As we all know Jeremy Clarkson is a very respected and talented journalist who is one of three hosts of the British automotive show, Top Gear. As a host on top gear, he?s expressed his opinions without any sugar coating. He?s insulted Americans, Europeans, Japanese, women, etc. But one group of people who he should love, bikers, makes Clarkson steam at the ears. I?ve seen two episodes where Clarkson puts bikes against cars. The first of which is an old one, in which a 996 Carrera 4 driven by Jason Plato beats a Yamaha R1 driven by Niall Mackenzie around Thruxton. The Porsche wins by a landslide, and it makes the biker and bike look like a fool in the process. At the time, I didn?t think anything of it. Alright, cars have more grip than bikes. What?s the big deal?
He later pitted an Ariel Atom against a Honda CBR600RR. Once again, the car embarrassed the bike. As usual, Clarkson didn?t add the advantages of bikes: he just panned them as second rate forms of travel. At this point, I was convinced bikes were much slower than cars around tracks. Later on, I saw a couple of videos done by Fifth Gear. The first of which had a Ducati 999 (not the R or S version, mind you) beat a Lamborghini Gallardo around a track. I found this odd, because according to what I saw with Jeremy Clarkson and his tests, the Gallardo should?ve wiped the floor clean with the 999. Next, Tiff drives a Mosler around a track against the same 999. Naturally, the race bred Mosler beats the 999, but only by a narrow margin. Later on, I saw a Suzuki GSX-R1000 fall to a race ready Westfield XRT4. But again, it was a narrow, narrow margin. What?s even more interesting is that the bike could?ve gone more than a second quicker if the suspension had been adjusted to the rider?s specifications. Now, the people on fifth gear make a big fuss about how vehicles should come from the factory already set and such, but the fact of the matter is that the suspension has to be adjusted from rider to rider. Either way, I found it odd that an R1 was destroyed by a 280hp 911, while a 500hp Gallardo gets beat by a bike that has more weight and less horsepower than an R1. Something is fishy about that.
Jeremy Clarkson hates bikes, and he makes that fact apparent by embarrassing, insulting and destroying them on his show and others. He probably went as far as to rig a few heads up races just to prove his point. But why? Why does he hate bikes? He loves everything mechanical, from steam ships to commercial jet liners to super cars to space craft. So why single out bikes? This question was on the mind of many, and it was answered in an interview he had this month with BIKE magazine. The title read ?Why Clarkson Hates Bikes?. Naturally, I bought the magazine and ran through directly to the article. What I read was a text book case of a man hating something because he fears it.
BIKE magazine asks him, flat-out, ?why do you hate bikes?? You could see through this man the second you read his first sentence. First off, he claimed he doesn?t like the sound. He said that modern superbikes are too high pitched and grating. Now, at the end of this article, his co-hosts are interviewed as well. Both James May and Richard Hammond say he?s full of it. He loves the sound of anything mechanical, including formula 1 cars and high pitched four bangers. So his claim to not liking the sound is probably a lie. The second reason he gave was the fact that he couldn?t like bikes because his co-hosts did. Now, this is just plain crap. I?m not going to hate ice cream just because my best friend loves it, even if it did piss them off.
He goes on mocking bikes and bikers in typical Jeremy Clarkson fashion. He states that he was never around bikes as a kid, and he just never had an interest in them. Later on, however, an interesting confession comes out.
?The first time I ever rode a bike was at Silverstone in the mid-nineties?and I did 100 yards and fell off it. Well, I didn?t fall- I rode into a metal railing that I couldn?t see because the sun was setting right in front of me. And that really hurt- I mean properly hurt. So I thought ?Sorry, I?m not really interested in this at all. I?ve spent 20 years in a car; never fallen off once. So I?ll go back to cars?
-Jeremy Clarkson
Bingo! He?s afraid to get on a bike because he had a bad experience, and he won?t admit his fear. He hides it by blasting bikes and portraying them as inferior to cars and just about anything else. As just about anyone can tell you, once you ride a bike, you want to do it over and over and over again. You become hooked. However, if your first experience is a mess like Clarkson?s, then you?ll never get on the back of one ever again for fear of crashing.
What?s even more interesting is that he mentions he doesn?t like the look of bikes. He thinks they?re not aesthetically pleasing. Too many parts sticking out. This brings us back to his hatred and fear of anything mechanical. You see, motorcycle design has been based around the engine for the past hundred years or so. The engine is the heart and soul, so designers like to incorporate its mechanical beauty into the design. But Jeremy Clarkson doesn?t like engines, and if he doesn?t like engines, he?s not going to like bikes. He wants clean lines and sheet metal to cover up to ?ugly bits?.
So there you have it. I think Jeremy Clarkson hates bikes because they scare they hell out of him, and he?s too proud to admit his fear. Perhaps this personality trait is the cause for his hatred of America or the French. Maybe he?s jealous? Either way, I hope you all understand the reason Jeremy Clarkson has such strong opinions. I think he?s hiding emotions in which he doesn?t want to bring to light. He?s damn good at covering them up, though.
Alright, so here are the videos I mentioned, from the first to the last:
996 vs. R1 (isn't it odd how the R1 can catch up on the straight away with what seems to be a 1.5 second disadvantage, but then can't out accelerate the 911 after the chicane?)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXQTzxepYjg
CBR-600RR vs. Ariel Atom
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CtDsAGd7uj8
Lamborghini Gallardo vs. 999
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qP_zP0pPdTk
Mosler MT900 vs. 999
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCHtEQVOXxk
Westfield XTR4 vs. GSX-R1000
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdjIG10D6kE