Nearly one score ago, I was abducted by a deceitful wench who once declared her love to me, but as of present, is void of it. I was taken from the land of rolling green pastures, silken cheese and plump cows whose milk is second only to ambrosia.
The scorned land I now reside in is of a flat plane and featureless, teeming with far too many imagineless, soulless humans, corrupt and deceitful leaders, and Raptorjesus.
The metropolis I reside in has people who speak a strange southern language, who brows and rents are lowered and operate vehicles that have an excess of chromed metal and lack of taste.
In other words, seven years ago I moved from Wisconsin to Illinois and I hate it.
Is there a repellant for the RaptorJesus? Maybe a cross would do the trick.