What's the differance between Santa and Jews?
Santa goes down the chimney
Why can't Jesus eat m&m's?
They keep falling through the holes in his hands
Why have women never been to the moon?
Nothing needs to be cleaned there yet
Why do niggers stunk?
so blind people can hate them too
What do you call a ****** in a tree with a briefcase?
Branch Manager
What is a nigger?
proof that skunks fuck monkeys
Why is interrogating a mexican like playing pool?
The harder you hit the more english you get
A chink, spic, redneck and ****** are all in a car. Who's driving?
The cop
Why do jews have big noses?
Air is free
A pedophile and a 6 year old are walking into the woods at dusk. The kid says "I don't wanna go in there it looks scarey." The pedophile says "how do you think I feel. I have to walk out alone."
How do you make a little boy cry twice?
Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear.
A dirty old man pulls up in his car beside a little boy.
Holding a bag full of sweets, he says, "Hey kid, if I give you a piece of candy, will you come in my car?"
The little boy replies, "Hell mister, give me the whole bag and I'll come in your mouth!"
A guy and a girl are having sex, and the girl says, "Don't you think it was presumptuous of you to think you could sleep with me on the first date?"
The man replies, "Don't you think 'presumptuous' is a big word for a second-grader?"
What's the best thing about fucking a two year old?
Your dick looks huge in the photographs!
What did one pedophile say to the other?
"I'll give you two fives for a ten."
A little girl is standing by the edge of a cliff crying her eyes out.
A man comes over and says, "What's wrong little girl?"
The little girl still crying just points over to the edge of the cliff.
The man looks over the edge and sees a car with the little girl's parents mangled n the rocks below.
The man turns round, unzips his fly and says, "I guess it just ain't your lucky day!"
A man goes into a drugstore and says to the druggist, "I need some birth control for my eleven-year-old daughter."
"Is your little girl sexually active?" asks the druggist.
"Nah, she just lays there like her mother."
What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison?
"I feel like a kid again."
What's black and blue and doesn't like sex?
The little boy in the basement of my house.
What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole?
A pedophile.
A sex researcher is interviewing men about what they do with their other hand when they masturbate. Three subjects are in the room.
He asks the first man, who replies: "I hold a porno mag."
The second says: "I hold a computer mouse to browse porn on the net."
The third says: "I hold a sponge."
The researcher, startled, says: "Why a sponge?"
"Well, I've got to use something to bathe the kids."
What's the best part about fucking a six-year-old girl?
When you're done, you can turn her over and pretend you're fucking a six-year-old boy!
A young girl goes to her father and says, "Dad, can I go to the prom?"
He leers at her and says, "Sure, but you have to suck my dick first."
Well, the girl really wants to go to the prom, so reluctantly she pulls down his zipper and begins sucking. After a while, she looks up at him and says: "Dad, your dick tastes like shit!"
He says, "I know. Your brother wanted to go too!"
How do you stop an 8-year-old boy from choking?
Take your dick out of his mouth.
What's black and blue and doesn't like sex?
The little boy in the trunk of my car.
A man is taking a shower with his 6 year old daughter when she asks, "Daddy, what's that between your legs?"
"That's a Penis, honey."
"When am I going to get one of those?" she asked, innocently.
"As soon as Mommy goes to the Mall."
Why do pedophiles love Halloween?
Free delivery.
What's white and bobs up and down in a baby's cot ?
A pedophile's ass.