Wacky Races is coming...are you in?

[LeMans GTR]

^ Why kill Tesla though?

 

[Matt2000]

That's true, the Tesla might be the only glimmer of hope.

New update on the car: The cigar lighter has been increased from roughly 1 inch diameter to 5 inches to go with the 70's image, and also to light the jet fuel if the starter should fail. New racing seats have arrived to replace the armchairs that were originally in the car, and will be re-trimmed in camel skin for that hard wearing yet comfortable finish.

Music for the race is almost sorted, with an original copy of 'Paint It Black' to being the jewel in the leather clad crown (a record box). However we're not sure how to keep he needle on the record over the bumps yet.

News on the developments as it comes.

 

[Cryptopygia]

Official DSRacing/Red Bull giveaway

Say, do you feel like you want to win something? Anything, no matter how pointless it may be? Well, now you have a chance in the official DSRacing/RedBull limited edition drinks giveaway!

Yep, Red Bull has concocted several new drinks to be produced for a limited time only, and they have come to us to give away the first few cases of each. We're giving away 20 cases each of DScheRry, RBR, STR, and Crazy Dave colas and energy drinks. DScheRry is a soda similar to Dr. Pepper in taste, but with added caffeine, for even more kick, all in a artsy can penned by Jessie, who is also our interim livery designer. RBR is a higher concentration of the famous Red Bull formula. Shipping in a can painted to look like the F1 cars of the same acronym, RBR promises to provide an even greater burst of energy for the money. STR is our mild mix of the famous formula. Don't be fooled by the raging bull on the can, this is a drink for those who have never enjoyed an energy drink/are looking to gradually increase the size of some berries. Crazy Dave, well, I'm not allowed to tell you exactly what it is. It's a secret. What I can tell you, is that this stuff will make you want to shout in a combination of Gaelic and cockney (?)/chav, particularly the phrase "Och ay tha noo, muthafukas," and have every last sentence be in perfect english, possibly plugging a product you sell.

Of course, what good is a drink if you can't use it for stuff. You can

• Drink it.
• Chug it.
• Use it as deoderant/aftershave.
• Pour some cans in the gas tank of your motorcycle if the engine is sounding rough.
• Use it as a substitute for pee in the art of Jarate.
• Do things with it.

"Hot damn! What to I do?" you must be thinking. Simple, just print out the provided form here, then send it to [*CENSORED FOR REASONS OF SECURITY -- THE US MILITARY*], along with the modest sum of five zero dollars, to enter in the drawing for all 4 drinks. Send in an extra two bucks, and we'll enter you in the drawing for the last remaining cases of KO1, the drink created for our partner team, KUIPER Racing. A drink so exclusive, only the truly elite knew of it's existence. Don't you wish to be one of the elite? Only ten cases remain, so don't delay!

Also, our Mercedes Actros from last race is still for sale, so anyone still wishing to enter the race, but too uncreative to think up a vehicle can purchase a ready-made, competitive vehicle. (Weaponry will not be supplied) Asking price is $3,500,000. Ask for me.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to attend to this flea infestation I picked up from the meerkats. God, it itches like a fu-!

--Clay

Edit: Now the drinks are free. All money already sent in will be refunded.

 

[darkshark0159]

^The above post proves the brilliance of the Gro?reich (and ignorance of our enemies).

To explain, Red Bull is a Gro?reich drink company (as in reality, Red Bull is Austrian). The Gro?reich Council, with inspiration from The Imperial Office, had Red Bull produce drinks for rival DSRacing and Kuiper, so that unsuspecting supporters of the enemy would in fact be financially supporting the Gro?reich when buying these "DSRacing" special edition drinks. Oh, and we may have added a few small changes to the formula as well?

 

[Donington]

Wow this thread has come a long way since I last posted!

Lazy day at Team WP really, just finding those last few seconds at Zandvoort...

 

[PaperBiro]

^The above post proves the brilliance of the Gro?reich (and ignorance of our enemies).

To explain, Red Bull is a Gro?reich drink company (as in reality, Red Bull is Austrian). The Gro?reich Council, with inspiration from The Imperial Office, had Red Bull produce drinks for rival DSRacing and Kuiper, so that unsuspecting supporters of the enemy would in fact be financially supporting the Gro?reich when buying these "DSRacing" special edition drinks. Oh, and we may have added a few small changes to the formula as well?

I thought you said yourself Red Bull fled from Austria in light of the war.

 

[darkshark0159]

I thought you said yourself Red Bull fled from Austria in light of the war.

No I didn't.

Also, Red Bull-Reanult, which was based in Austria before the German-Swiss invasion, saw part of the team flee to France to join the Renault team

All I said was Renault portion of the F1 team fled.

 

[Jay]

June 27th-28th is the official weekend, everyone. Registration thread will be made one week prior.​

 

[darkshark0159]

do we really need a separate registration thread? I mean, we already have this:

Final Gear Wacky Race Summer 2009 - Competing Teams
01.

Team Shothouse - 1970 Plymouth Superbird (matt2000)??
02.

VonSmythe/Gro?reich - Rolls-Royce Von Smythe Signature Series (darkshark0159)
03.

TeamKuiper - Kuiper K02 (Nereid)
04.

Espace F1 - Renault Espace F1 (vikiradTG2007)
05.

Scorched Earth - 1969 Pontiac Grand Prix (Lupin_IV)
06.

veloceRACING - 2009 Pagani Zonda Cinque (LeMans GTR)
07.

DSRacing - Triumph Daytona 675 (American TG Man)
08.

Team Marlboro Avus - Avus Performance "WHITE POWER" Audi RS6 (Donington)
09.

Team FM - Austin Metro Vanden Plas (Final Daihatsu)
10.

Feraname - International MXT-MV (nouseferaname90)
11.

Scuderia Gman-Lurker Brown Shakedown - George Foremanator (Gman333-X-ferrari)?
12.

Team RF1 - Ford Nucleon (racingfan1)
13.

Scuderia KaJuN-Lincoln - Vehicle TBA (KaJuN)
14.

RG's Racing - 1968 Holden Monaro GTS (Richmondgal)
15.

Team 70s - 1978 Morris Marina (captain_70s)
16.

Team CrzRsn - Custom Zil-41047 Liftback (CrazyRussian540)
17.

F.A.I.L. - Tandem bicycle (cdbob)

Disqualified:
xx.

Team Freeman - Tata NANO (hail2tfreeman)

? Defending champion
? Previous Wacky Race winner

 

[Cryptopygia]

No I didn't.

All I said was Renault portion of the F1 team fled.

No you didn't.
.

Also, Red Bull-Reanult, which was based in Austria before the German-Swiss invasion, saw part of the team flee to France to join the Renault team

You only said part of the team fled to France. You didn't specify whether they came from Red Bull or Renault.

And technically, none of them could have been Renault employees, since RBR only uses engines from Renault.

But, this development has opened up an interesting predicament in your plans. You see, the fleeing mechanics managed to obtain a copy of the Red Bull recipes, as well as one of the chemists who create the drink, before fleeing to France. Through a convoluted system of allegiances, the recipes and chemist have reached us. Just in case the recipes have been tampered, we have also obtained the recipe for Krating Daeng (the Thai drink Red Bull is adapted from)

You also may not have realized that Red Bull and DSRacing have already partnered in the first Wacky Race. As such, we at least have the chance of some loyalty between companies remaining. Given the power of the Gro?reich, there is the chance that this may fail.

Plus, all profits will be divided between DSRacing, KUIPER Racing, and France. As a result, the Gro?reich shall not receive a profit from our giveaway.

And if you have any complaints about this, you can take them up with Jessie...

 

[darkshark0159]

You only said part of the team fled to France. You didn't specify whether they came from Red Bull or Renault.

If you want to get technical, but it was implied.

Anyway,

Red Bull, on behelf of the Gro?reich, has revoked your licence to continue producing the drink until a minimum 75% of profits are returned to the Gro?reich. If you do not comply with the terms of contract and we cannot pursue legal action due to the war, any factories producing unauthorised Red Bull or Red Bull-like drink will be put at the top of the Gro?reich Luftwaffe priority bombing target list.

 

[Cryptopygia]

Yeah, but we possess restricted airspace above our two bases, as well as several SAM sites given clearance to fire at will, in conjunction with a small portion of the US Air Force. Plus, Jessie is itching to destroy stuff...

Nevertheless, we have considered the situation, as we have seen it in our best interests to alter the giveaway, and give the drinks away for free, and have agreed to send 75% of the zero dollars we will collect to the Gro?reich. Also, we have made the decision to sever our ties to Red Bull GmbH, as we have finally gotten sick of being sponsored by a team owned by a rival faction (We never received any sponsorship money anyway. The decision comes in the light of the announcements that IKEA and British American Tobacco, two companies we were entertaining for sponsorship before the ill-fated partnership with Red Bull, have agreed to sign on as sponsors. Our bike shall now carry a 555 livery similar to the Honda/BAR cars that ran at the Chinese Grands Prix of 2005 and 2006, along with IKEA and Lucky Strike logos on the bike and leathers, along with Jessie redesigning hir helmet art to incorporate the famous John Player Special livery. The agreement between the latter company was mostly influenced by Jessie being an occasional smoker (a detail I neglected to type down until now).

So yeah, we're set. And any people we hired thanks to Red Bull were fired, had any technical details that were memorized wiped by Jessie, all technical drawings confiscated, and were replaced by technicians on loan from Volvo and Saab. Also, we've received several orders of allen wrenches and moose bite treatment kits.

 

[Donington]

Ku Klux Klan, Illinois Nazi Party file lawsuit against Team White Power, team renamed.

It was an interesting day today for Wacky Races entrant Team WP.

It began with news that the Ku Klux Klan and the Illinois Nazi Party were to file lawsuits against the team for copyright infringement over usuing their mottos, which first became obvious when Youtube starting removing the team's videos.

"It was at that point we realised our team name actually made us look like major racists." said team leader Don Ington. "We hadn't noticed it until now."

As well as this, the team has this evening finally announced their main sponsor. Which, in a move that has obviously nothing to do with other team's recent deals, Marlboro Cigarettes.

The team's temporary white and...err, pink Piswasser livery has now been replaced with the car now mostly white and deep red metallic with italic Marlboro logos similar to Ferrari's F2007. However, a beaming Richard Branson who randomly parachuted out of a space shuttle to be at the event could mean more sponsorship is on the way.

In another statement, Ington said. "Marlboro are not here purely to challenge British American. They have been huge fans of this most prestigious of prestigious races for a long time now. As well as that there was no bloody way I was gonna wear a fucking pink race suit."

As well as this Team White Power has since been renamed to the much more politically correct Team Marlboro Avus.

 

[Gman333-X-ferrari]

June 27th-28th is the official weekend, everyone. Registration thread will be made one week prior.​

Excellent - perfect timing.

 

[darkshark0159]

Emperor Wilhelm Von Smythe ended his visit to the Gro?reich Embassy to the Final Gear HQ earlier today, heading back to Geneva to focus on the increasingly brutal war, but not before making one last press conference. This morning, the Emperor himself gave a fascinating demonstration of just a few of the many systems installed on his latest Rolls-Royce. Below is handout that was distributed to the press.

A closer look at the Rolls-Royce Phantom Von Smythe Signature Series
Emperor Wilhelm Von Smythe's grand racing machine for this year's FG Wacky Race must be a very capable vehicle. That's why VonSmythe-BMW-Rolls-Royce spent eternity and fortune developing one of the most elaborate racing vehicles ever to see a Wacky Race.

Supercharged 72 valve V18, 16 Litre engine

Permanent four-wheel drive

Dynamic variable electromagnetic-controlled suspension

0-60mph in 3.2 seconds; 0-100 in 5.8 seconds; 0-100-0 in 14.5 seconds

----------------------------------

Laser-based exterior lighting

Holographic front and rear turn signals

----------------------------------

Luxury interior with rear-facing fold out seats

Fully adjustable and reclining rear seat that dynamically adjusts to support the occupant

Panoramic sunroof with docking system for modified Eurocopter

Full on-board telecommunications system with multiple terminals

Realworld Lighting ambient lighting system with switchable 'smart' glass

----------------------------------

Three separate bomb shelter enclosures for the engine bay, cockpit, and passenger cabin

Kevlar and gel lined run-flat tyres with on-demand studs and re-inflation system

Retracting plasma-warp thrusters

Omni-directional spray nozzles capable of delivering corrosive vapour and other liquids

Professional Series VonSmythe Industrie ASPLODE guns and canisters

Fully armoured exterior including blast and pinpoint force impervious glass

Professional Series VonSmythe Industrie Ohm-ega electrical resistance system safeguarding all vital electrics

Three separate bomb shelter enclosures for the engine bay, cockpit, and passenger cabin

Large under-floor safe holding 2% of the Gro?reich gold reserve

*Further vehicle modifications are classified at this time*

----------------------------------

Emperor Wilhelm Von Smythe's vehicle will also be assisted by Zentralkrafte military forces on the ground, in the air, and at sea.

 

[vikiradTG2007]

Team Espace F1's participation in this race has been thrown further in doubt because of the timeframe of the race and the escalation of the conflict between the other teams.

However, preparations are still ongoing. I can confirm the delivery of a lead-laced box whose contents are strictly classified. From what outside observers could tell, it seems as if the box is filled with some kind of ultra-heavy powder. The box itself will serve as a support for preparing polynome/integral-filled weapons, and its contents are to be used as the team's ultimate attack/defence weapon.

The nature of the powder shall be revealed after the first attack.


In other news, the team's highly-political drivers, Alain Prost and Nigel Mansell, have delivered a heavy diplomatic blow on the ongoing conflict between the other teams, labelling it as a "joke" and an "utter and complete waste of time". Michael Schumacher was unreachable for a comment on the matter, but he has also expressed his displeasure off the record.

 

[LeMans GTR]

veloceRACING: NDS

NDS (NANOTECH.DIVERGENCE.SYSTEM) is our latest innovation in racing technology. In the event of critical damage. The vehicle will split into two and reskin itself as two seperate vehicles to the driver's liking. This technology will also allow the vehicle to disguise itself to the opposition as well as act as a defense mechanism.

veloceRACING

 

[PaperBiro]

KUIPER Racing Launch Formula K World Challenge in Conjunction With SimBin and Ubisoft
https://pic.armedcats.net/n/ne/nereid/2009/05/24/fghs.jpg
More details have been revealed of KUIPER Racing's feeder racing series starting in November 2009, as Clay Alcata took to the streets of Stockholm in a GP2 car demonstration to promote the launch of Formula K World Challenge, a free simulator created for the purpose of finding the right talent for 2010. The Formula K cars will be modified GP2 Racers equipped with KUIPER Racing's own V8 Formula One engine powering the Brawn and McLaren teams in 2009. Users from all over the world (ex. Gro?reich countries and allies, where the site is nationally blocked anyways) will be able to download the simulator at the team's website KuiperDrive.org containing all the circuits of the provisional Formula K Calendar and be entered into the TT Tournament. All times in TT Mode will be sent to the KUIPER servers as well as race replays in the GP Mode. The team carefully monitors the databases for any potential talent, and a few hundred will be chosen to enter a shootout tournament-style World Challenge. The top 30 will be entered into the World Karting Series by KUIPER consisting of 5 rounds making the jump between virtual reality to real life, and after ID checks, medical checks and fitness training the top 15 will move to the real thing. A spokesman for KUIPER Racing said "Formula K is about finding hidden talent around the world. There are so many skilled drivers out there who deserve, but are failing to reach the top level of motorsport mainly due to sponsorship. We want to give those people the success they deserve and drive for us in 2010."

The provisional Formula K Calendar is as follows:

15th Nov R1: Brands Hatch Circuit
29th Nov R2: Aut?dromo Jos? Carlos Pace
13th Dec R3: Circuit de Spa-Francorchamps
10th Jan R4: Road America
24th Jan R5: N?rburgring Nordschleife (Subject to change)
7th Feb R6: Lago Potrero de los Funes
21st Feb R7: Istanbul Park
7th Mar R8: Circuit Clemont-Ferrand
28th Mar R9: Albert Park
4th Apr R10: Sepang International Circuit
16th May R11: Autodromo Internationale di Monza
22nd May R12 (SATURDAY): Circuit de Monaco

 

[darkshark0159]

^N?rburgring access denied. Contact the Gro?reich Government for more information.

 

[PaperBiro]

^Which is why I said subject to change. The war will be over by then.