What do you consider to be a food crime?

I make mine in the oven, but I've seen it on menus as "Million Dollar" or "Millionaires" bacon.

Awesome if you add a little cayenne and black pepper. Also great with five-spice.
A BBQ is great for doing bacon. Ever heard of Pig Candy?

Strips of bacon grilled with brown sugar and maple syrup until the bacon is crispy and the sugars have caramelized - If they don't have Pig Candy in heaven, then I don't want to go.

I haven't had much luck with bacon and a BBQ. Ended up burnt because the fat kept catching fire. Does sound good though.
People who say that tofu is delicious because it absorbs the flavors of the dish. But...if an ingredient doesn't impart flavor, it is diluting the flavor concentration that is there, just as adding water which, well, waters it down...right? Am I taking crazy pills?
It depends on the dish, if you cook the tofu in a sauce or something before combining it with other ingredients then you are giving it flavor to bring to the dish.
If you're not adding the sauce itself, then yes...otherwise you're adding the same flavor, but increasing the dish's overall volume, reducing the sauce's overall impact.
Sometimes you just need protein in a dish so it's more than just a broth or a few vegetables on a plate. I don't know the secrets, but when I eat in Asia the tofu dishes are amazing.
People who cook (or just heat up) salmon a microwave in a shared space.
Another thought I had on tofu; most authentic Asian dishes I have had that contain tofu already are packed with flavor, especially chilies and chili oil. The dish accounts for the tofu's lack of flavor already - and trust me, adding more flavor isn't necessary.
Salmon should be steamed (by someone who knows what he/she is doing).
If you don't have the time/facilities to steam salmon, grilling it is acceptable. A cedar plank can add interesting flavor, but don't over-do it.
Any other methods are, in varying degrees, barbaric.

Edit: Lightly drizzle salmon with lemon juice and add just a bit of freshly ground black pepper.
Serve with a baked potato with butter and steamed or lightly grilled asparagus with hollandaise sauce.
The perfect meal!

2nd Edit: I just noted Blind_Io's post below. I will have to agree that (properly) poached salmon IS an acceptable 3rd method. :)

2 more cents out of my retirement account...
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But you missed poached salmon! Oh, there is little better in the world than a wild-caught salmon poached to perfection served with dill and lemon.
I'm not a fan of dill.
I do a lightly grilled, herb crusted salmon. In fact I just finished eating some. Delish!
Hot cucumbers. Cold? Delicious. Hot? Blech. It's not "hot as a cucumber".
Cucumbers taste like shit no matter how you prepare them. The closest they come to edible is after they've either been fermented with salt or soaked in vinegar for many months.
^ Eh? I eat salad cucumbers like other people eat apples.
They're nice and refreshing and need just a little bit of salt. Or some Hendrick's and a decent amount of tonic.
Stabbing someone with a sharpened carrot: definitely a food crime.
Cucumbers taste like shit no matter how you prepare them. The closest they come to edible is after they've either been fermented with salt or soaked in vinegar for many months.

While pickles are excellent, if you prepare cucumbers for salad and such the same way they do for sushi - by marinating them for an hour or so in rice wine vinegar with a little sugar - it gives them a fantastic flavor that works really well in lots of dishes. Without this, they just taste like chewy water.

Oh, and scooping out the watery flesh and seeds down the middle helps a ton.
...and if you get the "European" or "burpless" cucumbers, there are less seeds and more flesh to begin with.
Ice in Scotch....seriously kids, if it's to intense a flavor for you have a mild Bourbon, something Irish, or even a mild Scottich blend, nothing wrong with any of that.

If you really have to, just a drop of tepid water in a Scotch, never ICE, cold kills the flavour and aromas, and when it melts it's just to big a volume of water....

Tepid beer whithout a head on it, beer, (unlike whisky) needs to be FUCKING COLD....I realise this is a cultural thing, but Goddamn, it's the one thing in British culture I will never get used to.