The best ever Clarkson,Hammond and May Quotes

HVAC25000

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Which episode is this from?

Which episode is this from?

Hello all, hope you don't mind my asking for help. Anyone know what episode this is from (may not have all the words correct, just recalling from memory)? I believed it was said during the news.

Clarkson: I wonder, do MG owners buy cars secretly hoping they'll break down?

Then he goes on to imitate an MG owner excited about getting his fingernails dirty while working on the car.

Thanks!
Chris
 

Aces High

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Hello all, hope you don't mind my asking for help. Anyone know what episode this is from (may not have all the words correct, just recalling from memory)? I believed it was said during the news.

Clarkson: I wonder, do MG owners buy cars secretly hoping they'll break down?

Then he goes on to imitate an MG owner excited about getting his fingernails dirty while working on the car.

Thanks!
Chris
17x03
 

LindenChase

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Didn't want to start a whole new thread for this video, but too good not to post. :D

 

Ilpav

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From when Jeremy tries to beat his GT4 time in real life with the NSX at Laguna Seca:

"Don't brake. Don't brake. Don't brake....MY LEG'S GOT A MIND OF ITS OWN AND IT'S BRAKING!"- Jeremy Clarkson :rofl:

I like it so much I made it my sig! :D
 

rotten94j

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fav jc:

hangin out window of focus(?) drives by screamin 'rooneeey!!' made me rofl so hard.

all time fav tg quote comes from jk:

"BECAUSE ITS A GUTLESS PIECE OF AMERICAN SH**!!!"
 

Ayman

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Stumbled upon this jewel while viewing a series 2 episode.

:jc: (On the Cayman) It's no where near as nice to drive as a Boxter .... And if you pull up at the lights next to someone in a 911, it's like going to the urinals, next to a horse!
 

neutron

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I will try to recall from my memory, this was somewhere in Series 4. They were talking about Land Rover Discovery.
Jeremy: Why would a grown-up man want to get in the third row?
Richard: Well... I have FRIENDS!
 

Eye-Q

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I just watched 16x05 and the following quote from Jeremy made me laugh really hard (in the M3 vs. RS5-test):
Around the bends it feels ... exactly the same - except of course when you eventually spin, it'll assume you'd arrived at a set of lights and cut the engine.
"Why has it done that? Nobody arrives at a set of traffic lights backwards in a cloud of tiresmoke!"
 

DaShowstoppa

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During the Caterham assembly.

Clarkson (to camera) : Any moment now, monkey and wrench over there are going to realise that they have made a cat-as-trophic cock up.


New Jaguar Concept car (with the jets)

May: And inside, you will see a giant spanner (opens the door)
Hammond: Hello!
 

clarksonjr

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james : for you mr hammond the dvd is over
james: this is a worr y i need to be home by saturday i've been invited to a beetle drive
 

QueenOfLullaby

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"I've done 'If I Were A Richman'. Any other suggestions?"
"If I where a tall man" Richie and Jezza in challenge with old cars ;D (sorry for mistakes in quotations)

"Look, I'm a Citroen!" Hammond - when guys talked about Citroen with cook's hat on its roof ;D
 

NoNeedForAChestWig

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Not strictly a Clarkson quote, but I just watched a short piece of The One Show on which he a guest tonight. On a segment about trains, he was complaining that if someone commits suicide by jumping in front of a train the train shouldn't be stopped it should carry on with the journey (to paraphrase: he's dead, you might as well carry on).

In an effort to change the subject, the female presenter says "If you do have a complaint about trains, there is a specific body you can contact."

A... body? Really? :eek:
 

MWF

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Jeremy's quotes from The One Show last night......

I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families. I mean how dare they go on strike when they have these gilt-edged pensions that are going to be guaranteed, while the rest of us have to work for a living.
I do sometimes use the train to come to London but it always stops in Reading. It's always because somebody has jumped in front of it and somebody has burst.

"You just think, why have we stopped because we've hit somebody? What's the point of stopping? It won't make them better.
While the world and his live-in lover have jumped on the anti-Jeremy bandwagon David Cameron said this morning, after saying that Clarkson has been "a bit silly" did rather seem to echo the point Jeremy was trying to make.

You?ve got to think of all the people in the private sector ? plumbers, drivers and people working in factories ? going to work, who are not going to have a pension anything like what a teacher or doctor or civil servant get, yet they are contributing to those pensions.

"We?ve got to make sure we do fairly by them as well. What we?re offering to the public sector workers I think is very fair.
 
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