No 56k: Twerp's cookins

[Twerp128]

Here's my fantastically mediocre $18 Key Lime Pie. And for all of yous guys out of the loop Key Lime Pie is the best dessert ever, and any one who doesn't think so is a tremendous fuck with the palette of a Catfish.

 

[Koenig]

I dunno man....I'd take cheesecake over key lime any day of the week.

 

[Twerp128]

I dunno man....I'd take cheesecake over key lime any day of the week.

 

[The_Finn]

I dunno man....I'd take cheesecake over key lime any day of the week.

the only reason you would ever say that is because you have never had good key lime pie. The difference between good keylime pie and bad keylime pie is incredible

 

[cvrefugee]

Why is it yellow? Should it be, you know, green like a lime?

 

[JDizzle]

any chance of the reciepe??

 

[Twerp128]

Oh, I didn't make it. I was on vacation when I got a hankering for Key Lime pie, I searched up and down this small town until I found one, and it cost me an arm and a leg. But, I tell you fresh crab and fish for dinner with Key Lime pie for dessert is such a great meal.

I'll post my Key Lime pie recipe with pics in a few days though.

 

[Koenig]

the only reason you would ever say that is because you have never had good key lime pie. The difference between good keylime pie and bad keylime pie is incredible

I never said I didn't like key lime, I'm just a huge huge fan of cheesecake. Seriously, if I were on deathrow, I'd just ask for an all-you-can-eat cheesecake buffet as a last meal.

 

[Twerp128]

I never said I didn't like key lime, I'm just a huge huge fan of cheesecake. Seriously, if I were on deathrow, I'd just ask for an all-you-can-eat cheesecake buffet as a last meal.

If I were on deathrow, I'd get a shit ton of Diet Coke and Mentos for my last meal.

Cheesecake is in my top 10 desserts.

 

[Matt2000]

Never tried Lime pie, but it looks nice.

The whole catfish thing is very random though, it made me lol when I saw the picture. Anyway, how is this no 56k, there's only one picture. Unless you include the catfish of course. I may line that up for my next avatar.

 

[Twerp128]

Never tried Lime pie, but it looks nice.

The whole catfish thing is very random though, it made me lol when I saw the picture. Anyway, how is this no 56k, there's only one picture. Unless you include the catfish of course. I may line that up for my next avatar.

Key Lime Pie is the best dessert ever, and any one who doesn't think so is a tremendous fuck with the palette of a Catfish.

I do plan on posting more pictures though recipes and stuff like that.

 

[Koenig]

Why catfish though? One of the tastiest fish I've ever had. Mmmmmm.....cajun catfish *drool*

 

[The_Finn]

Why is it yellow? Should it be, you know, green like a lime?

key limes (the real ones anyway) have yellow juice instead of the green that you get from "normal" limes. Real keylime juice is pretty hard to come by most of what you get in the stores is normal lime juice with added acid to create the extra tartness that comes from real keylimes

 

[Twerp128]

+1. Greatest dessert ever. I had pleasure of actually eating it on a regular basis in the Keys when I lived in South Florida. It's one of the very few things I miss about that part of the country.

I was in the Keys back in '05 I sailed all week and was in Key West for one day, the only goal that whole day was to get a Key Lime Pie (or three). I forgot, took off on a plane the next day utterly heart-wrenched.

It's a custard, so it's thickened with egg yolks (hence the yellow color). Lime juice itself really doesn't have much color of its own, and the little bit it does have is closer to yellow than green.

In fact, if I ever saw a completely green Key Lime Pie, I wouldn't touch it.

In fact back when Key Lime Pie came about in the Keys it was made with fresh Key Limes, sweetened condensed milk, and egg yolks. The condensed milk and acid in the lime juice produce a chemical reaction that creates the custard-y texture. The original Key Lime Pies were not baked, we do that today to thicken the pie a bit more, and more importantly to kill diseases.

key limes (the real ones anyway) have yellow juice instead of the green that you get from "normal" limes. Real keylime juice is pretty hard to come by most of what you get in the stores is normal lime juice with added acid to create the extra tartness that comes from real keylimes

It's best to use real Key Limes, most grocery store Key Limes aren't the best but they are much better then the bottled alternatives. A Key Lime Pie made with real limes has much less tartness and more lime flavor. If you go for the bottled lime juice though, Manhattan or Nellie's brands are the best.

 

[Twerp128]

So I was gonna make a Key Lime Pie today, but the supermarket was all out of Key Limes. So I did this instead

Twerp's Swiss Cheese & Pickle Sandwich

I know it sounds disgusting, but it's actually really good. You have to try it at least once.

You'll need:
Bread (Rye is best)
Swiss Cheese
Dill Pickles (Milwaukee or Claussen brand are the best)
Mayonnaise
Butter

First, shred the pickles, about 1/4 cup or so. I guess you could use Dill Relish, but then you could just order take-out couldn't you, you lazy bastard.

Second, shred the Swiss Cheese. I shred the pickles and cheese at about a 50/50 ratio. If you have higher quality, stronger, Swiss Cheese you may want to use less. Or if you just really like Dill Pickles like me.

Next add a couple dollops of Mayonnaise.

Then stir it all together and butter the bread.

Heat a pan and add a slice of Rye bread, spread the pickle and cheese mix, then add the last slice of bread. Cook as you would a normal grilled cheese.

Viola!

 

[Punisher Bass]

Pickles, swiss cheese, mayo...

I'm sorry, but that looks like Eggs Erroneous from Ernest Goes To camp.

 

[Twerp128]

Twerp's Key Lime Pie!

Twerp Key Lime Pie!

You need:
1lb. bag of Key Limes or a bottle of Manhattan or Nellie's Key Lime Juice if your a slacker
1 14 oz. can Sweetened Condensed Milk
4 Egg Yolks
1c. Graham Cracker Crumbs
3 tbsp. Granulated Sugar
6 tbsp. Melted Butter

Juice your Limes! Slice and squeeze the juice into a container. Rolling them on the cutting board helps a bit, but, not as much as with lemons. I know it's a bitch, but the pie tastes sooo much better with fresh lime juice. A 1lb. bag of Key Limes should get you 1 cup of lime juice, which is just barely too little juice to make two pies. I usually use about 1/2 cup and, oh, about 3-4 tbsp. of lime juice in a pie. If your using bottled lime juice take the extra time to play with yourself and charge up your electric wheelchair you lazy bastard.

Dont' forget to strain out the seeds and pulp, numb nuts!

Preheat the Oven to 350 degrees. Then mix the graham cracker crumbs, sugar, and butter together and pat out into a crust in a 9" pie dish. You can also grease the sides of a 9" spring form pan and make the crust in that as well.

Bake the crust in the oven for 10 minutes.

Next separate the yolks, and add to the sweetened condensed milk in a mixing bowl. You can use the egg whites as a meringue for the top of the pie, but I prefer to just whip up some heavy cream and use that instead. I think whipped cream compliments the pie better then a meringue. Just fry up the whites and eat 'em on toast or a salad or something.

Whisk the yolks and milk together. Then whisk in 1/2 cup plus 3 to 4 tbsp. of Key Lime Juice, or a if your using bottled lime juice just use 1/2 cup as I find it's more concentrated. Make sure you mix in the lime juice good, the filling should thicken a bit. The acid in the lime juice reacts with the sweetened condensed milk to form the smooth texture. Give the filling at least five minutes to thicken.

Pour the filling into your pie shell. And pop any big bubbles on the surface.

Cook the pie at 350 for 15 minutes.

Chill for 8 hours, then serve. (I'll post a final picture tomorrow, as my pie is firming in the fridge right now.)

 

[The_Finn]

Fuck yeah keylime pie... i am totally making this tomorrow since i have the day time off

 

[Twerp128]

And here it is. . .

 

[Tim0r]

That does in fact look delicious.

OM NOM NOM