Wacky Races - RACE THREAD

Lupin_IV

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 23, 2008
Messages
3,876
Location
about 10 miles north of Carlisle, PA
Car(s)
'84 Pontiac Parisienne, '93 Chevy Caprice
Team Scorched Earth's vehicle jerks to one side.

Lupin: What the heck was that?
Shatner: I think I just ran over an old woman.
Lupin: That's 110 points.
Shatner: ...What?
Lupin: Haven't you ever seen Death Race 2000? Nevermind, I might as well use some of this firepower while I'm alert.

A dozen rockets launch from the back seat of the armored Pontiac, toward the lead pack.
 

racingfan1

Well-Known Member
Joined
Feb 13, 2007
Messages
3,387
Location
Hendersonville, TN USA
Two and a quarter hours after our accident, the left-hand door and rear fender have been repaired and the crew is working vastly ahead of schedule. New reports suggest the car could be ready to chase down the leaders in another few hours. All that remains is to repair the left-front chassis and suspension components, and reconnect the reactor to the drivetrain.
 

Matt2000

An Unfortunate Discovery
DONOR
Joined
Feb 17, 2006
Messages
15,164
Location
Spotted Dick, Englandshireford
Car(s)
2020 Tesla Model 3, 1990 Discovery 1 Bobtail
Meanwhile, in the race, it seems very few teams are actually trying to win with their cars. Shothouse have been running steady for some time, pulling over briefly to help a friend with a broken car.

Team HQ is called and the old white jallopy is despatched (driven by the badly injured Morph) with a batch of Lucas spare parts, which should be slightly more durable for the poor sod.

We are working out our current position, and as far as we can tell we are second behind the Metro. The GPS is signal is still very poor...

...And now we have a puncture. Ralf will change this and he will take over night... *whoosh* ...driving, but I'll get back behind the wheel in the morning. So far the mirrors have been filled with nothing but explosions. Never mind, we'll hit the desert soon...

ShotHouse signing off.
 

Cryptopygia

Well-Known Member
Joined
Feb 19, 2007
Messages
3,603
Location
The Eastern state where you can't fill your tank
Car(s)
Whichever car is still working
Jessie: Tracking target.

James: Nevermind him, Jessie. Just focus on the race.

Jessie: Directive updated. *regains consciousness, dizzily stumbles a bit* Whoooa, Just give me a minute.

*Steadies hirself against a tree*

Okay, I'm ready.

*Gets back on bikes and set off for victory*
 

Richmondgal

Well-Known Member
Joined
Feb 19, 2008
Messages
2,858
Location
Melbourne, Australia
Car(s)
Still a Hyundai...but this time an i30
Richmondgal: WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?
Scotty: Asleep
Richmondgal: GET YOUR ARSE IN THE CAR! WE'RE ALREADY 8 HOURS LATE!!

*Richmondgal turns on ignition*

And they're off to whereever everyone else has gone.
Richmondgal: Looks like we need to avoid Mt Clarkson and that Smithy Tunnel.
Scotty: Where to?
Richmondgal: I don't know.
 

captain_70s

Forum Addict
Joined
Aug 6, 2008
Messages
6,286
Location
Glasgow, Scotland
Car(s)
'77 Triumph Dolomite 1300 + '83 Triumph Acclaim
Due to to a hangover due to pre-race celebrations Team Seventies start is slightly late.

Although some hard driving is set to bring us up to the front!

Cpt Seventies: Are you in a fit condition to race?

Dan the Hobo: Dude... I..I found some stuff on the floor and I sortta' ate it.. dude...

Cpt Seventies: Looks like your perfectly normal, wheres the map?

Dan: Uhhh... oh shit... if you find a rest stop with a toilet you can have it back..

Cpt Seventies: :blink:... I'll use my own sense of direction thanks...
 

Richmondgal

Well-Known Member
Joined
Feb 19, 2008
Messages
2,858
Location
Melbourne, Australia
Car(s)
Still a Hyundai...but this time an i30
Richmondgal: Hey look! That's Captain 70s car!
Scotty: Let's pass them
*Overtakes*
Richmondgal: He doesn't look good
 

captain_70s

Forum Addict
Joined
Aug 6, 2008
Messages
6,286
Location
Glasgow, Scotland
Car(s)
'77 Triumph Dolomite 1300 + '83 Triumph Acclaim
Cpt. Seventies: Why won't the car go above 70mph... and why the trail of somke...

Dan: No idea man... I gave the engine beer to help it...

Cpt. Seventies: Oh shi...

:BAAAAAAAAAANNNDDDRRRRPPRRRRPSSSSSS:

The car grinds to a halt, smoke billowing out of the engine...

Cpt. Seventies: Looks like its time to break out the tool kit...
 

Richmondgal

Well-Known Member
Joined
Feb 19, 2008
Messages
2,858
Location
Melbourne, Australia
Car(s)
Still a Hyundai...but this time an i30
Richmondgal: where is everyone?
Scotty:...Look, you're now going at 250kph.
Richmondgal: I don't care. Where is everyone else?

(OT: I think i'll leave it there until someone else is up since everyone has gone to bed and it's lunchtime here.)
 

cdbob

Well-Known Member
Joined
Dec 1, 2006
Messages
2,094
Location
Edmonton, Canada
Car(s)
'09 STi (soon gone),'04 TDi, '96 MX-5 M
Team F.A.I.L. has been hard at it for the past 10 hours and is happy to report they have averaged an unbelievable 7 kph.

The team remains optimistic of a last place finish.
 
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racingfan1

Well-Known Member
Joined
Feb 13, 2007
Messages
3,387
Location
Hendersonville, TN USA
Five and a quarter hours after Von Smythe pulled a brake check on me, the car is almost ready to get back under way. All that remains is to fire up the nuclear reactor and make sure everything is hooked up properly. We've even managed to fix the reactor so that it will give 100% power, instead of the 25% we were running on after make-shift, on-the-fly repairs.
 

racingfan1

Well-Known Member
Joined
Feb 13, 2007
Messages
3,387
Location
Hendersonville, TN USA
Finally, after 6 hours of repairs, Team RF1 is back underway. The crew worked their asses off to get us back out ahead of schedule, and Team Owner is behind the wheel to make sure the car is driven to the max. All weapons systems are green, and now that the reactor's at 100% capacity, recharge times are minimal.

Catching up won't be easy, but we're confident we can make it before the final stretch of the race.
 

Cryptopygia

Well-Known Member
Joined
Feb 19, 2007
Messages
3,603
Location
The Eastern state where you can't fill your tank
Car(s)
Whichever car is still working
Jessie: It's kind of boring driving without a co-driver who's awake...

*gives the bike a little too much throttle*

WHOA! Calm down, Jessie, you've still got 12 hours to go.

*Sees a small diner in the distance, realizes she is getting hungry*

Eh, VonSmythe can wait for a good meal...
 

racingfan1

Well-Known Member
Joined
Feb 13, 2007
Messages
3,387
Location
Hendersonville, TN USA
Team Owner has handed driver duties off to Marvin, as he's an android and doesn't sleep. While being paranoid and slow, we have confidence he can keep at our current pace, and catch the field , and with it, Von Smythe. :evil:
 

LeMans GTR

Well-Known Member
Joined
Dec 20, 2006
Messages
4,910
The Zonda and veloceRACING are cruising through the FinalGear tunnel

Me: Where's everyone else, or are we just really far ahead.....or behind
Lara: We'll fuck this, (Activates Portal)
Me: Do you hate VonSmythe this much?
Lara: Damn right. (Enters coordinates)

The Zonda fires a portal in front and exits through the other end behind VonSmythe

MISSILES: ARMED/LOCKED ON/FIRE

(WOOSH! The nukes punch a hole inside VonSmythe's Rolls before slowly exploding inside the cabin)
 

vikiradTG2007

Forum Addict
Joined
Feb 8, 2007
Messages
11,084
Location
The country UKIP is scared of
Car(s)
Working on it
Repairs are now complete, thanks to some help from another team, but we've lost an enormous amount of time. We're in last place, far far far far far far away from the rest of the field.


Okay guys, it's time to forget about reliability concerns and just thrash the h*ck out of this thing. ONWARDS!


EDIT: It's only been 22 minutes and we're already closing in on the main pack, passing the Metro and seeing that it has been running more reliably than us so far.
 
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darkshark0159

Well-Known Member
Joined
Dec 24, 2007
Messages
1,904
Location
Guildford, Surrey, Yoo Kay
Car(s)
Mercedes-Benz C240 W203, British Rail Class 450
"Sir, reports indicate that a small nuclear explosion occurred about a mile away, where one of our holographic projection decoys was located. The road is blocked by debris."
"Hmph! What a feeble assassination attempt. I expected something more original. I shall instruct the Gro?reich Ministry of Propaganda and Misinformation to spread the word of the Entente's stupidity and weakness. Continue ahead, Wadsworth. Full speed."
"Right away sir!"
 
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