The best ever Clarkson,Hammond and May Quotes

I like when Jeremy starts his sentence with the words: "Now THAT is..."
And of course May's "Oh cock!" :)
 
JC: "What is that girl the hmm... Sex and The City... Sarah... Sarah Jessica... she is another one, you know she must be pretty, you know... she looks like a boiled horse!!!"
 
^ Hilarious, and very true.
 
After the screen cuts from Hammond's segment where he's about to get dropped into the water tank to the studio.
RH: ...and we'll find out later if I die.

The pre-task meet-up on the ?10,000 Italian Supercar challenge.
JC: James has bought an AA truck! He's bought-.. *laughs*
RH: At least he made it to the end of our last one of these before getting on one!

RH: You may not use the M4 itself. So we've got to go on the M4 Corridor, along the wiggly roads...
JC: Swindon... Reading...
JM: ...Maidstone...
JC: ...your sense of direction..! You mean Maidenhead.
JM: *slight pause* ...oh, yeah.
RH: *pointing at the cab of the breakdown truck* As long as he's got a sense of direction, he can get there!
 
JC - If Cameron Diaz can get her Prius to do 52 mpg ill let her sleep with me.
RH - And thats NOT the sound of Cameron Diaz reaching for her keys...
 
drummerdude89 said:
rediscovered one from the african special:

JC- Oh my god, it's on fire, but in a very specific place
JM- Maybe it's a laser?

dunno why, but that one makes me crack up
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... one of fav scenes ... as especially as Hammond and May stare at the hole, Jeremy actually looks up in the sky ...

Don?t know if it exists in english but there is a saying here, that goes something like "If you point at something and tell someone to look only a complete moron will look at the finger" ... and that so fit?s there ...

http://img100.imageshack.**/img100/8154/moronmw4.jpg
 
efoolution said:
Don?t know if it exists in english but there is a saying here, that goes something like "If you point at something and tell someone to look only a complete moron will look at the finger"
Click to expand...

I'd love to see that in German - mine's very rusty and hasn't been used for years (and my German isn't great either!!) ;)
 
This if from the Times online review of the Veyron: (yes Clarky writes as well :p) talking about driving really fast:

"Happily, stopping distances become irrelevant because you won?t see the obstacle in the first place. By the time you know it was there, you?ll have gone through the windscreen, through the Pearly Gates and be half way across God?s breakfast table."
 
In reference to the Lamborghini Reventon (pronounced Rebenton):

JC says that the car is very expensive, but "you do get a lot of badge."

Hammond catches on 5 seconds later and JC says something along the lines of "I think I got away with that."
 
Probably mentioned already, too lazy to go through 21 pages of this.

JC: A honey badger doesn't kill you to eat you, it tears off..... your testicles.
RH: IT DOES NOT!
JM: Why is it called the Honey badger?
JC: That's what's made it angry
RH: Why isn't it called the "badger of death"?
 
s12e1

In reference to Richard's car Oliver:

JC: personal plates, he's such a pikey.

In reference to powersliding lorries:

JM: What? You can't powerslide lorries!
RH: Well technically you can't powerslide anything.

In reference to powersliding lorries part two:

BBC Health & Safety Guy: You done something to your leg as well?
JC: Yeah, the gear lever's gone up my ass!

haha the funniest episode in a long time.
 
from the last ep:

"i absolutely hope that james may wakes up in the morning and that 10000 insects are in his underpants" - Jeremy :jeremy:
 
JC: "I was staggered by the speed of my Magnum" - "I'm going 70 miles an hour in a lorry" - "But then Hammond found another gear"

RH: "And it says the winner will receive a year's supply of gentleman's literature"
JM: *flush*
 
Jeremy Clarkson said:
The fact is that you would not wilfully buy a horrible garden ornament for your front lawn. You would not deliberately select an ugly sofa, and it is the act of a madman, or more usually a nervous wife, to look at all the available au pairs from Finland and think: ?Hmmm. I?ll take the moose.?
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This made me laugh hard :mrgreen:

From his Alfa Romeo Brera S review http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/driving/jeremy_clarkson/article5055312.ece
 
"James is gonna wake up in a lorry, surrounded by five firemen."


*Close enough.
 
Jeremy Clarkson - Supercars are meant to mess with the g forces and hypercars are meant to mess with the g strings

Jeremy Clarkson - Speed has never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you
 
Was it the Audi TT Jeremy was talking about when he said something like, "People wrote in to complain about how dead they were..."? :lol:
 
The quote that's bangin' in my mind comes from an episode when Jeremy test a Cadillac or some other US manufactured car.

JC:"It looks like it was designed by a man who only had a ruler..."

:roflmao:That one is just killing me :D
 
Jeremy, describing his Rover in the British Leyland episode:

"... and inside... plum-coloured, vulgalour seats..."

"And due to these few, niggly little details, I was able to get this bucket of magnificence for just eleven hundred of my pounds."

This is the first episode I ever saw, and when they filled up those shit cars with the water, I was hooked. :lol::lol::lol:
 
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