The best ever Clarkson,Hammond and May Quotes

Jeremy: [About his Ford GT] The thing is, I think I'm right in saying that I have never completed a single journey, anywhere there and back, in it ever. Which must make it the most unreliable car... ever made. In fact, if you've got a more unreliable one, write to us at "Actually, I've Got a Peugeot" BBC Top Gear, London W12...
 
Clarkson looking around and knocking on houses to find electricity to refuel Geoff.
"thats odd, i thought everyone was unemployed?"
 
RH "That's the worst-looking car I've ever seen. I'd rather look at one of your dingleberries"
 
RH "That's the worst-looking car I've ever seen. I'd rather look at one of your dingleberries"
JC some say in the autnm all his arms go brown and fall off and that if he wrote you a letter of condolance
he would at least get your name right all we know is he's called the stog
JM: Can you stop driving like such an arse? It's not going to make any difference.
RH: I'm driving quickly, that will make a difference in a race
Jeremy Clarkson: Some say that last week, he was found locked in a room tied to a chair with German piano wire and that this week, MPs turned him down for the job of Speaker. All we know is, that's three things he has in common with Margaret Beckett
Richard Hammond: [referring to Stig] Actually, I'm quite glad it's him in that car because today, that McLaren is worth ?2m. If we do come together, though, he does know the drill: run and meet at the border.
Jeremy Clarkson: This is a car programme. There will be no cushions. There will be no rag-rolling. No-one will sing and at the end of the series no-one will have a recording contract
Richard Hammond: James! What are you doing?

James May: Shooting at Jeremy.

Richard Hammond: But he's on our side!

James May: Yeah, but why wouldn't you?

Richard Hammond: You're right, you would. Fire!

Richard Hammond: James, some say you saved our bacon.
James May: Others say I was bound and gagged in the locker room.
Kiff the Sound Man: Jeremy! Jeremy! my arm's come off!

Jeremy Clarkson: What!?
Kiff the Sound Man: My arm's come off!

Jeremy Clarkson: [laughing] Nobody has ever said that in a car race before.
 
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Clarkson: "They're building what can only be described as... yes that's a public execution" LOOOL every time at this
 
From 12x03

JC (talking about James): So before letting him loose on our track in a very fast car, we thought it would be a good idea for him to get some training. So we said to him, "James, go anywhere you like, ok, for your training. Just not Finland."

(Cut to the video)

JM: Finland.
 
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From the electric car outtakes in the windtunnel:

JC "Our cars is more aerodynamic than James May's face!"
 
JC: "...a pedantic long-haired old queen" (about JM)
JC " I'm going to change gear now, so there's going to be man-touching"
 
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Jezza-"If you are pregnant, and in labour, and find yourself in a Kia...for God's sake...GET OUT OF IT!!"
 
Or now
 
Series 10, Episode 06 - The News

Commenting on the price of various liquids per liter, Jeremy notes that bull semen runs GBP25,000 a liter. Later, he notes that the last time he filled up, it cost him GBP35,000* to which James May accused him of being an idiot and filling his car up with bull semen.

Richard - "You didn't notice the handle was different?"




* - The true reason was because the station attendant nicked his credit card number and sold it, so "some bloke in California" was running up charges.
 
Series 10, Episode 06 - The News

Commenting on the price of various liquids per liter, Jeremy notes that bull semen runs GBP25,000 a liter. Later, he notes that the last time he filled up, it cost him GBP35,000* to which James May accused him of being an idiot and filling his car up with bull semen.

Richard - "You didn't notice the handle was different?"

Richard: *mooo* And now it's chasing me! I don't want it anymore!

:lol:
 
JC :"If you say Morrisons I'm going to stab you in the heart" and
"I've got a vision of James May smearing himself in marmalade"
" And what goes with guns? You're right, drink"
 
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