The "What the Bloody Fuckintosh?" Thread

calvinhobbes

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Lightning Count

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Cup Noodles: For a fabulous world!

Lol, you should read 2000AD, in Dredd's world cup noodles are devoid of nutritional value and actually be fatal occasionally to those who eat them.
 
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eizbaer

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Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett - Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter said:
CHOW^TM contained spun, plaited, and woven protein molecules, capped and coded, carefully designed to be ignored by even the most ravenous digestive tract enzymes; no-cal sweeteners; mineral oils replacing vegetable oils; fibrous materials, colorings, and flavorings. The end result was a foodstuff almost indistinguishable from any other except for two things. Firstly, the price, which was slightly higher, and secondly, the nutritional content, which was roughly equivalent to that of a Sony Walkman.
 
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GRtak

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Snowmobiler Kills Dog Competing In Iditarod; Attack Apparently Intentional


One dog has been killed and multiple dogs have been injured by a snowmobiler in what appears to be an intentional attack on competitors in the Iditarod Race in Alaska.

Iditarod veteran Aliy Zirkle was the first to report an attack.

A snowmachiner had "repeatedly attempted to harm her and her team," the Iditarod Trail Committee says, and one of Zirkle's dogs had received a non-life-threatening injury.

Zirkle reported the attack when she arrived in Nulato, Alaska, in the wee hours of the morning, and race officials and law enforcement were notified.

Then Jeff King, a four-time Iditarod champion who was behind Zirkle, reported a similar encounter.

King's team was hit by a snowmobiler, injuring several dogs and killing one ? Nash, a 3-year-old male.

Reporter Emily Schwing tells our Newscast unit that King's sled has lights and reflectors.

"It really felt like reckless bravado and playing chicken," King told Emily.

Zachariah Hughes, a reporter for Alaska Public Media, says that neither King nor Zirkle were injured, according to state troopers.

A suspect has been identified, race officials say, and an investigation has begun.

"Regrettably, this incident very much alters the race of the two mushers competing for a win," the Trail Committee writes. "However, both are going to continue on their way toward Nome."

After a four-hour rest, Zirkle left Nulato ? leaving one dog behind ? in third place. King is still at the checkpoint as of 1 p.m. Eastern.

Emily says on Twitter that King explained, "I'm not gonna let this schmuck take any more of the fun away."

You can find updates on this story, as well as full coverage of the Iditarod race, at Alaska Public Media.


What the hell? I just don't understand why anyone would do this.
 

AiR

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Somehow these two idiots both survived.

 

Cryptopygia

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The latest public health crisis facing Utah? Porn.
 

CrzRsn

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Eye-Q

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Right, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. What I meant was this (long apology coming up, that's why I put it in a spoiler):
Fuck you fuckers, you pussies are bitching about things you didn't bitch about 10 years ago. STFU!





:p
 

stiggie

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The Norwegian mass-murdering Nazi who killed 77 people in 2011 has accused the Norwegian Government of torture because he doesn't like the microwaved food and plastic cutlery he gets in prison.

http://www.skynews.com.au/news/world/europe/2016/03/17/breivik-labels-prison-food-as-torture.html

Personally I think he should be thankful that he isn't subjected to being daily beaten to within an inch of his life. I doubt even the most ardent human rights campaigners would have a problem with that.
 
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