The best ever Clarkson,Hammond and May Quotes

From the Jeremy's Mercedes S-class interior replace:
Jeremy: We'll try it my way first... And then we'll finish.
 
James: "But how do you know your dashboard has a period?"
Jeremy: "You know it when the navigation has a bad temper: TURN LEFT I SAID!!! LEFT!!"

And in the same show:

James: "Bad news!"
Jeremy: "What?!"
James: "the Dacia Sandero is delayed"
Jeremy:" Oh No!... so now we move on.."

One of my favourites:

Jeremy (in the 24hrs road making episode): "This is not the beginning, this is not the end, this is not the beginning of the end, .....)
 
one6 said:
The Lifetime Achievement Award (May's rant about Ken Livingston)...

JM: Ken Livingston; for deciding that if you earn a living and pay tax, and spend some of what's left on a car, and then pay value-added-tax on that, and then buy some road fund license tax to put the car on the road, and then pay fuel duty tax on the fuel, and value added tax on that fuel duty tax, you should then pay ?25 TAX to drive into the center of the capitol!

10x08 News:

After talking about Honda's Hydrogen FCX car,

JC: So if you're watching this in Saudi Arabia... time to break out your camel.
JM:It's back to carpets for you.
Click to expand...

Probally all of my favorit quotes have been already said here, but laughed so hard to those 2 when i saw the episodes first time. Especially to that
JM:It's back to carpets for you.
:lol:
 
Clarkson talking about the Dutch using an Audi engine in the Spyker C8.
"They got it up to *insert correct number* horsepower, had a bit of a SHmoke and SHlotted it in. And now, it goes like SHtink"
 
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Just rewatched 11x6... and found a really funny bit that made me laugh the first time

Richard (on the new Camaro): "...it's got a 6.2L V8, and they've given it independent suspension all around"
James: "Woowwwwwww"
 
From 11x05

Jeremy: "If anyone has any objections of what we're doing, do feel free to keep those objections to youself."
 
I Like Clarkson talking about the Ferrari Owner's Club:
"Oh, they're an adenoidal bunch of angry young men!"


And May:
"So, in the words of the ancient Philosopher Clarksonious (4th century BC); How Hard Can It Be?"
 
Clarkson: I'd rather be in this than in Keira Knightley.
May: And now the news. This just in from Keira Knightley; she says she's dissapointed but she understands.


and


Hamster: So we must move on... to the nineteen fifties. James!
May: Many car manufacturers are re-inventing their models from the past.
Clarkson: Where you live.

Great banter.
 
"permission to say cock" - you all know who :p
 
"If you are German and have any objections to what you've just seen, please do write to us at:
1966 El Alamein Square
1939-1945 Jutland Street
WE 1"
 
Mr-Vercetti said:
JM: Now for the news, now its a shame Jeremy didn't like the 350Z, i wondered if he would be interested in the 350Z watch, its a big watch with a small face on it.
Click to expand...

The Bloopers version (after Jeremy messes up the take because he barked his shin trying to get up on the stage.), of course, is:

JM: Now, for the news. Now it's been officially announced this week that Jeremy Clarkson is an arse.

******
Richard: the oversteer/understeer explanation, of course. :D

JC: [regarding the Impreza Turbo] It's a very good car, and if they don't put that in 'classic', one of them's going to be going home with that [holds aloft microphone] buried deep inside them."


***EDIT: And since both the James and Richard quotes had been posted before, i give you a bit from the Uncut news 10x01:

JM: I can multitask.
JC: You can multitask.
JM:Yeah.
JC: Yeah, I've seen you, putting your make-up on.
JM: Yep.
RH: And driving.
JC: And driving.
JM: I've seen you multitask and driving.
RH: No, you can't talk about that on telly!
JC: And that's not in the highway code....I mean 'wank'.
RH: It doesn't say anything about wanking in your Lambo?
JC: Sometimes on a long voyage there's nothing else to do. *fake yawns*
RH: To pass the time. 'Should I have a coffee or...?' *cracks up* We may have got slightly sidetracked there, sorry.
JM: Yeah, but the people who wrote the highway code thing, the ones who say 'if you feel tired pull off at the motorway services'--
JC: Pull off! *cracks up*
 
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"If I were charged with the task of selling Alfas I would offer free coffee, free money, a free Cameron Diaz, free anything I could think of to get people into the showroom. Because once they were there, behind the wheel, they?d succumb. Nothing is more certain."

Clarkson.
 
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