What's your nightmare three car garage?

CraigB

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Just as the title says, what three cars would you absolutely hate to see in your driveway each day? (Yes, I stole this idea from Jalopnik.)

I'll start.

#1 - Coda electric car

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What could possibly be worse than an early electric car? One based on a generic Chinese sedan. Oh, with really bad electronics too.

#2 - Pontiac Sunfire convertible

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I can feel the cowl shake while sitting here. Late J-body convertible, in that exact color? Can I trade it for a bicycle?


#3 - Hummer H2

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Oh boy, this has to be my last favorite thing ever built. Take a run of the mill GM SUV, fit it with a body that vaguely looks like the military version of it's namesake and you have this steaming pile. I'd rather take the Sunfire...
 

Matt2000

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Interesting idea, going to have to think about this. My answers might upset some people. :LOL:

If you don't like the Coda you wouldn't like the Aging Wheels channel very much as not only does he have 3 Codas but he has an EV that's even worse - the Wheego. It's also an early EV based on a Chinese car but both elements are that little bit more shit.
 

CraigB

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Interesting idea, going to have to think about this. My answers might upset some people. :LOL:

If you don't like the Coda you wouldn't like the Aging Wheels channel very much as not only does he have 3 Codas but he has an EV that's even worse - the Wheego. It's also an early EV based on a Chinese car but both elements are that little bit more shit.

I wouldn't know about the Coda of it weren't for him. That's why I decided I wouldn't want one. 😬
 

Matt2000

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I wouldn't know about the Coda of it weren't for him. That's why I decided I wouldn't want one. 😬
Ah OK, I'm intrigued about why you would consider the Coda worse than the Wheego. 😀

Right, so my selection: The Bland and the Boringest. I can respect pretty much any car that's interesting, even if it's objectively bad, so having 3 boring cars would just be the end of me. Even the standard PT Cruiser is too whacky for me to really hate it.

#1 - Hyundai Elantra

As seen in the Rusty Sh*tboxes thread - it's a block of expanding foam shaped like a car. Sure, it's reliable, but I would want to strangle myself with the seatbelt after being in any generation for 5 minutes. I would want to kill myself before getting into the whatever-generation-they-made-in-2005-I-can't-be-arsed-to-look-it-up model shown here:

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Lots of Americans probably have fond memories of them, I hate them. :p

#2 - Skoda Roomster

Not only is it as bland as eating a box of tissues, they had the cheek to bolt the front end of an otherwise good car onto the back end of van without any thought of design continuity. It's a big blot on in Skoda's otherwise tidy copybook and it looks even worse with a panoramic roof, bordering on Popemobile/kiddy car territory. Look at it!

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#3 - Toyota Prius

Remember the Honda Insight? Clever early EV? I don't recall that having anywhere near as much smugness associated with it. The Prius on the other hand was spreading smug all over the place for years despite being an awful pile of crap and as dull as sewage. Now they're old and broken and are just cluttering up the roads as ugly taxis. I hate self-charging hybrids.

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All three are FWD economy cars that have weedy little engines for the most part and the only interesting thought about them is which one I would crush first. Ssangyongs were close but crap from bigger manufacturers is worse.
 

73GMCSprint

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I hate these cars so much I can't be bothered to find pictures.

1. Mid-2010s Toyota RAV4. The worst car I've ever driven, period. Had one as a rental (maybe that was the problem). Besides being more vanilla inside than vanilla, it was horrible to drive. It was gutless. It had zero steering feel and even less brake pedal feel. And to make matters worse, it wandered all over the road (no, the wind wasn't blowing), which was made even worse by the utter lack of steering feel. It was difficult to keep in its lane on freeways and winding roads were downright terrifying. It is the only car I've driven that was actually scary to drive, and that's coming from someone who regularly drives a Jeep XJ and used to own a squarebody 4WD Chevy truck; at least you expect those to have bad manners at times.

2. Any Toyota Corolla. Nothing technically wrong with these but nothing is really right either. The Most Boring Car in existence. Back when I was looking for a small car I drove one for the sake of completeness. I went about 2 blocks and turned around. It was Just Wrong. An utter appliance and nothing more.

3. I could choose any of a number of bland econoboxes for this one, but I'll go with a Nissan Versa over the others for one reason: Ergonomics. The car worked fine but all the important touch points weren't quite where you'd think they would be. Every time I'd reach for the gear lever I'd miss by about an inch and a half, same with the window controls, the radio knobs, etc. etc. I'm on the taller side of average (6 feet), so it would have to be even worse for anyone with shorter arms. I thought I was going insane by the time I dropped the car back off at the rental agency.
 

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1) Rav4, oh yes, at least the 90's and 00's versions. The one we got here (which iirc is shorter than the US version) is fidgety and never ever settles down on the road. The default drivetrain was a manual 2-liter that only wakes up above 4000rpm or so. To make any sort of progress, you first need to change down to wake the thing up. Towing needs to be done in a low gear with the engine buzzing away because there simply is no guts at highway speed in fifth. I bet the diesels were way better, but I've never driven one. And a real engine wouldn't fix the driving characteristics anyway. Oh, and I almost forgot how the "tailgate" is a huge side-hinged door that opens towards the sidewalk. The door also has some brittle plastic parts that go so far down you need a detachable towbar. If you accidentally open the door with the towball attached you'll hear a nice CRACK when some plastic clips let go.

2) Nissan Qashqai. No, I'm not a crossover hater, far from it, but the ever-popular Qashqai attracts a certain type of driver. In the countryside they're trundling along under the speed limit holding up caravans, horseboxes and lorries. In roundabouts they're always stopping instead of grabbing the huge gap that would've been big enough for both of us. Freeway on-ramps are handled with a quarter throttle. Cars already on the freeway are expected to brake and/or change lanes. Bonus points for starting to brake before before merging to the offramp.

The first generation is badly put together, as if the brits that built it suddenly remembered the old Leyland days. When the doors freeze in winter (as happens on all cars) and you need to use a bit of brute force, you end up ripping the door seals off. The tailgate doesn't have this issue, though. What happens instead is that the handle comes off. I also heard that the plastichrome on the inside door handles starts to peel and cuts your fingers.

I guess the second generation Qashqai fixed most of these bodywork issues, but don't worry, they fitted it with an engine that throws its timing chain at 60k km and unless you serviced it at the dealer (60k km, that's two oil changes) Nissan won't help you.

3) I'm actually having troubles coming up with a third nightmare car, but let's just say anything that's too cheap and cheerful. I know gearheads appreciate the first gen Twingo, but to me it's a good example of a car where the first owner would've been better off with a used Clio. The indicator goes "bip bip bip" because fitting a device that can go both "bip" and "bop" would've been another €0,03 or something.
 

Tram

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Okay, let's see. I must admit, I've never thought about what'd be the worst thing I could end up driving, but here are three cars I would actually mind having in my hypothetical garage.

#1 - Chevrolet Aveo T250

pictures_chevrolet_aveo_2006_1.jpg


I knew a Korean car from late '90s or early-to-mid 2000s would end up on this list. Especially if it's a Daewoo, or in this case, a Daewoo rebadged as a Chevrolet. These cars might not be that bad, but there's literally nothing that would draw me to actually buy one of these. They look bland, they probably drive blandly as possible, and the build quality is still crap on these.

I also knew a GM product would end up on this list. I thought about putting an Opel Combo B/C here, because I absolutely loathe those ever since I drove one, but at least they're (somewhat) practical, which isn't something I'd say about a supermini sedan from mid 2000s. Bonus points for this being one of the least safe cars when sold new.

I thought about putting a picture of the hatchback, because that has to be one of the ugliest cars ever made, but this one is just so bland looking, I wouldn't take a second look at it. I always found it bizarre that they replaced the then-three-year-old sedan, which had an actual EuroNCAP rating with this abomination, which utterly failed the same test. Also, the design is a step backwards from the Italdesign-designed predecessor. Have I mentioned how bland it looks?

#2 - Dodge Nitro

2011-dodge-nitro-2wd-4-door-heat-angular-front-exterior-view_100332706_l.jpg


I had a hard time picking an American crossover from 2000s here. Chevrolet HHR? It looks kinda funky, in a good way. Dodge Durango? At least it's spacious. Dodge Caliber? I think there's something charming about it, probably because a neighbour had one when I was a kid. Ford Edge? They're kinda interesting, probably because we never had them here. Pontiac Aztek is sort of a meme car right now, and I can't think of any other contenders right now.

The Dodge Nitro, on the other hand? I'm trying to come up with something positive about this car, but I can't. Is it practical? It doesn't exactly look so. Is it quirky looking? Yes, but in a bad way. Is it interesting? I wouldn't say so. I just don't see the reason why I'd even take a second look at one of these, so on the list it goes.

#3 - Lifan 320 (or any other bland-looking copycat car from China)

lifan-320-azul.jpg


As much as I didn't want to include anything particularly obscure here, as I generally find those cars interesting and unique, there were just too many reasons to include this here.

Where do I start? The lawsuit-inducing design? The shoddy build quality? The unavailability of parts? The driving experience which can't be anything better than mediocre? The fact it'd be probably impossible, and perhaps even illegal to import one here?

As I said, it would be interesting to have something like that, just for the bizarreness factor, but the problems it'd bring would mean it's just taking up space in garage and sit there rotting, without any use for it.

Okay, that's it, from the top of my head. I know I could've done a better list if I took more time, but then, that rabbit hole would take way too much time. This is good enough for start. If I come up with three even worse cars, I'll make sure to post again in this thread.
 

Perc

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The Dodge Caliber should definitely have been on my list. How could I forget?
 

DanRoM

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That's a difficult question. My personal experience is limited to a very small number of cars, but some of them I would not ever want to drive again. But this way, we'd end up with a Hyundai Getz, a Seat Terra (and by extension Fiat Panda and Seat Marbella) and a VW Polo 6N.

So, I'll try to be more creative.

  • The Hyundai Getz has to stay there. This car is horribly bad to drive, and the seats resemble garden chairs so you actually need your seatbelt to avoid sliding off the seat in corners. I have a special hate for this car because my parents decided to buy one without consulting me first... probably they didn't because I would have tried to talk them out of it.
  • First gen Toyota Prius. Kudos for Toyota for leading the hybrid pack, but... well, just look at it. Most of the soap-shaped GM models of the 1990s look more appealing. And my educated guess it that it's also horrible to be in and awful to drive.
  • Aston Martin Lagonda. Given the two other cars in the garage, this is the one I'd always want to drive, but chances are that it'd be broken and I couldn't. And if it runs, you have a comical designed very large car that's a nightmare to use in city traffic. :D
 

Perc

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IIRC the Lagonda has a mechanical odometer under the bonnet because nobody trusted the electronic odo on the dashboard to stay working.
 

CraigB

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Ah OK, I'm intrigued about why you would consider the Coda worse than the Wheego. 😀

I only started watching his videos last year some time. He's mentioned the Wheego and down it a few times, but I don't think it's actually run in the time I've been watching. 🤣
 

93Flareside

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This is hard, so many cars I don’t like…

Dodge Caliber, is it a hatchback? Is it a Sedan? Is it a small Crossover? CVT? of course! 2.4L with less power and mileage than a turbo 1.8T? perfect!
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Chevy Lumina. But for me this car will encompass all FWD GM cars from about mid-late 80s-2013. I hate them all and think they are a stain on society. They are not fast, good performing, and every one of these generation of cars seemingly can never have a working muffler, so they just make this mid-frequency "bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh" noise that rattles your chest when near you.
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Ford Fiesta Sedan. A car built because "Americans like sedans"

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Nissan Rogue. Which this encompasses all Nissan crossovers for me. They're neither good nor bad, have boring engines, outdated interiors, driven by overweight middle aged women with poor road manners.
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Ford Expedition. This effectively was the replacement of the Bronco and was worse in every way. Crap engine, corroding tailgates, shit interior, leaky sunroof, peeling paint, and bad exhaust manifolds, you hear these cars before you see them thanks to exhaust tick.
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Dodge Caravan. Lifter tick, paint comes off in sheets, and the sliding doors were so hard to move. They didn't slide nicely at all.
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90s Caprice. These make my irrationally angry when I see one on the road while also giving me creeper middle age man in a white t-shirt vibes.
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Both generations of the Taurus before the resurrection in the 20010s. Don't last long, have myraid of problems, expensive suspension repairs so you often see second gens like this model with collapsed rear suspension.
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Chevy Trailblazer/GMC Envoy. The shape of an SUV but there's no way that's going off road. Guys my age buy these because they're cheap, mod them especially with putting those FUCKING TERRIBLE "WHITE" HEADLIGHT BULBS in that just end up blinding everybody and are driven like dicks.
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1992-1997 Crown Victoria. Looks frumpy, had an unreliable intake manifold that is prone to leaks, real crap interior. They were trying in my mind to make a full sized body on frame car from the what... 70s? to appear smaller than it was with those thin front and rear.
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2 different generations of Dodge Durangos. I don't mind the current model, that's a very nice car.

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US market VW Passat or NMS Platform Passat in case the Passat is ever updated in the US. All this is, is a bigger Jetta with suspension tuned for the US road network. I've driven these and they drive well if a slight on the floaty side, I get what they were aiming for. That said, I would feel like I've given up on life if I get one of these.
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Hyundai Sonata, specifically, this generation. What made someone think simultainously someone wanted a car with eyes that have no eyebrows and a fat belly being pushed forward? You can lump the Hyundai Azerea in there as they're mostly the same just that is a little bigger.
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Honda Accord
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Toyota Corolla - The only redeeming factor is these is bascially the worlds fastest rental car. I have a strong distaste for all things Toyota as they all seem to have a smell of cats or litter box to me inside. And these cars echo like a van, it's so weird.
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Kia Rio
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Kia Forte
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Maybe that's enough for now. I can't decide on what 3 car garage, I hate all of these equally.
 

gaasc

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I am extremely offended by that post. How dare you!? :p

At any rate. I consider a nightmare something that would be nice at first glance, and then if you stop and think about it is awful. All of us could list awful cars, but this is something that would be nightmarish for us. Henceforth, my list:

The Citroen ZX:

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I've gone on record saying that if I must suffer through the abject misery of French Car ownership in this continent, I should at least get something in return. A piece of that Gallic insanity stemming from a steadfast refusal of doing things properly. A DS, XM, CS, hell, even an early GS would fit the bill. This most assuredly would not

The Alfa Romeo GTV (90s)

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Same thing. If I am going through the trouble to deliberately buy italian...from the Alfa roster it may be something like a fun and fizzy (in driving as well as water-dissolving) Alfasud or the Alfa 164, which is absolutely magnificent to behold even if it is so unreliable it has cost at least one person's job (again, this continent). And, of course, I would be remiss if I didn't mention the original GTV.

The Mercedes 600

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I was originally going to put something like an Oldsmobile 98 or a Pontiac Parisenne here. An American Full-size sedan that you would think would be fun and easy to maintain and interesting to me until you remember they have mechanical and interior bits that are much more difficult to find than the "normal" Chevrolet or Cadillac counterparts. However, those problems can be easily solved by an engine swap. It'll be expensive and you would lose originality, sure, but it's a single five-digit expenditure.

The 600 does not have that luxury. I can just see myself after a year or so of ownership opening the garage door not excited that I will have a ride in a car that I absolutely adore and that is an actual embodiment of old Mercedes-Benz's commit of Das Beste oder Nichts and fuck the cost. But instead worrying that I will find it on the floor, swimming on a puddle of its own fluids. What leaked? where is it? will it be just a hose? do I have to just replace that hose? they wear at roughly that same time, do I have to replace all hoses? the couplings? Did I absentmindedly close the trunk by hand? Every creak, every squeak, Every sound that could be attributed to the hydraulics would immediately be registered as "oh god did something break!?" It's not like it would even be nice to look at while I'm getting it fixed. It rather just looks like a W109 that is parked closer to you than it actually is.


All of that being said, I think that the 600 is still a bit of a copout. The GTV and the ZX are damned by writing checks their pedigree or styling cannot cash. The 600, and indeed all of the vehicles I suggested as alternatives to to ownership of the other two, would be actually pleasant to own provided that you have another, slightly more boring but dead-reliable car to ferry you around to work and parts hauling while you sorted out their tantrums.
 
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Perc

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Citroen just couldn‘t win in those days. They finally made a reliable car with styling that appealed to the masses, and people hated it because of those reasons. 😂
 

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Sportage (1).jpg

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Vauxhall_Mokka_X_(1).jpg


The Kia Sportage, Nissan Juke and Vauxhall Mokka. The most AN CARS of all AN CARS, identifiable only by their sheer lack of interesting features, the crazy number of them on the roads and the obnoxiously oblivious people who drive them.

Not only does ownership offer you into the world of anonymous smol SUV ownership but it announces to the world that not only do you not care about motoring, you care so little about motoring all prior interest in motoring you may have had in the past has been wiped clean. You hand over £200+ a month and in return you get an automotive experience akin to driving your refrigerator with an overstressed 1.6 desperately relying on it's turbo to haul your lardy chariot around as you squint through the pillar box windows as you do 50mph in the middle lane of the motorway/50mph in a 30 zone* as your car instigates a full brain switch off as soon as your arse hits the seat.

*Delete as applicable
 

Matt2000

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Perc

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The Coda looks a lot like a Chevrolet Nubira, one of the cars we got here when GM made a half-assed attempt at establishing Chevrolet in Europe. I think even the Nubira had better quality than the Coda though.

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