The ovloV (Volvo) combat thread

Spectre

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Volvos and their drivers suck. Perhaps not invariably, but it's so common for them to do so that they're an archetype, much like BMWs being piloted by cocks. Volvo drivers appear to buy their 'safe' cars so they don't have to give a crap about driving (which they are already terrible at doing) and then they obliviously blow traffic laws and run into other people willy-nilly.

Case in point, this was the first video result for "Volvo drivers are bad":
[video=youtube;bZ-Xe5895F0]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZ-Xe5895F0[/video]

Here's something that'd be familiar to anyone running where lane sharing is legal and Volvos are present.

This is so common that Volvo = bad driver is a known thing in many countries. Motorcyclists who have encountered them have called Volvo 'ovloV' for decades, because that's the last thing you see in your mirror before they ram into you from behind, or (as I was just reminded) that's the imprint left in your flesh or your bike's sheet metal as they hit you from any other angle.

Your turn, HighVoltage.
 
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For the record, I will state the 960 I had to drive for about 3 weeks after I got my license had two good things. 1. A nice stereo. 2. It was a wagon, so there was plenty of room for various "Activities." But those two things do not make up for the car's crappy interior quality (my P71 is better), crappy suspension (again my P71 is better), and absolutely horrid reliability (P71 is better yet again!).
 
And some more Volvo 'fun':

[video=youtube;kZEd-hnKjgQ]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZEd-hnKjgQ[/video]
Uploader comment: "Why do people hate Volvo drivers? Cause of bloody stupid things like this.... changing lanes in the middle of a corner."

For the record, I will state the 960 I had to drive for about 3 weeks after I got my license had two good things. 1. A nice stereo. 2. It was a wagon, so there was plenty of room for various "Activities." But those two things do not make up for the car's crappy interior quality (my P71 is better), crappy suspension (again my P71 is better), and absolutely horrid reliability (P71 is better yet again!).

Having owned a P71, I have to agree with you. And the P71 isn't exactly the best thing on wheels, either. Which then makes you wonder why someone would spend more money on a Volvo that's worse.
 
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Okay... this Volvo bickering is getting ridiculous. We get it, you hate Volvos. That doesn't mean people who like and/or own Volvos must be bad drivers, or that they are somehow inferior to you in general. I can find videos of bad Jaguar drivers, does that suddenly make you a shitty driver? Or hell, any other brand and their respective drivers?

And honestly, why do you care if someone buys a car you consider crap? It is their choice. It does not affect you in any way, shape, or form. People can buy whatever car they please, it will not make them better nor worse drivers. Just lay off, seriously.
 
Thing is, it's not just me. There have been others here; argatoga, for example, was the one that started the current round of Volvo bashing.

I would also point out that "bloody Jaguar drivers" is not a stereotype with global reach, while "bloody Volvo drivers" is.
 
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It is getting silly...

It's as retarded as if i should go on about all Americans fucking their sister and driving pick-up trucks.
 
Thing is, it's not just me. There have been others here; argatoga, for example, was the one that started the current round of Volvo bashing.

That does not justify it even slightly, and although I originally intended that post for you, it applies to everyone involved in this pointless Volvo bashing.
 
You know who else can't drive? Asians and women.

Cause if you judge somebody's driving solely on the car they drive then surely race and gender are OK too?
Evel said:
And honestly, why do you care if someone buys a car you consider crap?
Several people on this board seem to like ensuring that the person knows they've bought something they consider crap and pushing the point constantly. Usually until the person gets pissed off and we end up with a massive 15 page argument on something trivial.

This sums up my feelings on the matter:
BQGNE.gif
 
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It is getting silly...

It's as retarded as if i should go on about all Americans fucking their sister and driving pick-up trucks.

This is an actual Volvo ad:

Yeah, when even the company is admitting it to a degree...
 
and Americans fucking their cousins and driving pick-up trucks has been a stereotype since forever, so obviously it must be true, it's in movies.
 
and Americans fucking their cousins and driving pick-up trucks has been a stereotype since forever, so obviously it must be true, it's in movies.

Movies != "official communication from the responsible party".

But that said, yes, we have a surprising amount of incest in places like Appalachia, the Ozarks, and other similarly isolated places.

Now, will you correspondingly admit that a surprisingly large percentage of Volvo drivers are bad? Because even Volvo acknowledges the existence and credibility of the stereotype in their official advertising.
 
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admit to what? you're some idiot that cling to some retarded stereotype?
 
I will start my post in the interest of fairness; my parents have an Volvo V50. I don't drive it regularly but had done on a long journey and while I did feel slightly safer in it than the Kangoo (although not much; but that's not hard) I would not say I felt safer than the Saab. Similarly I would not say my parents' driving has changed from their old Audi A6, or their Saab before that. They drive similarly in the Kangoo, too.

Moving on; my personal opinion of the 3 videos currently posted: The first one; the S40 is inexcusable, but I would not say the S80 hasn't done anything wrong - why is there a lane there once he reaches the exit if there is not a lane round the junction? He even indicates. The second UK video to me looks like the fault of the rider - the Volvo had the indicator on, turned after an oncoming car (who would overtake with an oncoming car) and after a car had turned behind it (again - the rider was hidden until the last second). Sure he wasn't ideally positioned (right half of the lane) but I would suspect the driver checked his mirrors, looked ahead but wasn't perfect and maybe didn't check again while moving out (Insert comment about it only takes one person to be not perfect to cause the rider to go over) - but at the same time the rider should have noticed his indicators and in my mind shouldn't have overtaken at such a speed. The third Aussie video looks a weird junction where indicators should show lane changes only (no need to indicate when following the road round). Then again hands at 10 to 2 show a pretty iffy driver IMO.

In my observations I haven't noticed that Volvo drivers stick out as bad in the same way as Audis/BMWs are cocks. I could say that old drivers buy them (and they are bad), but they buy a lot of other cars, and more recently I've seen more about in stupid little hatchbacks instead of cars they hung on to from when they could drive. My gran has just replaced her V40 with a Focus failmatic, for example.

To add to all this; I too am tired of you (and others) disliking things and not shutting up about it. OK; don't buy a Volvo. OK; stare at the Volvo as you pass it in case it does something. But it was a Dodge that hit you and drive off; bad drivers come in all shapes and sizes, and in all cars. Maybe its an American thing - more stupid people buying safer cars thinking they're invincible. But that'd be wrong because I'm generalising...right?
 
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To add to all this; I too am tired of you (and others) disliking things and not shutting up about it. OK; don't buy a Volvo. OK; stare at the Volvo as you pass it in case it does something. But it was a Dodge that hit you and drive off; bad drivers come in all shapes and sizes, and in all cars. Maybe its an American thing - more stupid people buying safer cars thinking they're invincible. But that'd be wrong because I'm generalising...right?

Nope. Stereotypes are based on reality, after all. But if you do a search for "bad Volvo drivers" you'll find that at least in the UK, Australia and the US (so it's not just an American thing) similar things are being observed of Volvo pilots by others.

I would also point out that at the current time, it's not like there's a lot of traffic on the board due to the lack of Top Gear. The extended hiatus seems to be reducing attendance, so we might as well fill the empty space with something instead of letting the board look dead. :p

admit to what? you're some idiot that cling to some retarded stereotype?

Stereotypes that have more than a little basis in reality. On my bike, I have to sort through the cars and such I see in front of me and I've had to make profiles of the likely behavior of many kinds of cars based on past experience with them. When I see a Volvo, I assume they're going to be in the "bad driver" category and usually give them a wide berth. More often than not I am not disappointed (if the vehicle does anything except cruise in a straight line.) Other vehicles in this category include any classic soccer mom transport, anything showing extensive and significant body damage, any Kia Rio and most SUVs. Any SUV that's obviously 2WD gets a higher alert rating. Along with Dodge Durangos. :p
 
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So wait...according to this theory of yours, if you own a Volvo you must be a bad driver by association, or turn into one because of it. And it works all the time, for everyone that gets into a Volvo?

I see stupid shit on the road everyday, most of the time not by Volvo drivers. As you often like to point out, apparently most 850s and early S40 have died by now...so how come stupid shit still happens on the road? I think you just hate Volvos and then when you accidentally see a Volvo do something stupid it only amplifies your emotions to an extent where you are willing to make generalizations about the brand and its owners.

argatoga used to drive a Volvo. He must be a bad driver then.

And to respond to your question from the other thread - about my fog lights.
1. I don't run them all the time.
2. I'll meet you on the point that they mostly do nothing and it may be stupid to use them. But this does not fall in the same category as everything else you've said - this is not because I'm oblivious that they are on, or turn them on by mistake. Sometimes I turn them on on purpose - it's a certain style that a lot of BMW, Imprezza, Evo go for. Whether you like it or not, that's a personal decision. But we don't run them without knowing that they are on. You can put it in the same category as speeding.

I will also agree with you on the point that you have to be careful around most Volvo drivers. Especially in college towns, when you see a S70 AWD, it's usually driven by a college girl, talking on her cell phone, not paying much attention to what's going on. But that makes me hate the drivers who do that, not the cars that they drive. And I would never go as far as not willing to buy a Volvo just because "bad drivers drive Volvos".

To sum up, your generalizations are what I have a problem with.
 
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So wait...according to this theory of yours, if you own a Volvo you must be a bad driver by association, or turn into one because of it. And it works all the time, for everyone that gets into a Volvo?

Not all the time, obviously - but in my experience there is a significantly higher chance of a random Volvo driver doing something stupid and oblivious than most other random drivers. Other people think (as linked in the other thread) that it works 100% of the time and for everyone that gets into a Volvo, which I've never said. Wondered about sometimes, yes, but not said. :p

My tactic for them, where possible - avoid and accelerate away.

I see stupid shit on the road everyday, most of the time not by Volvo drivers. As you often like to point out, apparently most 850s and early S40 have died by now...so how come stupid shit still happens on the road? I think you just hate Volvos and then when you accidentally see a Volvo do something stupid it only amplifies your emotions to an extent where you are willing to make generalizations about the brand and its owners.

Or it could be that you're overlooking the driving of other Volvo pilots on the road.

Last I checked, they did sell more than just the S40 and the 850 in the US, so the fact that most of those are thankfully no longer with us doesn't mean that they've taken their idiot drivers with them. Unfortunately so, because they're just as bad in S60s, 940s, etc.., etc., and the XC90. Oh, lord, the XC90... I have yet to see one where the driver (usually female) was looking where s/he was going instead of at something (perhaps anything) else.

Again, it's not just me. You can google for further examples posted by people that are not me from around the world, some with attached videos. (By the way, I loved the paranoia when you accused me of writing that linked piece in the other thread.) Here's one from the UK that I found today - I think it rather amusing: http://www.blinman.com/drivers.htm

argatoga used to drive a Volvo. He must be a bad driver then.

He may have gotten better - he no longer drives a Volvo. (Or he might not have.) I do know he's not great with a wrench. Annnnd he's not great with a motorcycle but he is reportedly improving.

Sometimes I turn them on on purpose - it's a certain style that a lot of BMW, Imprezza, Evo go for.

These people are also being assholes. :p
 
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Right, but in a different kind of way :)

You see running XC90s that are not in the shop???

And I would also venture to say that the majority of oblivious drivers that I encounter are in Prii, and particularly - Toyota Rav4s.
 
You see running XC90s that are not in the shop???

Oddly enough, yes. Or perhaps they are either on their way to the shop or on their way back from the shop. I've never wanted to stop their drivers and ask. The only person I knew with an XC90 had it for most of a year, complained about the incessant chain of small problems it had, then was let go because she mowed down a light pole in the parking lot. Which crushed the boss's E55. He was not amused and the next time there was a round of layoffs she was the first to go. Prior to that I don't think there was a single body panel on that thing that hadn't been dented and (usually) repaired.

And I would also venture to say that the majority of oblivious drivers that I encounter are in Prii, and particularly - Toyota Rav4s.

The Prius drivers are usually over in the slow lane playing the fuel economy video game on their center displays instead of going 10 under in the fast or HOV lane, though, and therefore are not a concern for me. :p As for the RAV4, they've all but vanished around here after being nearly ubiquitous for years. Before they were an endangered species in this part of the world, I don't recall them being any better or worse than the average run of cars on the road.

What used to be a close second runner up to a Volvo badge's indication of an obliviot but has since disappeared: any 80/90s Cadillac Fleetwood.
 
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