Top Gear Chuck Norris jokes/facts

If you took all the stigs in the world, and put them on top of each other, you would reach a soaring height of [insert Michael Shumacher's height here]
 
There are 3 presenters on Top Gear. Only one of them has crashed while driving 5mph towards a roundabout.
 
^ without wearing a white helmet
 
James may CAN plug something while juggling penguins, whilst making love to a beautiful woman on stage, in front of the queen
 
Jeremy Clarkson was born in the following manner: he was catapulted from his mother's womb straight behind the steering wheel of a powersliding Jaguar E-Type.
 
There are plans to build a village to Dunsfold Park. This is to accomodate more fans to follow the Top Gear recordings.
 
If the stig and James shook hands they would annihilate each other and release photons of gamma ray energy
 
Stig's mom packs him a sack lunch everyday. Some days he gets a bear's head and cow tongue sandwich with the blood of a caravan driver in place of ketchup.
 
It took a long time to get the Bugatti Veyron for a lap with the Stig. The reason was that the TG Crew didn't want to leave him alone with the car to avoid Baby Veyrons.

Jeremy Clarkson used to run 100m less than 3 seconds slower than Usain Bolt's current world record. He would win today, if they went downhill.
 
The veyron only reached 5th place on the powerboard because it was exhausted for all of the stig-humping
 
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