Car review: Volkswagen Phaeton

frankiess

frankiess

Wankel Wanker
Joined
Apr 14, 2008
Messages
2,861
Location
Suburbia, Finland
Car(s)
MB Coal Mine, Renault Bucket
So we have my dad, who basically is the epitome of Volvo man. He's past fifty, grayish, doesn't drive dynamically and owns a Mazda 6. The Mazda's showing its age, so the old man's looking at some new wheels. What we need is a diesel estate, decent overall build quality, powerful engines, and most importantly, a quiet and comfortable ride. Sadly, Volvo man naturally came up with this:

http://img329.imageshack.**/img329/185/0702020061.jpg

A beige Volvo. Not only that I despise the brand, I figured you could get so much more for the same money. So (after facepalming massively) I put aside my other goals in life and determined to find a suitable, perhaps mildly used, car for my dad. A panic driven search through a couple of E-series Mercs gave me some good results, but we still had the age old problem: my dad doesn't like old cars. So somehow I had to overcome his misconception that cars can only do 70tkm before turning to dust.

I figured a massive wakeup call would do the trick and arranged for a test drive with a certain VW product:

http://img183.imageshack.**/img183/5624/phaeton220.jpg

Besides, it's also kind of a personal dream car for me, so this would be a perfect excuse to drive it. After listening to the salesman go on his (rather 80's style) salesrep, we took the V10 TDI for a drive. This was a 2004 model with 80tkm on the odo.


First impressions:

http://img60.imageshack.**/img60/6936/originall.jpg

What's all the commotion about this being something fantastically special? The interior feels like something from a Passat.

The door closing sounded like a Passat. This is my uber-cruiser! I want a classy thump. Not a clunk noise.

The computer was unfathomable, so I got bored with it instantly. Surely this is merely my own opinion. But I'm always more right than any of you, and I'd rather take BMW:s iDrive any day over this.


On the drive:

Alright, let's rumble. At least the V10 pulls nicely. But what's this? Tyre noise? On my 150,000 euro luxury sedan? And WHAT IS THAT HUMMING NOISE?! Honestly, there's a groaning humming coming from the far side front wheel well. There should NOT be a groaning humming coming from the far side wheel well. Again, feels like a Passat.

The front parking radar seemed to be blocked somehow: the warning lights kept coming up even on a straight B-road. I don't want that. I've seen Citro?n parking radars work better than this.

Well, the V10 made a handsome roar up to motorway speeds. And the Quattro seemed to stick to the bend. And guess what. My side mirror whistled. At 120kmh. At this point I told my dad we're going back.

I thought I'd give the sunroof a try first. After all, I like sunroofs. And a little sunshine might give this testdrive a brighter atmosphere... and the switch broke in my hand. Oh so Passat.

http://img389.imageshack.**/img389/5117/img0002h.jpg

Post-inspection

This is rust. Now I'm sorry, but public's 1500e Mazda doesn't have rust here. Seriously, does anyone else see some massive failurism here?

http://img87.imageshack.**/img87/112/img0001dku.jpg

So I've just spent a fortune on my dream car, and ended up with a thirsty VW Passat with some annoying wrinkles. Sad thing is, I'd still rather drive my 1000e BMW.


Conclusion:

This test drive didn't convince my dad that used cars can be excellent. Thing is, I think this car was crap when it was brand new. I'll still show him a couple of E-Mercs, but I'm also caving into the notion that maybe a slightly used V70 might be perfect.



Oh and sorry for using Google for most of the pics. I couldn't be bothered to do it properly like that other bloke does. :tease:
 
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I've seen one sell locally for $20k. Some 19yr old kid drives it.
 
Christ, that suspension's horrible. I've just spent two days looking at mine and it definitely looks newer.
 
frankiess said:
So we have my dad, who basically is the epitome of Volvo man. He's past fifty, grayish, doesn't drive dynamically...
Click to expand...

Oi! :mad:
:lol:

That suspension is pretty bad indeed! I can't imagine how so much rust has accumulated after just 5 years on the road.
 
2n15dmx.jpg


To annoy everybody, here's a shot of my 1991 rear suspension.

The car is from the same latitude as the VW, so the use of road salt is similar.
 
No, it's Tabasco sauce. ;)

I do have rust, but honestly for a Finnish car it's minimal.

14t606r.jpg


The matchbox-sized rust spot that's the biggest I have.
 
Yep, it's the gas tank. I talked to the tire shop guys today while they were doing the alignment (you can see the spanner marks on the nuts), and yesterday there had been a similar Mazda that had reeked of fuel so badly he wouldn't have dared to use anything to warm up the seized parts in its underbody.
 
Set him up with an Audi A6 or A8!
 
To defend the Phaeton based on my 2 days' worth of experience being driven around in one LWB V8 in China:

First, it is worth noting that the Phaeton is built in its very own factory, far away from the Passat. Next, the door closing sound could be due to the car having soft-closing/suction doors, which can make the sound differ. Finally, interior quality is superb as far as I know, and even WhatCar? agrees.

I have been driven in the current gen S600, a previous gen (E66) BMW 750Li, and our Rolls Royce Silver Seraph, and the backseat experience weren't as great as the Phaeton's. It's a perfect car built for the person in the backseat, not your dynamic driving BMW.

/threadjack
 
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That's about what my experience with the gasser Phaetons is - "hey, look, a giant Passat."

You may want to try him out on a Jag X308 or X350. Not to actually buy one, but to show how good a used car can be.
 
Strange, I never heard about any quality issues with the Phaeton.

By the way: Why didn't you make your own pictures? The first 2 pics are obviously official VW photos.

P.S.: The humming noise could come from the fact, that the car has snow tires mounted ;)
 
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Spectre said:
That's about what my experience with the gasser Phaetons is - "hey, look, a giant Passat."

You may want to try him out on a Jag X308 or X350. Not to actually buy one, but to show how good a used car can be.
Click to expand...

The interior quality is top notch compared to the other cars in its class at the time. I was more impressed with the Phaeton's interior than the then current S-class, 7-series, XJ, A8 and LS.
 
See, I didn't get that at all with the one I drove. In fact, one of the window switches broke while I was driving the thing. It also felt a bit cheap and like it was trying too hard to be an Audi... while not being an actual Audi.

I would much rather have its cousin, the A8.
 
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Spectre said:
See, I didn't get that at all with the one I drove. In fact, one of the window switches broke while I was driving the thing. It also felt a bit cheap and like it was trying too hard to be an Audi... while not being an actual Audi.
Click to expand...

I was in a used Phaeton W12 at a dealership that had ~50,000 miles on it and everything inside felt brand new. I was in a top spec, possibly lwb, version and it looked and felt like a proper luxury sedan. But for all we know, that one car could have been the exception and the rest are just falling apart.
 
MacGuffin said:
By the way: Why didn't you make your own pictures? The first 2 pics are obviously official VW photos.
Click to expand...

I'd wager he was so disappointed he couldn't be bothered to take pics himself. :lol:
 
A 5-year-old car of that class cannot have that much rust unless the owner didin't mind taking care of it.
People who buy those... never take care of their cars usually...

I think the Phaeton you drove was neglected.
 
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