Wacky Races: The Road Warriors (Postponed due to empty grid)

Richmondgal

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Yeah seriously, where is everyone? This is one of the best things ever to have existed. Or at least one of the top 5 on this site.
 

PaperBiro

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Random minion: No, sir. The set designers all quoted prices way to high for our budget, and no nukes. We asked North Korea, but they got mad at us for insinuating that their hellhole is a post-apocalyptic hellhole, then said that Dear Leader would rise from the grave, design and construct his own car in a matter of days, and beat every other competitor in a perfect race. While bowling a perfect game at the same time.

The ghost of the Dear Leader has risen, entered and completed the race in 5 minutes whilst bowling a perfect game at the same time, but was disqualified because the race hasn't started yet. In response, zombie Dear Leader and his loyal nation shall wreck havoc on all the other competitors.

*not strictly an entry, but it does up the activity a little :)*
 

Conan

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Meanwhile, at Conan Engineering Team.

Edd China has finished welding and preparing the bare body of the Triumph Acclaim, it does requires a lot of structural rigidity as the standard Triumph shell is quite shit. And the upgraded parts does required a lot of modification to the mounting and sort, like the Triumph Dolomite engine which originally was design for rear wheel drive configuration. And extra petrol tank which require a whole new mounting point. He also hooked up the battery and solar panel to the motor, it works really well, we reckon unless it's going cloudy on race day, we'll be able to finish the whole race using only electric from the sun, and if it does goes cloudy, the battery can be charged up with the Dolomite engine, and if that fail too we can use the Dolomite engine itself.

I think to preserve even more fuel, not that we need it of course, it's probably won't be like a real apocalypse there'll be a lot of fuel (Still, I'd rather use the electric motor), and also to get some extra boooost, we can install the KERS system from stolen acquired Ex-Kimi R?ikk?nen Lotus-Renault Formula 1.


Left to do: Wiring loom, Suspension, Braking system, Interior, Paint, Put everything back together and Testing.
 
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Cryptopygia

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Little more than a week to go until race day. If you wish to enter (and you should), it's now or never...
 

CAPT_Howdy

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Oh, what the hell. The Combat Liason for International Tactical Off Road Interception & Surveillance wishes to formally enter the 2013 Wacky Races.

I've got a Pinzgauer that I am modifying for the race as we speak.

Oh, BTW - will the races be televised? Because if so, I'll have to paint over the logo on the side of my truck.
 
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Matt2000

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As many have predicted, Shothouse Racing have dropped the festive poetry writing because it was too much bloody hard work. :p

Much work has been happening in the Shothouse workshop since the Commer camper van was acquired, most of it involving holding up spare parts from previous race vehicles to see if they'll fit. They didn't. The beast has been cleaned up though and there's a possibility of an engine transplant, but that's up against an ice cream van conversion which would occupy the same space as the new engine. Ice cream is likely to win.

Regarding the co-driver, rumours have been flying about that Shothouse have kidnapped the apparently arrested Jim Davidson, much loved former presenter of Big Break. These are not yet confirmed, but there is also conflicting news that an animatronic Inspector Gadget has gone missing from a movie museum and Leslie Neilson's cryogenically frozen body has been stolen from the facility where he it was being stored. It isn't yet known if there's any connection between these two or if they could possibly be related to the actions of Shothouse racing yet but since this news studio is opposite the warehouse we might as well keep and eye out.
 

Conan

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Meanwhile, at Conan Engineering Team.

The wiring loom is a nightmare to do, but eventually it gets done and we set fire to the old one. We've also installed a new Air-con system so it's always blows out a cold air, you never know if the temperature is going to be hell hot in the race.

The suspension installation was a breeze, Edd China hired a competent welder to modified the mounting on the Triumph, so everything fits together really nicely.

At this point we installed the internal combustion engine and the electric motor, as well as connecting them to the petrol tank and battery, any other things were already wired up and connected. We got a sequential gearbox from Mini Countryman WRC rally car and converted this Triumph into an All wheel drive car. Although the internal combustion engine has very little power, it runs alright, we're only using it mainly as a generator anyway.

The braking system is from the old Volvo 244 Turbo from last year race. Hub, Servo, Discs, Calipers, Pipe, everything. Consist of Ferrari 412 front system and rear 1970s Range Rover system. Hopefully it'll be adequate for the Triumph Acclaim. (Which I think it will, I wouldn't told Edd to installed it if I think it won't, right?) We also make a new hub so the original steel wheels will fit. But then we realized that the brakes are too big, so we have to get some bigger steel wheels from somewhere else. New Pirelli tyres are also on.

We sent the seats and panels and carpet away for the finest upholstery, using leather that Rolls Royce uses in their cars. We got them for cheap. (Actually we nicked it from Goodwood plant, but don't tell anyone that). And wired up some bangin' stereo for me tunes!

We then painted the car in it's original silver colour. So no one assume it's a souped up Triumph.

We put everything backs together, from the outside it still looks like a shitbox, but the inside? Totally different story.

But then we realized we've run out of money, we didn't set the budget on making the car and we've blown all the reserve cash. So we can't install the defense and attack modification. Dammit.

Well some thick sheet aluminium will stop a bullet ... In my mind.
 

vikiradTG2007

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Due to the hopeless failure of the ouija boards and fake psychics in summoning Nicolae Ceausescu's ghost, we would like to announce that our team (from now on, titled Team Untitled Team) will be completing the race without any co-drivers. Unless we magically come across a hermit across the side of the road some time during the race.

The Dacia has been prepared for the race (in other words, our mechanic tinkered with it until it actually managed to fire up), we found some crappy off-road tires in a junkyard which fitted the narrow 13-inch steelies that look like tiny washing machine tumblers. Some suspension components that looked a little bit less rusty were sourced from the same junkyard. Actually, everything we managed to replace on the car came from a junkyard. Except for the mechanic, we found him in a garage next to the junkyard.

The car is now painted black, although rust flakes are already starting to show up through the 12 tons of paint we had to use in order to fully cover the body, as nothing would stick properly unless we threw a lot of it at the car. We sourced some spotlights for the night driving, but upon fitting them to the car, we realized there was no lightbulb inside any of them, and we had no wires left to connect them to the pathetic electrics of the car, spotlights would have burned out the whole car's electrics and grounded us without any chance of moving again without pushing power. Or a mule. Or a horse. Or a cow.

We're now looking forward to making it to the start of the race and trundling along in a glorious last place until the car eventually goes kablooey or falls apart after... oh, about 20 minutes?
 

Conan

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I reckon that the car is ready, so I went to the pub nearby...





... and this happened.




HPIM0959.JPG


I hope Edd China drove the car away from the fire, but apparently he went away to do a new episode of Wheeler Dealers.


Also it turns out some idiot didn't put the fire we used to burn the Lucas Wiring loom out.
 
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CAPT_Howdy

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At Team C.L.I.T.O.R.I.S., work is proceeding apace on the Pinzgauer. We have run into a few problems, though. In order to fit the oversize tires, we had to lift the suspension - so now the center of gravity is above the truck's beltline. As a result, it is very easy to tip over. Accelerate, brake, or corner too hard, and the truck flips over. Looks cool, though. (Except when it's on its roof - then it looks as pathetic as an overturned tortoise.)

For a powerplant - well clearly the stock 4-banger wouldn't do. So we pulled the engine and transmission from one of our "trophy truck" Interceptors (Why didn't we use one of those? Because we're stupid, okay?) and tweaked it a bit. So now it can run - well, you'll just have to see. But when we called the tire manufacturer to see if their tires could handle the sustained speeds the truck is now capable of, first they laughed. Then they hung up the phone, thinking they were being "punked" or something, I guess.

On the co-driver front, we are still interviewing candidates. There's one guy who loves Pinzgauers - apparently they were built in his home town or something - and really wants to go. We'll see. Then there is this guy (We suspect he may be on drugs) who keeps calling us and saying he is the "CLIT Commander", which is ridiculous - our commander is in an office deep in the Pentagon and doesn't know or care about the race. How this asshole even found us is troubling, though.
 
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At Trolls Racing Team we're almost finish installing I6 turbo 377 bHP engine from lotus carlton, The Best GM car ever. 6 speed manual. Lotus-tuned suspension.
By welding some bodywork to make Lada stronger, We can put 3-axis winch in front&rear bumper which controlled manually. This winch can approch in any direction, Back-Forth, Left-Right, Up-Down by pushing rod machanical.
We also put some budget gadget such as a very bright spotlight on rear bonnet, Highly strong magnet on both side of doors and fire extinguisher. That's not fancy as a bond's car because we already spent a lot money to modify bodywork.
 

Conan

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I've contacted the insurance company, I get about 200$ for the workshop and 400$ for the car... So I've got a total budget of 600$ to get and do the new car, without any workshop, and with just 6 days before the race started...


But Conan Engineering Team shall never give up! I've already bought a new car already for just 100$! And here it is.

rover1z.jpg

An old Rover P4.
(Picture stolen shamelessly from public).

And we got 500$ left to do it up in 6 days.
 
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Conan

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Forgot about that, Thanks. :p


While 500$ can get some working motor, we've decided that none of those will be sufficient for the race application. So we think of a plan and we got one. We break into Castle Bromwich Assembly in Birmingham and steal some engine and parts, But all we manage to get is a Jaguar AJ-V6 3-litre Engine, and the P4 weigh 1 and a half ton, but as this particular example has a weight reduction kit (In form of rusty body panels.) We reckon it'll be good enough. Of course the original 4 speed manual won't fit and probably not going to last the race, but we also nicked a ZF 6 speed automatic normally fitted to an XF, so we mated it to the V6.

We then separated the body and the chassis, as the engine requires a lot of engine mount modification. And working without a body is much easier. We have found not really surprising amount of rust. and we aren't going to fix them. (Race cars are light, rust makes the car lighter, fact). The engine and the gearbox went in. The gear knob that raise from the centre console is also fitted (We just cut the stolen center console of a Jaaag and place it on the bench seat, and wired them up). We then spend 400$ on a new wiring loom. The car fires up beautifully.

With 100$ left, we decided at this point not going to take it to the MOT, it'll required too much work to pass.

Suspension? We just put in some stolen new original spec leaf spring and shock absorber.

We then spend the 100$ on a new set of second hand Indian branded race tyres. And we've founded that it won't fit the original steel wheels, so we went out and found some shit Minilite that the tyres will fit.

It now runs, and will be able to compete, what could possibly go wrong?
 

Cryptopygia

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Reminder: the race starts this coming weekend at 5PM GMT. You have until then to enter.
 

Cryptopygia

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Reminder: 3 days to go until race day. You have until 5PM GMT this Saturday to enter.
 

Matt2000

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As Shothouse Racing take delivery of a freezer unit it has emerged that our earlier report contained an error. The kidnapped Leslie Neilson was not cryogenically frozen, he was dead and being transferred in a freezer of all things. Shothouse do have him however, and they combined it with the Inspector Gadget android. As if they didn't have enough to do, maybe Leslie Neilbot can help out with the heavy lifting.

So that seems to be co-driver confirmed, although it is yet to be seen if the mind of one wise cracking cop can be combined with the body of another without causing the world to explode. Also, there have been engine noises coming from the workshop, it seems that something is alive!
 

Richmondgal

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RG: We're just going to leave it as it is?

Freddy: Yep.

RG: Seriously?

Freddy: Well...

*lifts up the bonnet*

RG: How did you fit that fat engine into this?

Freddy: The fairies helped me

*deadpans Freddy*

Freddy: No really, they did...

*closes the bonnet*
 

Cryptopygia

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This is your two day warning. Entries will be accepted until the race thread is posted. I have magic wrenches on offer if you need to get your cars ready. Just hit the car with them, and done.
 

Cryptopygia

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I'm seriously considering postponing the race, since so few people have entered, and it looks like no-one else is interested/has the time to enter...

Should I postpone it, or or would you rather I go ahead anyway?

Edit: Screw it, I'm postponing it...
 
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