Worst thing to hear over a tannoy system?

Matt2000

An Unfortunate Discovery
DONOR
Joined
Feb 17, 2006
Messages
18,135
Location
Four from the top and two from the third row, UK.
Car(s)
'12 MX-5 PRHT, '02 Freelander, '90 Disco 1 Bobtail
Suggestions please. :) Kinda nicked this from a friend and Mock The Week

I'll start with:

"Only you can hear me"

Must be some good ones out there, I have faith in you guys and gals. :D

edit: fixed the title for some people. ;)
 
Last edited:
in really bad german-sounding english:
"may the driver of the red porsche with the english number plate please report to the ringb?ro, I believe your car is burning..."
 
"Johnny! What are we going to do?!?" (In a scared type voice)
 
I think the Chasers did it best at the airport at the end of this clip:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYmk2eseNFw[/youtube]
 
"This train is now stopping in Slough. End of the line, ladies and gentlemen, please leave the train here at Slough."
 
Suggestions please. :) Kinda nicked this from a friend and Mock The Week

I'll start with:

"Only you can hear me"

Must be some good ones out there, I have faith in you guys and gals. :D


Can we get a translation for those that don't speak Nannystate?
 
Can we get a translation for those that don't speak Nannystate?

He has slightly stolen a game from the UK TV "comedy" programme, Mock The Week. In the programme, the guests are given a title, and have to improvise something around it. Previous examples have included "Bad things for Gordon Brown to say to the nation", "Bad things to hear on a tannoy system", "Things unlikely to be said in the last Harry Potter book" and so on.

In this case, he wants us to suggest "the worst thing to hear over a tannoy system", be it in a store, in public transport or wherever.
 
"Ralph, It's Heather. I've done a lot of thinking and I think it's time we break it off. I thought we'd be alright after we got that prescription, but after the pills didn't work, I've felt rather unsatisfied. I hope you understand. We can still be friends though, can't we?."
 
"Good evening passengers. We're currently cruising at-- Oh shit... Smoke 'em if you got 'em."

I'm going to assume "tannoy system" is a PA (Public Address) system?
 
Last edited:
And now, a message from our sponsors:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltMOp-t-PIA[/youtube]
 
Quite simple really, all you have to say is:
"Ladies and Gentlemen, we would ask you to please head over to your nearest exit. Please remain calm. Whatever you do, do not panic. Because .... THERE'S A DAMN BOMB IN THE BUILDING!!"

And now, a message from our sponsors:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltMOp-t-PIA[/youtube]

:mad::idiot:
 
And now, a message from our sponsors:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltMOp-t-PIA[/youtube]

http://img247.imageshack.**/img247/9528/theringtc3.png
 
"Janitorial to the lingerie department please, janitorial to the lingerie department thank you."

"Good evening passengers we are currently cruising at 10,000 ft no excuse me 9,000 feet at a speed no wait we're at 8,000 ft?"

"If you look out the right side of the aircraft you'll see a lovely view of the Rocky Mountains and if you look out the left side you'll see an engine fire. "
 
Try the new Totter and Tomb Burger in our food court. Fresh taters, toddlers, tomato, lettuce, all on our signature bun. Taste good enough to kill for, good taste we had to kill for.

Will Pat Smear, will Pat Smear please meet your party at the customer service kiosk

Happy holidays and enjoy 30 percent off at the Bondage Basement on the lower level...Jesus bill I said pull out now I'm going to have cum stains on ass all ...shit is this thing still...Will Pat Smear, will Pat Smear please meet your party at the customer service kiosk.
 
"Welcome aboard Flight 2-0-9'er, I'm Captain Over. As soon as we reach our cruising altitude the stewardesses will take your dinner order - I recommend the fish."

"There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?"
 
Top