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- Feb 17, 2006
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- '12 MX-5 PRHT, '02 Freelander, '90 Disco 1 Bobtail
This is something I've been working on (and threatening people with) since lockdown last year and as you're reading these words it means I've finally bothered to write them all out.
It's a simple, some could say childish plan to drive from Twatt in Orkney, via John O'Groats, north to south via places with rude names. There are lots of them in England, particularly in the east where the yokels live. Scotland is a bit lighter but the scenery should make up for it.
Currently it's split over 9 days, with a 10th day route reserved for the mad dash towards Dover for cross-Channel Ringmeet shenanigans. At this point the easiest way for me to plan it was to assume only Tesla superchargers are available and tweak the route to make that possible, it's actually totally possible on paper but that will be influenced by driving 'style'. The charger near Penrith is down right now so that's ignored for this and I'd have to slum it with an Instavolt or two.
Here's an overview of the route:
Map
Below are the waypoints for each day, exact route between them is fluid.
Day 1 - Scottish isles and Scotland
Twatt, Orkney
John O'Groats (via ferry)
Inverness (supercharger)
Backside, Huntly
Aberdeen (overnight)
Approx. Distance: 292mi/470km
Estimated time: 8 hrs
Map
Day 2 - Scotland
Aberdeen (supercharger)
Cock Bridge
Perth (supercharger)
East Breast (meet Captain 70s somewhere in between?)
Dick Place, Edinburgh (overnight)
Approx. Distance: 282mi/454km
Estimated time: 7 hrs 20
Map
Day 3 - Scotland and Northern England
Edinburgh
Abington (supercharger)
New Cumnock
Cumnock
Cairnryan (a random waypoint to create a more scenic coastal route)
Gretna Green (supercharger)
Cockermouth (overnight)
Approx. Distance: 262mi/422km
Estimated driving time: 6 hrs 16
Map
Day 4 - Northern England to Midlands-ish
Penrith (maybe charger - visit Andeh?)
Glenridding (nice road)
Kendal
Kirkby Lonsdale (maybe - Instavolt)
Settle
Rimswell
Scunthorpe
Penistone
Crowden (random campsite I found near the place I bought the V8 Disco)
Approx. Distance: 301mi/484km
Estimated driving time: 8 hrs 14
Map
Day 5 - Midlands to East Anglia
Barnsely (pronounced Barns-leh, supercharger)
Cock Alley
Bitchfield
Dyke
Deeping St Nicholas (read - deep in St Nicholas...)
Ring's end
Feltwell
Methwold (because it's on the way so why not?)
King's Lynn (supercharger)
Docking
Hunstanton, passing Lousy Bush Wood (overnight, building sandcastles)
Approx. Distance: 224mi/361km
Estimated driving time: 6 hrs
Map
Day 6 - More East Anglia
Dicks Mount
Wangford
Cockfield
Burnt Dick Hill
Colchester (supercharger)
Fingringhoe
Clacton-on-sea (overnight if we survive)
Approx. Distance: 192mi/309km
Estimated driving time: 5 hrs 23
Map
Day 7
Dartford (supercharger, big bridge and all that)
Shellow Bowells
Thong
Lower Dicker
Upper Dicker
Fulking (close enough)
Brighton (overnight, again if we survive)
Approx. Distance: 254mi/409km
Estimated driving time: 5 hrs 57
Map
Day 8
Balls Cross
Titty Hill
Cocking
Arnesbury (supercharger)
Droop
Shitterton
Weymouth (overnight, another classic English seaside town)
Approx. Distance: 204mi/328km
Estimated driving time: 5 hrs 31
Map
Day 9
Exeter (supercharger)
Hoe Park
Crapstone
Lifton (supercharger)
Brown Willy (it's a hill, climbing optional or it could just be passed)
Land's End
Approx. Distance: 232mi/373km
Estimated driving time: 5 hrs 24
Map
Let me know what you think of this lunacy, I'm just glad to have it down on here so it isn't just taking up space in my brain that I need for breathing and stuff.
It's a simple, some could say childish plan to drive from Twatt in Orkney, via John O'Groats, north to south via places with rude names. There are lots of them in England, particularly in the east where the yokels live. Scotland is a bit lighter but the scenery should make up for it.
Currently it's split over 9 days, with a 10th day route reserved for the mad dash towards Dover for cross-Channel Ringmeet shenanigans. At this point the easiest way for me to plan it was to assume only Tesla superchargers are available and tweak the route to make that possible, it's actually totally possible on paper but that will be influenced by driving 'style'. The charger near Penrith is down right now so that's ignored for this and I'd have to slum it with an Instavolt or two.
Here's an overview of the route:
Map
Below are the waypoints for each day, exact route between them is fluid.
Day 1 - Scottish isles and Scotland
Twatt, Orkney
John O'Groats (via ferry)
Inverness (supercharger)
Backside, Huntly
Aberdeen (overnight)
Approx. Distance: 292mi/470km
Estimated time: 8 hrs
Map
Day 2 - Scotland
Aberdeen (supercharger)
Cock Bridge
Perth (supercharger)
East Breast (meet Captain 70s somewhere in between?)
Dick Place, Edinburgh (overnight)
Approx. Distance: 282mi/454km
Estimated time: 7 hrs 20
Map
Day 3 - Scotland and Northern England
Edinburgh
Abington (supercharger)
New Cumnock
Cumnock
Cairnryan (a random waypoint to create a more scenic coastal route)
Gretna Green (supercharger)
Cockermouth (overnight)
Approx. Distance: 262mi/422km
Estimated driving time: 6 hrs 16
Map
Day 4 - Northern England to Midlands-ish
Penrith (maybe charger - visit Andeh?)
Glenridding (nice road)
Kendal
Kirkby Lonsdale (maybe - Instavolt)
Settle
Rimswell
Scunthorpe
Penistone
Crowden (random campsite I found near the place I bought the V8 Disco)
Approx. Distance: 301mi/484km
Estimated driving time: 8 hrs 14
Map
Day 5 - Midlands to East Anglia
Barnsely (pronounced Barns-leh, supercharger)
Cock Alley
Bitchfield
Dyke
Deeping St Nicholas (read - deep in St Nicholas...)
Ring's end
Feltwell
Methwold (because it's on the way so why not?)
King's Lynn (supercharger)
Docking
Hunstanton, passing Lousy Bush Wood (overnight, building sandcastles)
Approx. Distance: 224mi/361km
Estimated driving time: 6 hrs
Map
Day 6 - More East Anglia
Dicks Mount
Wangford
Cockfield
Burnt Dick Hill
Colchester (supercharger)
Fingringhoe
Clacton-on-sea (overnight if we survive)
Approx. Distance: 192mi/309km
Estimated driving time: 5 hrs 23
Map
Day 7
Dartford (supercharger, big bridge and all that)
Shellow Bowells
Thong
Lower Dicker
Upper Dicker
Fulking (close enough)
Brighton (overnight, again if we survive)
Approx. Distance: 254mi/409km
Estimated driving time: 5 hrs 57
Map
Day 8
Balls Cross
Titty Hill
Cocking
Arnesbury (supercharger)
Droop
Shitterton
Weymouth (overnight, another classic English seaside town)
Approx. Distance: 204mi/328km
Estimated driving time: 5 hrs 31
Map
Day 9
Exeter (supercharger)
Hoe Park
Crapstone
Lifton (supercharger)
Brown Willy (it's a hill, climbing optional or it could just be passed)
Land's End
Approx. Distance: 232mi/373km
Estimated driving time: 5 hrs 24
Map
Let me know what you think of this lunacy, I'm just glad to have it down on here so it isn't just taking up space in my brain that I need for breathing and stuff.
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