The Speeder (Joke)

[Mischief007]

Saw this on another forum I visit, thought I'd post it here, enjoy:

While I was driving down the 401 the other day, (going a little faster than I should have) I passed under a bridge only to see a cop on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait. The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car and, with that classic patronising smirk, asked:
"Runway too short?"
To which I replied, "I'm late for work".
To which he asked, "What do you do?"
"I'm a rectum stretcher", I responded.
The cop was surprised and confused "A what? A rectum stretcher?? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
"Well" I said, " I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side to side until I get my other hand in, and then I slowly start to stretch the hole, until it's about six feet."
Then the cop asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do with a six foot asshole?"
To which I politely replied," You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge....."

Speeding ticket: $160.00

Court costs: $45

Look on the cop's face: Priceless

 

[bartboy9891]

:lol: :lol: :lol:
that was funnay

 

[Lilleput]

Laughed at the joke then say Bartboys avatar and laughed again

 

[bartboy9891]

stole it from another forum *cough dieselstation /cough* :lol:

 

[Renesis]

:lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[Mischief007]

stole it from another forum *cough dieselstation /cough* :lol:

You know how these jokes get around. And it wasn't DS at all .

 

[bihus]

stole it from another forum *cough dieselstation /cough* :lol:

You know how these jokes get around. And it wasn't DS at all .

He was talking about the avatar...

 

[Mischief007]

......not in the right mind today.

 

[bihus]

......not in the right mind today.

You have your mind somewhere else, right?

BTW, have you already bought that thing you were thinking of buying?
Found one nice for you. Might be a little smaller than what you're looking for, but it's a little more frugal. Here's the link

 

[Raheel]

nice joke dude. and cool avatar bartboy9891 Nice answer for a cop!!!

 

[Mischief007]

......not in the right mind today.

You have your mind somewhere else, right?

BTW, have you already bought that thing you were thinking of buying?
Found one nice for you. Might be a little smaller than what you're looking for, but it's a little more frugal. Here's the link

I'd LOVE to have one of those but parking might be hard to come by...:lol:...so I downgraded a little bit and looking for something else now. It would still be considered a "tank"...

 

[Renesis]

Yeah, what are you getting mate?

 

[Mischief007]

Something I always wanted...I'm at the research stage right now.

 

[fbc]

Aw c'mon, we need more hints, we know it's a tank, not a cadillac, but is cadillac's competition, and isn't a Lincoln Town car

Is it.... American?

 

[bihus]

Aw c'mon, we need more hints, we know it's a tank, not a cadillac, but is cadillac's competition, and isn't a Lincoln Town car

Is it.... American?

I think so...

Or so I hope that only americans do that...

 

[Mischief007]

It is NOT American and it is in direct competition to the Cadillac's line up. If you guys can't guess then you are not car guys...:lol:

 

[BlaRo]

It's one of these. Obviously.

:lol:

 

[Roman]

 

[///M]

BMW 5-series?

 

[bihus]

It is NOT American and it is in direct competition to the Cadillac's line up. If you guys can't guess then you are not car guys...:lol:

I don't know Cadillac line-up...