The Bionic Hamster

Good for Hammond, imagine Clarkson stuck in traffic, late for his son's birthday. After he gets there, like 6 hours late, starts explainin' to his son, about one idiot with a caravan, who managed to block half the road, another fat idiot in a 1982 toyota blocked the other half, because Jason Dowe buys cars for less than 500 pounts & they tend to overheat sometimes, & after the jam was over the immobilizer on his Ford GT (let's imagine) died, & he had to get to Ford office as quickly as possible to kill manager's dog. After the murder, he too decided to run home, but was hit by an occasional custard pie in his face after just 22 yards & gave up that idea, then he went to hire a car, but they recognised him & he ended up with "The Loaner" from "The Mask".

A week later in Clarkson's column there will be an explanation, blaming everything on the new prime minister, envi-s & of course Rover.
 
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Now thats a Dad !!! , not even worried about the 911 being stranded.
 
Good for Hammond, imagine Clarkson stuck in traffic, late for his son's birthday. After he gets there, like 6 hours late, starts explainin' to his son, about one idiot with a caravan, who managed to block half the road, another fat idiot in a 1982 toyota blocked the other half, because Jason Dowe buys cars for less than 500 pounts & they tend to overheat sometimes, & after the jam was over the immobilizer on his Ford GT (let's imagine) died, & he had to get to Ford office as quickly as possible to kill manager's dog. After the murder, he too decided to run home, but was hit by an occasional custard pie in his face after just 22 yards & gave up that idea, then he went to hire a car, but they recognised him & he ended up with "The Loaner" from "The Mask".

A week later in Clarkson's column there will be an explanation, blaming everything on the new prime minister, envi-s & of course Rover.
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Except it'd all be scripted by Andy Wilman.
 
i like celebrity stories like that, albiet most celebs don't seem as motivated to do human things as much as fashionable things
 
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