The Joke Thread

Sounds like it belongs in the NSFW joke thread. ;)
Imagine being in a room with everyone you've ever slept with.

I hate family reunions....
Maybe you should read the thread title.
Why do teetotallers ride unicycles?

Because they can't handle bars.
Yesterday I picked up a hitchhiker. He asked if I wasn't worried that he could be a serial killer.

I said it would bei statistically very unlikely that two serial killers are in a car together.

Junior is tuning into quite the comedian. Can't think where he gets it from...

On certain days at his school to raise money for charity kids are allowed to ditch the uniform and wear their own clothes but girls are not allowed bare midriffs....

He said "I feel like going to up to my head teacher and saying 'Newsflash, Miss, the belly-button isn't the hole we're interested in!' "

(I replied "No. It's the other three...." - it took him a second or two!)
That sounds like something I would have said at that age...
How does Bruce Wayne know when supper's ready?

Dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, Batman!
"Mum, how does Chuck Norris fish?"
"I don't know..."
"You, you and you, come with me!"
"Mum, who is Chuck Norris?"

We're still practicing...
What do you get if you cross a paedo with a pirate?

Arrrr Kelly
If you get a new phone with facial recognition security use your cum face.

That way if you're mugged, at least you get a consolidation blow job.