Wacky Races - RACE THREAD

*attacks on vonsmythe*
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Don't try and violate the one most important unsaid rules of the Wacky Races. No cheap shots while someone is asleep in real life. Not cool.

"Sir, your eggs and caviare are ready."
"Good, send them down. And bring us out of stealth. What is the latest?"
"Nothing too eventful, sir. A few nukes. Several Von Smythe Wacky Race Tributes we scattered across the landscape for when you win have been vandalised. I'm terribly sorry sir, but your mannequin was defaced in one."
"Bastards. Get us back on route!"
 
Me: "Okay Nigel, you're in the hot seat for the final stint."

Nige: "What's my motivation?"

(I put a DVD in the car stereo system)

<blaring out of the speakers> "And the gap between Piquet and Mansell is down to five seconds as the British crowd cheers Red 5 on..." <British crowd noise from the 1987 GP ensues>


Woah... THE SPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!!!!!!! IT'S ENORMOUS!
 
Pitboard: "We've reached word that the Signature Rolls is on the move again. The doctor's preparing our Dalek army just in case. There's a slight chance he could find out."
 
Clay looks up, what he found was not a sky. What he found was an army of what looked like pepper cans, heading his way.

Clay: "(censored)"
 
"Sir, I'm receiving word from air support that several recent nuclear blasts caused an avalanche, blocking the road. The race organisers have an optional diversion through an old mine."
"Well then, it would seem the diversion is now compulsory. Activate the thermal imaging overlay on the windows."
"Also sir, the Daleks have arrived, shall I order them to attack the opposition?"
*Sarcasm*"I don't know, should you?"
"Uhm, yes?"
 
While the others have been throwing Daleks at each other, our car is FINALLY running reliably, up front and out of range of everyone's arsenal. Nigel thinks he's going through Stowe Corner on lap 57 of the 1987 British GP just about every second.
 
Seriously VonSmtyhe, it gets old

Lara: Open the sunroof
Me: What...what are you doing?!
Lara: Playing for sport.

(Lara backflips onto roof of VonSmythe's rolls)
 
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*Nervous*"Sir, it's Croft."
"Right, same story as last year. Only this time the impervious shell of the vehicle has been designed to absorb the blow of an extreme impact and convert it in to energy, electrifying the outer vehicle, killing anyone touching it."
"Right, that's a relief sir."
 
As Clay is enjoying the lightshow, he recieves a message.

Pitboard: "Caution, roadworks ahead."
 
Lara: Not this time

(Uses magnetic gloves and pulls off window, swings through into cabin and sits down next to VonSmythe)

Lara: Expecting someone else?
 
James: So Lara Croft is on VonSmythe's car.

Jessie: I know what to do.

Inside Smithy's car: *FFFFffffffffffffff* <- the sound of a KUIPER carbon monoxide grenade venting it's contents.

James: I was thinking push him into the trees.

Jessie: That too. Oh shit, ROADWORKS!
 
(Lara dons gas mask)

Lara: WTF? I'm in heerr.....
 
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All three passengers of the Rolls have been knocked unconscious (too slow with the mask methinks). Life support systems in the vehicle keep them alive. The car swerves off of the road and falls 300 metres down a cliff before rolling down an embankment in to a swamp.
 
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...and the Peugeot follows it, as they had been to lazy to read maps, the team had been simply following the Rolls.

"Oh SHHIIIIIIIITT..."
 
Meanwhile, on the Glorbibat panet, rioting breaks out between the Glorbibats and the Von Smythe Imperial guards.
 
Hang in there

I veer the zonda off the cliff and activate the SPYDER handling pack. Down at the swamp I pull Lara out of the wreckage and lay her inside our own car, while there I plant some explosives inside the engine block.

Lara: Whe...Where am I?
Me: Explain later, lets get out've here

VROOM!. The Zonda speeds up the embankment onto the road. Next stop Paris.
 
The VonSmythe Roller sits in the swamp, which is where our grenade explodes, killing Wadsworth, and Lara loses a leg to shrapnel.

[random removal from action]

Lara: WTF, Jessie? I'm still in the car.

Jessie: Exactly. Now shut up and be unconscious! *bitchslap*

[/random removal from action]
 
The Espace's hard accelerate caused the rope to fail and the Metro is now slowing down. I'm waiting for it to reach 130km/h until I engage gear, so as not to ruin the engine. I've also thrown a screwdriver to VonSmythe's car because it looked as if it's needed :p
 
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