A DAY IN LIFE OF MR SMILEY
ONE DAY I WAS WALKING ALONG IN THE CITY AND IT NICE DAY WITH SUN OUT
. NEXT THING I KNOW MY FOOT FEELS FUNNY AND I LOOKS DOWN AND SEE I GOT GUM STUCK ON SHOE
. NO NOT REALLY IM JUST JOKING WITH YOU
. ACTUALLY I WAS ON MY WAY HOME CUS I WAS DOWNLODING A TOP GEAR EPISODE
. OF COURSE WHEN I GOT HOME I SAW THAT MY COMPUTER CRASHED AND IT DIDNT DOWNLOAD :? SO I HEAD OFF TO SEE MY FRIEND WHO GOT IT LAST NIGHT. I GOT IN MY CAR AND IT WOULDNT START
. TURNS OUT I FORGOT TO RECONNECT TEH BATTERY
LOL. WHEN BACKING OUT OF THE GARAGE I HEAR A BAD NOISE AND I AM CONFUSED
. WHEN I GOT OUT I RAN OVER NEIGHBOURS CAT
! THE OLD WOMAN WAS REAL MAD AT ME AND WANTED ME TO PAY A LOT OF MONET
BUT STRANGELY AFTER I AGREED TO PAY SHE JUST RAN INSIDE
. CRAZY OLD BAT :lol: . ANYWAY SO IM DRIVING AGAIN AND I CALL MY MATE AND HE SAYS HE HAS THE EPISODE I WANT
. I FELT HUNGRY AND ASKED HIM IF HE WANT ME TO PICK UP CHINESE AND OF COURSE HE SAYS YES
. I GO TO THE PLACE AND GET THE USUAL
AND ORDER UP. THE LATEST ON THEIR MENU IS KUNG PAO
LOL!!!!!!!! ANYWAY SO YUR NEVER GOING TO BELIVE WHO WALKED IN NEXT. IT WAS JEREMY CLARKSON
!!!!!!! HE CAME AND STOOD NEXT TO ME IN THE QUEUE AND I COULDNT EVEN TALK
! IT WAS SO EXCITING
!!!!! I REMEMBERD SEEING HIM AT TG LIVE WHICH WAS SO COOL CUS HE PLAYED THE DRUMS JUST LIKE ME
! IT WAS THE BEST
. OF COURSE THEN HE LEFT AND I REALISED I NEVR GOT AUTOGRAPH...
! NOW NO ONE BELIEVES ME AND ALL I HAVE AN AUTOGRAPH OF IS THAT STUPID MOUSE
AT DISNEY LAND. SO I GOT BACK IN MY CAR AND IM IN A HURRY CUS IM EXCITED TO TELL MY FRIEND WHO I SAW AND I RUN A RED LIGHT
. THEN CAME THE COPPERS
... OF COURSE IM SUAVE AND MANAGED TO GET OUT OF THE TICKET
. STILL, MY HEART WAS POUNDING
CUS I CANT AFFORD ANY MOR PNTS ON MY LICENCE. IM A FAST DRIVER, WELL FASTER THAN U COULD EVER GO
. THEN I PASSED THIS ADVERT SHOWING SOME NEW PICKUP. THE SLOGAN WAS "BIGGER. HARDER. LONGER. THE NEW FORD F-SERIES." AND I THOUGHT THERE WAS A DUAL MEANING IN THERE SOMEWHERE
. SO I ARRIVE AT MY FRIENDS HOUSE AND HE SAYS HIS POWER JUST WENT OUT
. IM NEVER GOING TO SEE THIS TG EPISODE
!!! WE GO OUT FOR A WALK WHILE WE WATE FOR THE POWER PEEPS AND WHILE WERE WALKING WE PASS SOME HOTT CHIX AND SAY HELLO
. THEY ALL TOLD US WE COULDNT COMPETE WITH HAMMO
AND THAT PISSED US OFF
. SO THEN MY FRIEND GOT A IDEA TO CUT HIS HAIR LIKE DA HAMSTA
. SO WHILE HE WAS SCREWING WITH HIS HAIR I GOT OUT THE FOOD. IT WAS GROSS
! SO BORED OUT OF MY MIND I PICKED UP MY MATES VIOLIN AND TRIED TO PLAY
. I SUXED AT IT
. OF COURSE WHEN MY FRIEND SAW ME PLAYING IT HE GOT UBER PISSED AND SAID I BROKE IT OR SOMETHING
. HE LOCKED
IT IN HIS ROOM WHAT A TWAT. SO THEN I THOUGHT ID FIND A WAY TO BREAK IN TO HIS ROOM FOR BEING THAT WAY
. IT HAD A DEAD BOLT :???: . BUT THEN I MADE A BREAKTHROUGH. HE LEFT THE HIDEA KEY UBOVE THE DOOR
! IT WASNT THE RIGHT KEY OR SOMETHING CUS IT NOT WORK
. THEN I DECIDE TO JUST SNEAK IN THROUGH THE WINDOW
. IT WORKED
! WHEN I ENTERED THO I SAW HE WAS TAKING A CRAPPER AND IT SMELLED GROSS
. AS SOON AS HE SAW ME HE FREAKED OUT AND FELL IN THE TOILET
. HAHA! THIS TIME HE LOCKED THE WINDOW
AND HE WAS REALLY PISSED OFF. IM NOT SURE IF HE WANTS TO BE MY FREIND ANY MORE
... I REMINDED HIM WAT A STUPID IDEA IT WOULD BE TO NOT BE MY FRIEND ANY MORE CUS THEN HE COULDNT DRIVE MY SPORTS CAR HA! HE GOT THE MESSAGE
. TIS A BMW
SO IS NICE! THOUGH LIKE I SAID I GET PULLED OVER A LOT BY POLICE
. ONE TIME MY FINE WAS 1000 :shock: !!! I TOLD THE OFFICER SOME STUPID JOKE TO SEE IF I COULD GET OUT OF IT AND THE RESULT WAS A GREAT
FROM HIM. THEN HE SAID SURE, I WAS GOING TO PRISON INSTEAD. SHIT. I WANTED OUT
. IT WAS SO HORRIBEL BUT I COULDNT GO HOME
. THE NEXT DAY THOUGH THE COURT LET ME OFF WITH A SLAP
. ANYWAY IM GETTING
SO
. RIGHT SO I WENT HOME AND TOOK A NAP
. WHEN I WOKE UP I REALISED THAT FIREFOX REMEMBERED MY SITES FROM WHEN IT CRASHED
! THATS NICE. I STARTED THE DOWNLOAD AGAIN AND ALSO PUT THE NEW PHOTOSHOP-- UH ERR NOTHING--- NEVER MIND THAT
. ONE HOUR LATER IT HAD DOWNLOADED
. I WAS FINALLY GOING TO SEE IT
!! SO I TURN IT ON AND ITS MAY
ON THE TELLY. HE SAID SOMETHING LIKE "OH COCK" AND IT WAS GREAT
. THANKS FG FOR GETTING THAT EP UP FOR ME TO DWNLD
. SO YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE GRL IN THE AUDIENCE THAT JC TALKED TO TODAY
. HOTT! LETS JUST SAY I PAUSED THE SCREEN ON THAT ONE
... NO, YOU DIDNT ACTUALLY THINK I WELL U KNOW...
. STILL THEN THEY SHOWED SOME OLD TG CLIPS FOR SOME REASON AND THEY SHOWED A PICE OF THE POLAR CHALLENGE WHICH I NVR SAW. THERE WAS A FROZEN PENIS
. THAT WAS A MAJOR
MOMENT. JUST BEFORE IT WAS OVER MY POWER DIED AS WELL
. STUPID BLACKOUTS. THATS OKAY THOUGH CUS THE PUB STILL HAD POWER
. I HEADED OUT THERE TO GET A PINT
AND ON THE WAY I CAME ACROSS A DODGE VIPER
. HE WANTED TO RACE
. OF COURSE THEN HE KILLED ME OFF THE LINE
. MY BMW WAS EMBARRASSING
. HE WENT TO THE SAME PUB I WAS GOING TO, SO AFTER HE WENT IN I PUT MY KEY IN TO THE SIDE OF HIS CAR
. THATS WHAT HE GETS! AT FIRST THEY OFFERED ME SUM LIGHT BEER CRAP
BUT I SAID NO WAY! SO AFTER A FEW BEERS
I GOT TIRED
. THERE WAS SOME STUPID KID SHOW ON THE TELLY WITH A
THING SO I WAS READY TO GO ANYWAY. I USED MY SATNAV TO GET HOME SINCE I WAS A BIT OVER AND THE STUPID THING ENDED UP TAKING ME OUT OF THE CITY IN TO SOME LITTLE DESERT
. DONT EVER TRUST BMW SATNAV. IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE THOUGH I SAW THIS BLOKE WHO LOOKED JUST LIKE THIS:
. IT MUST HAVE BEEN A CANADIAN
. SO ON THE WAY BACK THERE WAS QUITE A BIG EVENT. THEY WERE GIVING AWAY FREE PETROL TO ADVERTISE SOME NEW GAME
. IT DIDNT MATTER THOUGH CUS I GOT THAT NEW SPORT DIESEL BMW THING. WELL I WAS FEELING THE NEED FOR SPEED SO I JAMMED THE THROTTLE
AND MADE SOME OLD PENSIONER RIGHT ANGRY
. I COULD JUST IMAGINE TH TALK HE WANTED TO HAVE WITH ME
. SO THTS WHEN MY CAR STARTED TO MAKE A FUNNY NOISE. IT WANT AWAY AFTER A MINUTE
. I ENDED UP NEXT TO SOME RICERS AT A STOP AND THEY HAD THE MUSIC GOING LOUD
LOL. THEY ALL WERE 'YO NICE CAR AN SHIT' SO I FELT COOL
. BUT THEN MY EGO WAS CRUSHED WHEN I LEARNED THEY WERE RALLY JUST TAKING THE MICK
SO WHATEVR. LASTLY WHEN I WAS DRIVING HOME I NEARLY GOT IN WRACK BECAUSE I WAS A BIT DRUNK
AND A DOG JUMPED IN FRONT OF THE CAR STUPID ANIMALS
. WELL BACK AT MY PLACE THE POWER WAS BACK SO I TURNED TOP GEAR BACK ON
. THE STIG
TOOK A LAP IN SOME NEW ASTON AND I WAS DROOLING
! MAYBE ILL ASK FOR ONE FOR CHRISTMAS
!! AS TG ENDED CLARKSON SAID SOME JOKE ABOUT AN ACTOR OR SOMEONE I DONT KNOW
AND THAT LEFT ME CONFUSED
. I MUST SAY THOUGH, SEEING JC AGAIN...
. I JUST HAD TO POST MY THOUGHTS OF TEH EP ON FINAL GEAR SO I PULLED UP THE SITE. THE FIRST POST THAT CAUGHT MY EYE WAS SOME
POST ABOUT "
OMG!!! CHEAPV1AGRA.COM.MX REVEALS THE TRUE IDENTITY OF THE STIG!" SO I ASKED THE USUAL QUESTION
. AFTER THAT VIPER TOOK CARE OF THE
OR MAYBE IT WAS A
SINCE IT HAD US LAUGHING. EITHER WAY HE WAS :nazirenesis: !
REP FOR THAWT WOOT. THERE WERE ALREADY SEVERAL POSTS ABOUT THIS WEEKS EP SO I FF'D
TO THE LAST PAGE. I TYPED ABOUT HOW I THOUGHT HAMMO WAS WEARING SOMETHING FROM COWBOY FILMS
AND THAT CLARKSON SHOULD HAVE GIVEN HIM HELL. UNFORTUNATELY WHEN I WENT TO POST MY EP REVIEW, THERE WAS A FORUM BLACKOUT
. I WAS TIRED OF THE MY PRBLEMED DAY AND WENT OFF TO BED.
.
YES, I KNOW,
ANYWAY GOOD NIGHT