What Top Gear is to Projects, I am to Cooking

vegasrebel29

Suckin' dic* bought this title
Joined
Mar 18, 2007
Messages
737
Location
Las Vegas
Car(s)
Chevrolet Silverado
So I decided that, for the first time in some time, I would cook my own breakfast. I mean, how hard can it be?

Very, apparently.

To begin with, I had to Google how to cook scrambled eggs. Even then, I'm pretty sure I got it wrong. I suppose they turned out ok, but I tasted far too much salt and butter.

Moving onward, I started the hash browns. More specifically, I started burning the hash browns. Oddly enough though in the end about half were uncooked and half were burnt.

At the same time, I cooked the sausages. They turned out ok, except they looked vile. There was also orange juice.

I wish I had taken pictures of the entire thing, but alas...
still, I did remember to post this thread, and ask for help.

Help!

Please.
 

Shawn

Lexus? Oh shi-
Joined
May 26, 2005
Messages
13,987
Car(s)
MkVI GTI w/DSG
Blast, I thought the spoiler tag would contain a gross yet funny picture.

Honestly man, if you can't even make scrambled eggs using directions, I don't see much hope. :p
 

Twerp128

Well-Known Member
Joined
Oct 6, 2006
Messages
3,662
Location
Indiana
Car(s)
'91 Miata, '09 Street Triple
Eggs
[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxV9QLuEwZo[/YOUTUBE]
If you want drier eggs like you get at a Ihop or something leave the eggs in the pan, cook on medium heat and every 10-20 seconds or so use a spatula to pull up the cooked eggs from the bottom of the pan and allow the uncooked eggs on top to drain to the bottom of the pan where they'll be cooked.

Hash Browns

They can be tricky, I'm assuming your using them from a bag. Just follow the directions. If you want something easy, try yankee potatoes. Just take a baked potato, slice it into 1/4" sections, heat 1 tbsp. olive oil in a pan (heat until warm but not smoking), season the potatoes with a pinch of salt and pepper, add to the pan and fry until brown on both sides. Essentially your just warming up a cooked potato.

Sausages

Assuming your using patties, same deal just place in a pan with warm olive oil so they don't stick. Heat until cooked, you'll know that when they are firm to the touch. Feel your palm a 1/2" below the thumb, this is what the cooked sausages should feel like. Or just cut one open and check for pink. Even easier buy a pack of smoky links and place in a pot of boiling water. If you feeling fancy, fry them in a couple tablespoons of melted butter over medium heat.

Buy this book, it is an all encompassing cookbook that will teach you how to cook everything, from hard boiled eggs to a chocolate souffle.
51i2X0m69qL.jpg
 

GTV V6

Well-Known Member
Joined
May 20, 2004
Messages
842
Location
Barcelona, Spain
Car(s)
Audi TT V6, Skoda Octavia vRS NX
Bolloxs to Ramsey...

Scrambled egg is a real piece of piss if you have a microwave.

Crack an egg into a microwaveable container, add a splash of milk, a knob of butter and some pepper, beat up a bit...

Another rule of thumb is "Sod the salt", you can always put on a bit when you've finished if you feel like it and it doesn't usually add to the flavour while cooking and tastes the same if you put it on afterwards (Boiling pasta is another story though)

Nuke for about 30 seconds.

Take out and stir a bit,

Nuke for 30 seconds more.

If you like soggy scrambled eggs, you should be set, if not you might like to nuke it again for a bit.

Whatever you do put the scrambled egg on toast and eat straight away, cold scrambled egg is Bleugh.

You WILL be surprised at the end result, I was. And if not, well you've wasted one egg.

As for the rest, frying is an art, use a medium heat, this tends to cook things through while not burning too much, It might take a while longer, but it's better in the long run.

Time things by putting slower cooking items (sausages) on first, moving on to faster cooking stuff (bacon) later.
 
Last edited:

Dogbert

Helsinki Smash Rod
Joined
Nov 15, 2008
Messages
6,458
Location
N38? 43', W90? 22'
Car(s)
Roger Dean's Rocks
Buy this book, it is an all encompassing cookbook that will teach you how to cook everything, from hard boiled eggs to a chocolate souffle.
Is there an online version of this?

I, too, am completely rubbish at cooking, or even being creative with what I want to cook. However, I'm tired with spending too much on eating out and my groceries consisting mostly of ready-made meals, so I'd like to start cooking. Is there a site like drinksmixer, except for food?
 

Punisher Bass

He who drives a Buick
Joined
Feb 25, 2007
Messages
3,488
Location
St Louis, MO
Car(s)
98 Buick Park Avenue Ultra
So I decided that, for the first time in some time, I would cook my own breakfast. I mean, how hard can it be?

Very, apparently.

To begin with, I had to Google how to cook scrambled eggs. Even then, I'm pretty sure I got it wrong. I suppose they turned out ok, but I tasted far too much salt and butter.

Moving onward, I started the hash browns. More specifically, I started burning the hash browns. Oddly enough though in the end about half were uncooked and half were burnt.

At the same time, I cooked the sausages. They turned out ok, except they looked vile. There was also orange juice.

I wish I had taken pictures of the entire thing, but alas...
still, I did remember to post this thread, and ask for help.

Help!

Please.

Is there an online version of this?

I, too, am completely rubbish at cooking, or even being creative with what I want to cook. However, I'm tired with spending too much on eating out and my groceries consisting mostly of ready-made meals, so I'd like to start cooking. Is there a site like drinksmixer, except for food?

I suggest both of you check out my own cooking thread if you want to start learning how to cook for yourselves. http://forums.finalgear.com/food/killing-your-heart-with-punisher-bass-56k-go-order-pizza-27237/. I've already done several easy things for breakfast, but also a couple dirt cheap meals as well with more on the way.

You can also go to YouTube and search for episodes of a show called Good Eats, Alton Brown can be a guiding light for people who are inept at cooking.
 

darkshark0159

Well-Known Member
Joined
Dec 24, 2007
Messages
1,903
Location
Guildford, Surrey, Yoo Kay
Car(s)
Mercedes-Benz C240 W203, British Rail Class 450
How to make a full breakfast. It's not that hard. People a quarter of your age do it.
[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9JVJS89We_I[/YOUTUBE]
 

NooDle

Ik ben niet alleen lekker met kaas!
Joined
Jul 20, 2005
Messages
10,342
Location
Belgium
Car(s)
Kia EV6 "Mullet"
^yeah don't listen to GTV6. Microwaves are only good for reheating yesterdays leftovers.
for making eggs, you either get tasteless sloppy goopy runny eggs, or a slab of hard rubber
 

Ironlord

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jun 1, 2006
Messages
812
Location
A dark cave in Sherwood Forest
Scrambled eggs, when they're done properly, should be creamy and mostly solid. Cook them too long and they'll be like rubber (in other words, completely solid), cook them for not long enough and they'll have the consistency of vomit.

Delia Smith made a "back to basics" cookery book (and TV series) a few years back, and the only major mistake was her scrambled eggs, which were of the vomit variety above. She was openly lambasted for this by Anthony Worrall Thompson, who showed us all how to make scrambled eggs perfectly. I follow his guidelines, except I don't use any salt or pepper - there's no need for it.

Get a bit more experience and you'll be ready to have a go at Ainsley Harriott's Meals In Minutes. Say whatever you like about his oh-so-wacky TV persona, but I will not hear a word against his cooking!
 
Top