priceless. I've rewound to watch it several times. He goes from this very lackadasical "oh James made a funny, I'll chuckle" to this look of shock and uncontrollable laughter with "holy shit I can't believe James made THAT joke and now I can't stop laughing" as everything seems to sink in. I love it.
 
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ozgirl

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lv2xlr8

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:lmao: Gets me everytime!

JC: The gear leaver has gone up my ass.
JM: After the gear leaver had been removed from Jeremy's bottom, we moved onto the next challenge.
 

ozgirl

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SchumacherM

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Can someone help me? I can't remeber in which episode there was a bit in the news, where James talks about a new front engined Ferrari and says that it's the first ever Ferrari with something and Clarkson cuts in with the ''Ferrari owners club'' voice ?

I can't get enough of that! :D ''Ouuhhh, you could have done that corner 0,00013 of a second faster if you had a Ferrari''
 

Davetouch

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"Just last week, while filming for Top Gear, the car I was testing suffered a terrible accident. I won't say more than this because you won't have seen it yet and I don't want to spoil the surprise.

Sorry to be weird, but what was that crash?
 

shellygrrl

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flydiscovery

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Somehow I'm thinking the crash took place while filming something for S14, not while doing something for S13. The quote Cobol posted was from Jeremy's latest column on the TG website.

Well, the articles on the website are apparently posted from the magazine several weeks after it's released. Then if you add in another few weeks for layout, publishing and printing it was probably written several weeks before the magazine came out (whenever that was). It doesn't rule your idea out of course. There's no telling how they film stuff.
 

Supreme_Being

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(From Vietnam Special)

JM: Oh cock! This is a massive 'oh cock'!
 

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one of my favourite : "what we proof here its that the slowest car is the second fastest"
 
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SchumacherM

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Can someone help me? I can't remeber in which episode there was a bit in the news, where James talks about a new front engined Ferrari and says that it's the first ever Ferrari with something and Clarkson cuts in with the ''Ferrari owners club'' voice ?

I can't get enough of that! :D ''Ouuhhh, you could have done that corner 0,00013 of a second faster if you had a Ferrari''


:rolleyes:
 
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