Kill a dream

Granted. Now you're the dumb one.

I wish I didn't have to sleep.
 
Granted. Your eyeballs dry out and fall out of your head, your body constantly aches, and your brain ceases to be able to distinguish fact from the hallucinations.

I wish that they would stop putting kids with "cutsie" speech impediments in advertising!
 
Granted. They start using kids with "cutsie" movement disorders.

I wish the construction across the street was done already.
 
Granted. Your building is now undergoing refurbishment. Your floor is first. Right as they start to demolish the building behind to make way for the dragstrip.

I wish that I didn't have to go to work today.
 
Granted, sintead you go to prison.

I wish I didn't have to go anywhere tomorrow.
 
Granted. You don't have to go anywhere. But you are confined to the bathroom. You are not able to leave. That curry was a bit dodgy. You NEED to be there.

I wish that all my joints were in perfect working condition.
 
Granted, but you have an accident and soon your joints are worse than before.

I wish I still had a lower left leg.
 
Granted. You have a cow's right leg.

I wish I hadn't forgotten about my experiment that I started.
 
D'oh! Granted. You remember. 0:05 seconds before it explodes.

I wish that I didn't have to teach again today.
 
Granted, now you have to learn, which is so much more boring...

I wish it'd keep raining for weeks
 
Granted. 40 days and nights. Get building that ark!

I wish that our DBA team gets my upgrade in by 11am (please please please please please)
 
Granted. It crashes their system.

I wish I didn't have to go back to work tonight.
 
Granted. Don't have to go back tonight. But have to go back every other night FOR EVER!!!

I wish that our DBA team gets my upgrade in by 12pm (please please please please please)
 
Granted. Received, dunno how to integrate it.

I wish things actually worked around here.
 
Granted. They work there as well as they do here. :p

I wish that today had run more smoothly
 
Granted. Smoothly downhill.

I wish this work day would end already.
 
Granted. It ends with a big earthquake and the building falling into the huge canyon that just opened up underneath it.

I wish that this whole batch process hadn't fallen over.
 
Granted. It caught fire.

I wish I had my own technician to do stuff for me.
 
Granted, but it costs so much to pay tthe technician that you are broke.

I wish I could go into space.
 
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