Rip-off from another forum...
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On Tesco's - Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- 'Do not turn upside down.'
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- 'Warning:contains nuts'
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- 'Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.' (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- 'Product will be hot after heating.' (...and you thought????...)
On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. (That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap -- 'Directions: Use like regular soap.' (and that would be???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- 'Serving suggestion: Defrost.' (but, it's just a suggestion.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- 'Do not iron clothes on body.' (but wouldn't this save me time?)
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- 'Warning: May cause drowsiness.' (..I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights -- 'For indoor or outdoor use only.' (as opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor -- 'Not to be used for the other use.' (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- 'Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.' (Step 3: say what?)
On a child's Superman costume -- 'Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.' (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw -- 'Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.' (Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)