Seems obvious to me, televised football fan fighting - start with Millwall v West Ham, 5 of their 'hardest' slog it out in Tesco's car park and the first one hospitalised loses. Would solve the ratings problems and football hooliganism in one go. By product would be a gentle re-distrubution of the shallow end of the gene pool, no bad thing.
We live in a world where everything comes with a warning notice. Railings. Vacuum cleaners. Energy drinks. My quad bike has so many stickers warning me of decapitation, death and impalement that they become a nonsensical blur.
The result is simple. We know these labels are drawn up to protect the manufacturer legally, should you decide one day to insert a vacuum-cleaner pipe up your bottom, or to try to remove your eye with a teaspoon. So we ignore them. They are meaningless. One drop at a time! Use extreme caution! On a sauce. Pah. Plainly it was just American lawyer twaddle.
I like a hot sauce. My bloody marys are known to cure squints. And at an Indian restaurant I will often order a vindaloo, sometimes without the involvement of a wager. So when I accidentally found that bottle of Insanity, I poured maybe half a teaspoonful onto my paella. And tucked in.
This week's article -- Help, quick ? I?ve unscrewed the top on a ticking bomb
This week's article -- Help, quick ? I?ve unscrewed the top on a ticking bomb
There?s a very good reason for this. Nowadays people wear their stupidity like a badge of honour. Knowing how to play chess will get your head kicked off. Reading a book with no pictures in it will cause there to be no friend requests on your Facebook page. Little Britain is funny because people vomit a lot. Monty Python is not because they delight in all manifestations of the terpsichorean muse.
When you go on a chat show, it is important you tell the audience straight away that you were brought up in a cardboard box and that your dad would thrash you to sleep every night. If you want to get on and to be popular you have to demonstrate that you know nothing. It?s why Stephen Fry makes so many bottom jokes.
Never seen Monty Python before but that made me lol.^^^ What she said. I've watched all those shows except for 'Allo 'Allo. I'd add Keeping Up Appearances (it's pronounced Bouquet!), Benny Hill, and Red Dwarf to that list even if the bloke that plays Kryten is a bit of a git.
Monty Python's brilliant. I'm guilty of owning the entire series on DVD, and four of the five movies they made (I don't have And Now for Something Completely Different). There's some sketches I like and some I love.
I agree that Python would never get commissioned today in this age of whingeing by the types of people who read The Grauniad and The Daily Fail.
Case in point:
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